How Long is Forever?
by Azurela
Summary: They said their vows, and promised to be together for forever, but what happens when tragedy strikes, and that's no longer the best course of action? SEQUEL to Reckoning. Roxas' POV Akuroku.
1. Chapter 1

Rating: **M**

Summary: They said their vows, and promised to be together for forever, but what happens when tragedy strikes and that's no longer the best course of action? _**SEQUEL**_ to Reckoning. Roxas' POV Akuroku.

A/N: I was rereading Reckoning, and as I did, got inspired to write a sequel- especially since so many of you asked me to.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

Happy Akuroku day everyone (early).

I'm horrible with waiting- wanted to do something for A/R day. But... 's like... if I get Christmas or birthday presents- I want to give them early or on the same day, cos I love seeing the look of pure joy on the reciever's face. =.=;

I might write someting else on Akuroku day. If I don't.... uhm... happy AKUROKU DAY.

**How Long is Forever?**

--

It was an average Saturday morning. The birds were chirping and sunlight was filtering in through the window to Axel- the most wonderful red-head in the world- and my bedroom and it hit my face, gradually waking me, as was often the case. I opened my eyes slowly, smiling widely at that beautiful face next to mine.

Axel was sleeping soundly, dreaming perhaps of something that made him content. Slowly, I ran my thumb along his cheek, smiling wider yet, and a little sleepily, as I remembered that today wasn't so average after all- today was the one year anniversary of our marriage.

I lent in, pressing my lips to his, not surprised in the least when he woke.

"Good morning," I whispered, pulling back and smiling at him. Brilliant emerald met my sapphire and he smiled back at me, making my heart nearly stop.

"Good morning, beautiful," he whispered back, pulling me closer. "Happy anniversary," he whispered, eyes lighting up.

"You remembered," I said, happily.

"How could I forget?"

"I wasn't sure of if you thought it was important-"I started, stopping and glancing at him questioningly when he pressed his fingers to my lips.

"Roxas… you mean more than anything to me. Today is _very_ important to me," he said, quite seriously. I felt my face heat up slightly and he smiled, replacing his fingers with his lips, kissing me slowly. I kissed him back, just before he pulled away, smiling. "Let's get ready," he said softly.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

"Whatever you want- my entire day is dedicated to you." I smiled widely.

"Alright."

--

I waited for Axel in the living room- I'd decided on wearing something simple, a plain black t-shirt and jean shorts that went to my knees- wondering what we would do today. I glanced down at the rings on my left hand, smiling slightly and supposing that it didn't really matter. Axel being there would be the most important thing and I was sure that we'd have a great time.

I smiled at him when he emerged.

He was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and his tight jeans and his brilliant red spikes were pulled back into a low ponytail. My smile widened as he approached and the red-head smirked, not stopping until he was in front of me.

The red-head's smirk widened and he bent down until our noses brushed. "Ready, Rox?" he asked. My smile widened.

"Almost," I whispered, gripping his neck and pulling him down until our lips crashed together. Axel immediately responded, kissing me back with full force, not pulling away until I was breathless. I smiled again, kissing his cheek and grasping his hand before standing. "Alright," I said, leading him to the front door.

Axel pulled out his car keys as we went outside and I paused. "What is it Rox?" he asked. I glanced up at him.

"It's a beautiful day, do you mind if we walk?" I asked. The red-head smiled down at me, lovingly.

"Of course not," he said, grasping my hand more tightly. "Where do you want to go?"

"Well," I said as we walked down the stairs, toward the gate surrounding Axel's house, "How about the park?" The red-head looked thoughtful for a moment then smiled widely.

"Alright," he said. "Would you like some ice cream first?" I laughed lightly.

"You know me too well," I replied, pulling him along. His smile widened.

"I'd hope so."

--

We soon found ourselves walking through the park, left hands joined, each eating a sea-salt ice cream bar.

"Axel, can we sit for a while?" I asked.

"Sure, Rox," he said, following me as I led him toward a grassy area. We sat next to a rose bush, silently eating and I glanced up at the sky. It looked somewhat… foreboding. "What are you thinking about?" Axel asked suddenly.

I licked away the last of my ice cream then glanced at him. "I think it's going to rain," I said. Axel seemed to cringe slightly but didn't complain- he knew I loved the rain. "You know, if it does rain, we can go indoors until it stops."

The red-head gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "What do you want, Roxas?"

"I'd rather stay out here-" I said, stopping when it began to sprinkle.

"Then would you like to dance?" he asked. I smiled excitedly, remembering the first time I'd asked him to.

"Really?" I asked. Axel laughed.

"Yes," he said, standing and pulling me up as it rained harder. I hugged him excitedly.

"I'd love to," I said, hugging him tightly. The red-head looked more than happy to see me happy and hugged me closely to himself, beginning to slow dance.

We danced for at least ten minutes, becoming thoroughly soaked, but laughing and spinning and having a good time. I shivered, sneezing when we paused, and the red-head wrapped his arms around me.

I smiled up at him when he pressed our foreheads together. "Are you alright, Rox? Do you want my sweatshirt?" I shook my head and gripped either side of his face with my hands.

"No," I whispered, standing on my toes and locking our lips together. He kissed me back and in that perfect moment, he became my entire world.

Eventually I pulled back, smiling and wiping a few strands of his wet hair out of his face. "Thank you."

"For?" He asked, looking confused. I laughed.

"Getting soaked for me."

"I'd do anything for you, Roxas," he whispered, pressing our foreheads together again. "You mean the world to me. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Axel," I whispered back, our eyes locking.

The red-head smiled, kissing my forehead before grasping my hand again and continuing our walk even though it was still raining. Soon we were exiting the park. I smiled up at him then glanced out at the street and froze.

There was a little girl, running out into the street, hopping in the puddles and not paying attention. Neither was the driver who was heading straight for her.

I heard Axel call my name questioningly when I dropped his hand and ran toward her without thinking. All I could think about was getting there in time.

I heard my name again- in a more panicked tone- when he realized what I was doing but ignored him, running out into the street and pushing the girl out of the way.

"_Roxas!"_ I heard, glancing back at Axel just before something hit me, causing extreme pain, knocking the wind out of me and sending me flying as my vision went black.

--

When I woke, I was frightened, alone and defenseless in darkness. I panicked somewhat when I looked below me, seeing doctors surrounding my body, trying desperately to revive me. I also noticed… the pain I was in wasn't as bad.

I saw a familiar red-head anxiously pacing in the next room and felt somewhat relieved, calling out to him until yellow glowing eyes surrounded me, belonging to shadowy monsters that I was certain would devour me the second I let my guard down.

I backed away, fear growing and just when I was certain they were about to attack, I saw a brilliant, comforting light and ran toward it, feeling relief from the pain I was in as I approached it. I was nearly there when something pulled me back, jolting me back to my body and all I could think of was the immense pain I was in. I wanted to scream, to do something- but I was powerless to do anything about it.

--

When I woke again, I saw a stark white ceiling and was unsure of where exactly I was.

I glanced to the side, seeing someone sleeping next to my bed in a chair. His hand was on the bed, next to mine. I stared at his brilliant red hair for a moment then slowly reached out, grasping his hand, wondering if he knew what was going on.

He grimaced when I squeezed his hand then slowly opened his eyes. They were brilliant- the most vivid green I'd ever seen.

The second he saw me, his eyes widened then watered. "Thank God, Roxas!" he said, hugging me tightly. "I'm so happy that you're alright!" I blinked, somewhat confused but otherwise didn't move. "Roxas?" he asked, pulling back. I tilted my head to the side slightly.

"I'm glad that you're happy that I'm alright but…" I said, growing more confused by the minute, "who are you?"

--

-TBC-

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: **M**

Summary: They said their vows, and promised to be together for forever, but what happens when tragedy strikes and that's no longer the best course of action? _**SEQUEL**_ to Reckoning. Roxas' POV Akuroku.

A/N: Special thanks to everyone who's giving this a shot. And I'm glad you're all liking it so far.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 2

--

_Last chapter:_

"_I'm glad that you're happy that I'm alright but…" I said, growing more confused by the minute, "who are you?"_

--

The red-head stared at me long and hard for what felt like forever, his mouth slightly agape, making me shift uncomfortably. Finally, he gripped my hand tightly. "What?" He finally managed to say. I blinked.

"Who are you?" I asked. He looked even more shocked.

"It's me, Axel, your husband-"he started to say but stopped when I pulled my hand out of his, widening my eyes.

"What? No! That can't be right," I said, eyes widening in fear. I didn't even know the red-head. How could I be bound to someone I didn't even know? He had to be lying to me, I thought, closing my eyes tightly as I continued to think.

I couldn't have amnesia, I found myself reasoning. I mean: I could remember other things- my mother, blonde and beautiful, my abusive father... And now, clearly, I was in a hospital… and the room I was in seemed familiar but I couldn't remember why…

I chanced looking at the red-head, giving him my attention once more as I reopened my eyes. He looked like he'd been slapped across the face. "R-Roxas?" he asked, sounding hurt and reaching for me. I immediately tried to distance myself from him.

"How do you know my name?" I asked, accusingly, narrowing my eyes. There was no plausible reason…

"Because we're married-"he said, eyes shining.

"No!" I yelled, shaking my head and closing my eyes. I felt the bed shift and started to shake.

"Yes," he said, softly, "I'll prove it to you," gripping my left hand and raising it. "Open your eyes." We sat in silence until I hesitantly did as he asked, just wanting him to leave me alone.

I saw my hand, raised to eye level. On my ring finger were two rings that glistened brilliantly. And it scared the shit out of me.

"See?" he asked, showing me the ring on his own hand. I jerked my hand away, heart pounding due to fear as I pushed him away from me, shaking my head again.

"S-stop l-lying to me," I said, mixed feelings and thoughts going through my head.

"Roxas, I'm not lying. _Please_ listen to me… I love you so much," he begged, as he reached for me again.

"_Leave me alone!"_ I screamed at him, closing my eyes and curling up defensively as I began to cry.

The room went quiet and when I opened my eyes again, he was gone.

--

That night, I couldn't sleep. I was too afraid and kept thinking of the 'what-if's for if this 'Axel' person came back.

Would he attack me? Would he force himself on me because we were 'married'? My eyes widened at the thought.

What if he was really just some psychopath who pushed his delusions onto others? How had I _really_ gotten into the hospital? I still didn't know. Why weren't the doctors keeping him away from me?

_Surely_, I would remember getting married, right?

I glared at the rings on my finger. They were the only thing that was making me question the conclusions I'd come to and I halfway wondered if he'd just put them on.

I tried to take them off, wanting to throw them away but nearly growled in frustration moments later. They were stuck.

After a moment I frowned and opted for hiding my hand under the pillow instead. I frowned deeper, still able to feel them, but froze, heart pounding and staring at the wall when I heard the door open then close.

I closed my eyes, hearing footsteps come up to my bed and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from making any noise. I knew it was him- it had to be.

I wasn't sure of what he was doing, but I heard him set something next to me. I bit my cheek harder when a hand touched my shoulder.

"Happy Anniversary, Rox," he whispered quietly into my ear before slipping away.

I opened my eyes when I heard the door open again and glanced in front of me, seeing a bouquet of white flowers in front of me. _Chrysanthemums._

"_How did he know… my favorite flower?"_ I whispered, shocked, once the door had closed.

--

I must've fallen asleep some time after that because I woke to yelling.

"_What the fuck do you mean you don't know if the memory loss is permanent or not?!"_

"_We're sorry, Mr. Kurato- it's just hard to say at this point. Honestly he's lucky he didn't get hurt worse-"_

"_There has to be something you can do! …please."_

"_We're sorry- only time will tell."_

I opened my eyes wide when I heard a loud crash and turned, seeing that a chair had been thrown. And that a very angry looking red-head was coming toward my room.

"_Maybe you should calm down before going in there,"_ I heard, quickly facing the wall again, just before he came inside. I froze in fear, squeezing my eyes shut again as I heard footsteps coming toward my bed.

"Roxas?" I heard him say gently as he shook me then pushed me onto my back. "Roxas," he repeated, more loudly this time. "Wake up, we're going home."

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes, staring up at him fearfully. When he saw my reaction, I saw how horribly sad he looked and in that moment, felt like reaching out to him but the nurse spoke before I could.

"I'm sorry sir, but he can't leave without the doctor's approval-"she began. My eyes widened when a look of fury crossed the red-head's face.

"No, I think you and the doctor have done enough already. I wouldn't suggest interfering," he growled, standing and pointing a gun at her. The nurse paled, "Roxas is coming with me." I gripped his hand.

"Alright, just don't hurt her," I whispered, voice shaking.

"Roxas?" he said, concerned, reaching out to touch me.

"Don't!" I yelled, flinching and squeezing my eyes shut, "Don't… hurt me…"

"Roxas… I wouldn't ever…" he whispered, sounding hurt. I opened my eyes when he let go of my hand and saw him slump into a nearby chair, a defeated look on his face. _"W-why…"_ he whispered, gripping his head with his hands, a mix of emotions coming across his face as he started to cry. _"Why did we have to walk?"_

The nurse, still looking like she was fearing for her life, quickly exited the room, leaving us alone. After a few moments of hesitation, I asked him what I'd been dying to know.

"What happened to me?" I asked. "Why am I here? What do you mean by 'why did we have to walk'?" The red-head took a few deep breaths, attempting to get himself under control.

"We were celebrating our anniversary. You wanted to walk rather than drive and we ended up going through the park. As we exited you saw a little girl, about to get hit by a car, pushed her out of the way and got hit instead. You… died at one point and I was so scared I'd lost you… but they were able to bring you back." I stared at him, trying to absorb what he'd said.

"Your story sounds… believable and all but… why can't I remember it? Why can't I remember _you?_ I can't have amnesia… I can remember other things…"

"The trauma caused brain damage in your temporal lobe… so it's mostly your memories that have been affected by getting hit. Which memories, we're unsure of but clearly it's memories involving me," the red-head said, closing his eyes. "The doctor doesn't know if it's permanent or not."

"I…" I whispered, unsure of what to think.

"Do you want me to bring in the doctor and have him explain as well?"

"Yes," I replied, taking a shaky breath.

Axel stood, making his way to the door, not returning for a long time. When he did, there was a man in a white coat with him.

"Hello, Roxas, I'm Doctor White- how're you feeling?" he asked. I gripped the blankets around me.

"Confused. What's wrong with me?"

"To put it bluntly- you got pretty banged up when that car hit you." My eyes widened. A car… really hit me? "There was severe head trauma and it looks like bruising of the brain, and damage in the temporal lobe, which it seems has caused memory loss. We're not sure of if or when you'll get better… but you can go home with your husband as soon as tomorrow."

I felt my eyes water. It was true? All of it? I was married? I'd lost my memory? Who _was_ I, really? I wondered, beginning to cry.

"Roxas?" Axel asked, reaching for me. I cried harder and he stopped. "Do you want to be left alone?" he asked quietly. I turned away from them, curling up and covering myself with the sheets, wanting to disappear.

I continued to cry, even as I heard the door open and close. Axel didn't bother me for the rest of the day.

--

-TBC-

A/N: I was hoping to post sooner but circumstances wouldn't allow it -_-;

And I'm noticing that the chapters are kindof short- sorry. Perhaps as the story progresses, they'll get longer.

Anyway, love it, hate it? Let me know?


	3. Chapter 3

Rating: **M**

Summary: They said their vows, and promised to be together for forever, but what happens when tragedy strikes and that's no longer the best course of action? _**SEQUEL**_to Reckoning. Roxas' POV Akuroku.

A/N: Special thanks to everyone who's giving this a shot. And I'm glad you're all liking it so far.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 3

--

_Last chapter:_

"_Roxas?" Axel asked, reaching for me. I cried harder and he stopped. "Do you want to be left alone?" he asked quietly. I turned away from them, curling up and covering myself with the sheets, wanting to disappear. _

_I continued to cry, even as I heard the door open and close. Axel didn't bother me for the rest of the day._

--

The next day, Axel took me 'home'.

The night before, I couldn't sleep- for the second night in a row. I had a lot on my mind and couldn't help but wonder about Axel, about myself... I couldn't stop, not even when my door opened the next morning and a familiar red-head came inside my room.

"You're awake," he said, looking and sounding surprised.

"I didn't sleep," I replied, staring at the wall. I felt the bed shift but didn't respond, not even when he grasped my hand.

"…Roxas," he said quietly. Hesitantly, I looked at him. He looked very upset and worried.

"Don't worry about me. Just tell me what you want."

Axel looked down for a long moment. "I want to take you home."

"_Home,"_ I breathed, tone almost mocking but not quite. "I don't suppose I can stop you, can I?" Axel looked like he was about to protest but I pulled my hand out of his and laid on my side before he could. "Do what you want. It's not like it matters- we'll be leaving eventually no matter what."

"What do _you_want, Roxas," Axel asked just as quietly. I closed my eyes.

"It doesn't matter." Axel sighed softly.

"Yes it _does,_" he urged. I didn't reply. _"Please,_Roxas, _talk_ to me. _Tell _me what you want."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "How can I know what I want if I don't even know who I am?" I asked, our eyes locking, mine filling with tears. I was feeling hysterical- depressed, angry, sad and anxious all at the same time… and hating it. And to top it off, I was exhausted.

"…Roxas…" the red-head said sadly. I flinched when he touched my cheek and he closed his eyes. "Do you want another day for yourself?"

"_It doesn't matter!"_ Axel took a deep breath then went quiet for a long time.

"I'm taking you home then. I'll be back for you shortly," he finally said before pulling away and exiting the room.

--

It wasn't long before a nurse entered my room. I noticed that she was the one that Axel had threatened.

"Good morning, honey," she said, smiling half heartedly. She was a pretty woman- petite with brown eyes and short black hair.

"Hi," I said quietly. She looked like she was on edge but smiled again in an attempt to mask it.

"It looks like you'll be going home today, so I'm going to get you ready to go, alright?" she explained. I nodded and she continued, taking the IV out of my arm, putting a band-aid where the needle had been, and unhooking me from any machines. When she was finished, I gripped her wrist. She looked at me, alarmed.

"What's your name?" I asked, letting go. Her expression softened.

"It's Yuffie."

"Yuffie…" I repeated. "I'm sorry for what Axel did to you." She shook her head, closing her eyes.

"Don't be sorry, Roxas. It wasn't your fault and… I'm sure he's just very frustrated and worried about you." I gave her a confused look as she reopened her eyes. "I've seen you two together before… It must be so hard… having the one you love not remember you, and not knowing if they ever will," she explained, our eyes locking. I looked away, unsure of what to think, or say, just before the door opened.

Yuffie gently touched my shoulder. "Bye, Roxas and good luck," she said quietly enough so that only I could hear. I smiled at her just before she pulled away.

"Bye, Yuffie," I whispered back, watching her go, before my focus switched to the red-head standing in the doorway.

Axel hesitated for a moment then slowly approached me.

"Are you ready?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Sure." The red-head closed his eyes but didn't say anything. "Can I ask you something?" I asked once he'd reached my bedside.

"Anything," he whispered, brilliant green eyes opening and locking with mine.

"How long have I been in here?"

"A little over a week." I glanced away, thinking. Axel'd said that we were married, so it'd make sense for him to be here, but something was still bothering me.

"Why isn't my dad here? Why isn't _he_ taking me home?" I asked. What'd happened to him..? Axel's eyes widened.

"Roxas… he died almost four years ago," he said, sitting next to me on my bed.

"W-what? How?"

The red-head stiffened, hesitating for a long moment. "He got shot in the head." I studied him.

"What are you leaving out?" I asked. He glanced away, crossing his arms.

"The Roxas I know appreciates honesty, but I'm not so sure you would, or if you should hear the whole story right now."

"Why?" I asked. Axel looked at me, his eyes boring into mine.

"You didn't know that your father was dead, so tell me, what do you remember about him?"

"What difference does it make?" I asked. He gripped the edge of the bed.

"It makes a _big_ difference."

I bit my lower lip. What couldn't I remember? "Well…" I started, "I know that he was addicted to drugs then went a bit crazy after he killed my mother…"

"Does the name 'Vexen' mean anything to you?" he interrupted. I gave him a puzzled look.

"… No." He stared for a long time.

"Can you tell me how old you are?" he asked, gaze softening.

"That's easy-"I started, stopping. I didn't know. I mean… I'd thought eleven, but that didn't make sense if I was married… and my dad had died almost four years ago… and my body was obviously far more mature...

"Roxas?" Axel asked when I'd gone quiet for a few minutes.

"I… I don't know," I whispered. I looked up at him and our eyes locked. "Will you tell me?"

"You're twenty, Roxas." My eyes widened and I covered my mouth as I tried to absorb what he'd said. I began to shake. _Half... I couldn't remember half of my life?! _I wondered, heart pounding wildly.

The red-head immediately wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. "Don't worry. It will be alright," he soothed. I didn't move. I couldn't… I was terrified.

This person… holding me in his arms… knew more about me than I did, I thought, closing my eyes and beginning to cry.

--

When I'd calmed down, Yuffie returned. She and Axel helped me get out of bed- which was a little difficult to do- then helped me get into a wheelchair. The nurse, on the doctor's order, wheeled me out of the hospital. I didn't say anything- I needed the help. And I was still in shock.

Once we were outside, Axel took over, wheeling me to a black, sleek, car and opened the passenger door for me, helping me inside. I pushed away from him, rather quickly, as soon as I no longer needed his help. If he'd noticed, he chose not to say anything.

I kept an eye on the other male once I was situated, watching as Axel made his way around the car. I looked away, but continued to watch him in my peripheral vision when he opened the door and got in the driver's side. "Ready?" he asked. I shrugged. Axel sighed. "Are you mad at me?" he asked. I glanced at him, hating his ability to know how I was feeling.

"Somewhat."

"…Why?" He asked carefully. Our eyes locked.

"For reasons beyond your control."

"Elaborate, please." I tilted my head to the side, my eyes narrowing.

"How would you feel if you were married to a complete stranger and they knew more about you than you did?" I asked, attempting to keep my voice neutral. I wasn't doing a very good job.

"How would _you_feel if you saw the one you love nearly die and then have them wake up not remembering who you are?" he immediately challenged. He reached toward me, as if to touch me and I flinched. He stopped, "…to not even be able to touch them," he whispered, eyes narrowing looking as if his point had been proven. I looked away, glaring at nothing in particular.

"_Don't_ touch me."

"Why? Why the hell are you so afraid of me, Roxas?!" He asked. He sounded more bitter than angry.

"Because I don't want you to!" I yelled, refusing to look at him. There was a long silence.

"I'd rather not fight," I said quietly, wanting to be anywhere but here. Axel sighed, running a hand through his fiery hair.

"I'm sorry… I'm just… frustrated." I closed my eyes.

"Just take me 'home'."

--

Axel and I didn't speak during our car ride. Honestly, it was just fine with me… I really didn't know what to say.

The red-head didn't stop driving until we'd come to our destination. It was a large house, surrounded by an iron gate and we pulled inside. I looked around, surprised. It was huge. Axel didn't say anything, not even when he stopped the car and opened the door for me.

The red-head held out his hand and looked at me expectantly. Hesitantly, I took it.

"Where are we going?" I asked when he didn't take me inside. He continued to lead me somewhere, not answering. I tried to pull my hand out of his, but his grip was too strong. "Hey, don't ignore me!" Axel hesitated, glancing back at me.

"I thought that you'd like to see your garden first."

"My… garden?" I asked, just as he opened a door leading to the back yard. I couldn't help but gasp involuntarily when he did. He released my hand, and I slipped past him, out the door.

There were flowers. Everywhere. Even on the trees. They were all blooming beautifully. Past them, on the far end were what looked like vegetables, and in the center of the garden was a fountain.

"I'll let you look around," the red-head said, walking past me and going on a bench underneath a plum tree. I watched him carefully until he'd sat down, then began to explore.

I felt like I knew where everything was, coming across flowers and fruit trees where I thought they should be. And for some reason… every single plant felt precious to me.

Painstakingly slowly, I made my way through, examining each and every one, eventually stopping when I came to Axel and sitting next to him.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"They need water." The red-head glanced around.

"Probably. They've been neglected while you were away, since you always insist on watering them. I watered them the other day, when I picked some flowers for you, but I'm sure you do a better job."

"I do?" I asked.

"Every morning and every afternoon." I smiled.

"Well, I'm sure you don't want the backyard to fall to chaos again, so I try hard to keep it nice," I said, absentmindedly, having a mental image of what it used to look like, remembering the hard work Demyx and I put into it. "Besides, I'm sure Demyx would be disappointed if I didn't. I hate seeing him sad-" Axel gripped my hand.

"You remember Demyx?"

"Why wouldn't I? He's taught me so many things- how to fight how to play the Sitar… he even helped me get the yard into shape."

"… you met him after me," Axel replied, running a hand though his hair and taking a shaky breath. I opened my mouth then closed it, unsure of what to say. I wasn't even sure of why I'd said that.

"Axel…" The red-head shook his head.

"Don't feel guilty. That's the last thing I want." I closed my eyes. "I'll just… take you inside and show you around." I looked at him and our eyes locked. He looked very unhappy.

"…Alright."

--

Axel led me inside, closing the door behind us just before turning on the light. I jumped when a mass of people yelled _"WELCOME HOME!"_ Many were wearing black leather jackets that looked vaguely familiar. The red-head saw my terrified expression and stepped in between us.

"I didn't realize that you all were here…"

"We're just so happy to hear that Roxas is alright," Demyx said, approaching and waving happily to me. I waved back timidly.

There was a slate haired boy standing next to him and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember him. He touched Demyx's shoulder. "I think something is amiss," he said quietly.

"Why do you say that, Zexion?"

"Roxas' demeanor he looks-"

"I'm sorry everyone," Axel interrupted, "But it'd be better if you weren't here right now." The faces of the people across the room morphed into a look of worry.

Two small girls, one blonde, one red-headed made their way up to Axel while everyone else remained frozen.

"Nii-san, why not?" the blonde asked.

"We want to see Roxy-"Axel shook his head and knelt down.

"I'm sorry you just can't right now. I'll explain later, I promise." They looked at me pleadingly and I felt my heart begin to sink so I opened the door behind me and went back outside into the garden, hastily closing it behind me.

--

I was rather relieved when no one followed or bothered me for quite some time. Eventually though, Axel came outside and sat next to me, next to some white chrysanthemums.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know they'd be coming." I stared down at the grass.

"Then it wasn't your fault and you don't have to apologize," I replied, going quiet for a long time. I had a feeling that he'd 'explained' in my absence.

"…how are you feeling?" Axel asked.

"Increasingly confused and exhausted."

"You do look exhausted… would you like to sleep?" he asked. I tensed. "I'm not going to bother you, I promise." I looked at Axel.

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"Wherever makes you feel most comfortable."

"I don't even know what my options are," I whispered. Axel smiled sadly before closing his eyes.

"Come with me," he said softly. I watched him stand then go toward the house, hesitantly doing the same.

The red-head went inside the house, not stopping until he'd led me to a bedroom. I looked around. It felt familiar.

"This is our room. You can stay in here. It'd probably be easiest, since this is where your clothes are. There's a bathroom through there," he said, gesturing to the left, "In case you need it."

Axel turned, bending toward me slightly. I took a step back, panicking when I realized that my back was to the wall. "I'll be sleeping on the couch, in the living room, if you need me," he informed me, those brilliant emeralds of his locking with my cerulean. "If you're uncomfortable with that, there's a lock on the door," he whispered. He looked like he wanted to say something but was holding back. Eventually, he closed his eyes and whispered 'sleep well' before slipping away.

As soon as he'd left and had shut the door behind him, I made my way to the door and locked it.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Sorry for my slowness- I've gotten addicted to a new anime: Kyo Kara Maoh! It's pretty amazing, not gonna lie. I've already gotten to the third season in watching it (up to 84? episodes). My best friend and I are even making cosplaying plans for it (I'm rather gifted at sewing :]).

Also: it's a bit of a challenge to write "I hate your guts, Axel" Roxas. -_-;

Anyhow, enough rambling. How'd I do?

Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Special thanks to everyone who's giving this a shot. And I'm glad you're all liking it so far. Sorry for taking so long.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 4

--

_Last chapter:_

"_I'll be sleeping on the couch, in the living room, if you need me," he informed me, those brilliant emeralds of his locking with my cerulean. "If you're uncomfortable with that, there's a lock on the door," he whispered. He looked like he wanted to say something but was holding back. Eventually, he closed his eyes and whispered 'sleep well' before slipping away._

_As soon as he'd left and had shut the door behind him, I made my way to the door and locked it._

--

I walked to the large spacious bed, which was situated in the center of the room, back against the wall adjacent to the door. It was perfectly made.

I hesitated, stopping when I was standing next to it, briefly wondering which half was mine. Eventually, I ended up picking the half I was closest to.

I lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling. No matter how badly I wanted to, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't fall asleep.

I sighed then decided to glance around the room, vaguely wondering what Axel did for a living. What did… do…?_ I_ do for a living? I wondered, as I did. My eyes lingered on the door and I felt my face heat up when my stomach growled.

I wasn't sure of what to do, not really wanting to venture outside of the bedroom. My stomach growled for a second time- much more loudly, making me groan. Hesitantly, I got up and went to the door, trying to make the least amount of noise possible.

I paused at the door, my heart pounding as I slowly unlocked it. Cautiously, I poked my head out and looked around, relaxing slightly when I saw the red-head sleeping on the couch. I envied his ability to be able to.

Slowly, I stepped out into the living room, still trying to make the least amount of noise possible. I was almost past the red-head when my stomach growled again, louder yet. I felt my eyes go wide, cursing silently and gripped my stomach before glancing at him. He was shifting, tossing his head to the side softly, as if fighting consciousness. I closed my eyes, praying to some higher power that he wouldn't wake up.

"R-Roxas," he whimpered. His voice sounded so small. I remained where I was. "Please don't leave me… don't!" I opened my eyes. He was tossing and turning. It looked like he was having a bad dream.

I knelt down and noticed that he was crying. "Don't die…" he sobbed. Without thinking, a put my hand on his forehead and gently ran my fingers through his hair. I was surprised by how soft it was.

"I'm right here. I'm not going to die," I whispered, gently. It hurt to see him cry like that for some reason. Axel seemed to calm, and I was just about to pull away when his beautiful green eyes fluttered open. Those sparkling emeralds locked with my sapphire and my mind went blank. All I could think about was how stunning he looked.

I opened my mouth, but before I could speak, arms wrapped around me and he pulled me into a tight embrace. "Roxas!" I stiffened and, realizing what he was doing, he let go. "I'm sorry… I just…" he started.

"What were you dreaming about?" I asked, peering down at him. His arms were loosely wrapped around me.

"The day you died," he whispered, closing his eyes. "I've been so worried about you that I've only gotten some sleep right before you woke up… and now."

"I'm sorry for waking you…" I whispered. The red-head shook his head.

"I'm glad you did," he said. He glanced at the nearest clock then blinked in surprise looking as if he'd just thought of something. "Haven't you gotten any sleep yet, Roxas?"

"I… no. I couldn't," I whispered, pulling out of his grasp and standing. I blushed when my stomach growled again. Axel gave me a knowing smile.

"I didn't even consider the fact that you might be hungry," he said, getting up. "Forgive me?" I nodded, gripping my stomach again, wishing it'd just be quiet. "Mom brought food yesterday, for the party, and had me keep it when I had everyone leave."

"What'd she make?" I asked, watching him get up and walk toward what I assumed was the kitchen.

"Barbeque pork, I think," he said. "I'll get some for you, so just wait here, okay?" I glanced away, nodding.

I watched him disappear through a doorway, certain that it was the kitchen when I heard the corresponding sounds. I took a mental note of where it was just before sitting on the sofa where Axel had been sleeping, moments ago.

It felt… awkward, just sitting there. A bit anxiously, I played with the hem of my shirt and after what felt like forever, the red-head emerged.

"Be careful," he said handing it to me, "it's hot." I nodded.

"Thanks," I whispered as he sat on the floor, rightly assuming that I didn't want him to sit by me. I didn't say anything, just took a bite, chewing slowly.

"How is it?" he asked.

"Fine," I replied. He nodded before letting me finish in silence. Once I had, I stood, stopping in front of him. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Any time, Rox," he whispered back. "Now get some sleep, okay?" I nodded, more than happy to retreat to the safe-haven also known as the bedroom. Once I'd slipped inside, I locked the door behind me, softly sighing in relief.

I frowned, poking my stomach. "There, happy now?" I asked it. When it remained silent, I assumed that it was. My frown deepened. Now I was more awake. I sighed again, walking to the bathroom. There was something I'd been meaning to do.

I opened the door and found the light with ease, then turned to stare at myself in the mirror. I jumped at the unfamiliar reflection then slowly raised my hand. The corresponding hand for the doppelganger raised and I closed my eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath.

When I reopened my eyes, I lent toward the mirror and studied my face. I was slightly tanned, my hair more blond than it had been- probably from the sun exposure I was sure I'd been getting- was swept to the side and still naturally spiky, and I still had the same ocean blue eyes, framed by golden-blond eyelashes.

I looked more… mature. My face had elongated and was no longer as round, and my cheek bones were more pronounced. But rather than guessing I would have been twenty, I would have thought I was eighteen- partially due to my height.

I closed my eyes again, smiling sadly. I looked a lot like _her_. "… I wonder," I whispered, "Are you in heaven, mother? Watching over me?" My question went unanswered and I opened my eyes, staring at my face for a moment longer before taking off my shirt.

I was thin, but not overly so, with a slight muscular build. I turned. It didn't look like there were any imperfections… not even any excess body fat, save for one. After looking very closely, I saw that there was a faint scar on my upper left arm.

I ran my fingers along it, wondering what it could possibly be from before shrugging it off and continuing my examination.

My hands ran down my sides, pausing at my pantsline before I unbuttoned and unzipped them, pulling down both my pants and boxers, stepping out of them. I stared again, blushing slightly… I was defiantly much more mature. Once I'd gotten over the initial shock, I walked around, naked, watching my reflection and trying to get used to myself.

Once I had, I put my boxers back on then shut off the light and walked back into the bedroom. I went to the bed, which looked very welcoming, and lay down.

--

I sighed, eyebrows furrowing when the sound echoed. "What?" I questioned aloud, the word echoing as well. I closed my eyes and when I reopened them I was surrounded by darkness. My heart began to pound.

It must be a dream, I reasoned. I immediately recalled my near death experience when I saw glowing eyes, panicking. "N-no I can't be dying, there's nothing wrong with me!" I whimpered, closing my eyes as they approached. When nothing happened, I reopened my eyes. They weren't eyes at all… they were two white butterflies.

I blinked when they fluttered around me a few times, as if beckoning me to come with them then they began to fly away. Without thinking, I stood and followed them.

They led me to a door, old and brimming with grandeur, disappearing through it. I went to it and tried to open it but found I couldn't- it was locked.

"Why did you lead me here if I can't go inside?" I asked, voice echoing. "I need a key-" I tried to explain but stopped when one appeared in my right hand. It was black and huge- long enough to be a sword.

Instinctively, I raised it and it emitted a beam of brilliant light, unlocking the door with a clicking sound. I lowered my hand and went inside what seemed to be a mansion.

There was a red-head standing inside, his back to me. "Axel?" I asked. The red-head turned around.

"Guess again," he whispered, smirking. He looked very much like Axel but had blue eyes…

"I don't know you," I replied. "Who are you? Why did you want me to come here?"

"Kind of cold of you, Roxas," he said, approaching me slowly. "Axel _has_ told you so much about me, after all."

I blinked. "What?" The red-head smirked, stopping in front of me.

"Would you like me to unlock your first memory of Axel?" I blinked again.

"You would do that for me?"

"Yes."

"Why?" I asked, confused as he gripped my head.

"Because he loves you," he whispered. I felt my head pulsate horribly where his fingers were and screamed, closing my eyes.

--

I didn't reopen them until my head stopped pounding, and when I did, I saw myself. It looked like I was four or five years old. I was crying… and seemed to be lost and no one else was around or seemed to care. Well… no one until my crying attracted _his_ attention.

I watched as someone with brilliant red hair approached.

"What's the matter?" I heard him say softly.

The younger me looked up, staring into the most vivid green I'd ever seen. The boy, who looked like he was six or seven years older, held out something. "Will this make you feel better?" he asked, giving me a beautiful white flower.

"What is it?" We both asked at the same time, the younger me's tears stopping as mine started, the memory coming back to me.

The red-head's smile widened. "It's a Chrysanthemum," he explained, "a symbol of joy. I saw you crying a while ago, so I picked one for you, hoping it would cheer you up."

I cried harder as the younger version of myself accepted it, smiling widely. "It's beautiful!"

The red-head looked more than happy to see me happy. "I'm glad. Now- what was the matter?" he asked, stopping when I called out to my mother as I saw her, waving to him as I ran for her.

She hugged me tightly and when I glanced back again, the red-head was gone. All that was left was the flower in my hand.

--

I opened my eyes, sitting bolt upright and wiping my eyes. I'd been crying in my sleep.

So. It _had_ been a dream. "What a strange dream," I murmured, wondering all the while if that's all it had been and who the strange red-head with blue eyes was.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Thoughts? Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Special thanks to everyone who reviewed- I write faster when you do.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 5

--

_Last chapter:_

_I opened my eyes, sitting bolt upright and wiping my eyes. I'd been crying in my sleep._

_So. It had been a dream. "What a strange dream," I murmured, wondering all the while if that's all it had been and who the strange red-head with blue eyes was._

--

I glanced at the clock on the end table. It was noon.

I blinked. I really must've been very tired.

I stretched, popping my back, then got out of bed, going to the dresser and searching for a shirt. When I found one, I put it on then went to the door. I needed to find out whether that dream had been a memory or not.

I unlocked the door before opening it slowly and poking my head out. Demyx immediately greeted me. Or you could say… Demyx immediately attacked me.

Said blond shouted my name then ran up to me, hugging me tightly. "Roxas! I heard you remembered me! I'm so happy," He said, wiggling in excitement. I glanced behind him. It looked like there were stacks of photo albums on the coffee table.

"What are those?" I asked, finally slipping out of his grasp.

"Zexion and I want to help you to remember more," he said determinedly, grasping my hand and leading me over to the couch. Great.

"Demyx, stop smothering Roxas," Axel said, frowning. Demyx laughed nervously.

"Sorry, Axe," he said, apologetically.

"Axel," I said, pulling away from Demyx and taking a step toward him. "I need to talk to you." The red-head looked surprised.

"Go ahead," he said, shocked when I approached him further still.

"Alone," I said, quietly. The red-head nodded, comprehending. "Let's go outside," he said, softly. "We'll be back shortly," he told the other two.

--

"How did you sleep?" Axel asked once we'd gotten outside.

"Alright," I said, stopping. He stopped as well.

"What did you need to talk about?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Ask away," he whispered.

"Did you ever give a blond boy, who was maybe four or five years old, a flower when you were twelve or thirteen?" The red-head blinked.

"…How did you know that?"

"What was the flower?" I asked.

"A white Chrysanthemum," he said, eyes locking with mine, before gripping my shoulders. "How did you know that, Roxas?" He asked. I flinched slightly but he didn't back off.

"I dreamt it," I whispered. Axel's eyes widened slightly before he relaxed, gently brushing my bangs out of my eyes and cupped my cheek. He smiled. "You… you really were my first love," he whispered, laughing lightly, clearly shocked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You had to be four or five, I had just turned twelve, and… when I saw you crying there, I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Almost like an angel that had fallen straight from heaven. You made my heart race, and I wanted to do anything I could, just to see you smile."

"That's crazy, we were just kids, how could you feel that way about me?!" I said, stopping when he leaned in closer.

"I don't know, but I did, and I still do," he whispered. I froze as he inched closer, panicking. He was just about to kiss me when his phone went off. He closed his eyes then let go, answering it. "This is a bad time," he said, "Can I call you back?" before hanging up.

"Roxas?" he asked when he saw the slightly panicked look on my face.

"T-thanks for answering my question," I said, beginning to brush past him. He gripped my wrist and I closed my eyes, shaking.

"I'm sorry, for frightening you," he whispered. I glanced back at him.

"Let me go," I whispered back. Axel let go and I went inside.

--

Demyx and Zexion sat on either side of me as we went through the photo albums. They were currently showing me pictures of our wedding.

I was becoming increasingly irritated. It was a colossal waste of time. Nothing was helping and I didn't want to be told about how I felt, about what I liked. I wanted to remember on my own.

"Enough!" I finally said when Demyx reached for another album. I'd been holding it in for a long time.

"Roxas?" Demyx asked.

"I don't want to be told what I liked, what I didn't, every little thing I did! I want to remember on my own, unless I ask for your help!"

"Roxas, please, just one more, maybe it-" Demyx started, stopping when I knocked it out of his hand.

"No!" I said, moving to stand. I froze when I saw that the album had opened wide.

There, right in the middle of the page, was a picture of the red-head with blue eyes that had invaded my dream and made me remember something.

"Who is that?" I asked.

"Who?" Zexion asked.

"The red-head with blue eyes. Who is he?" I said, picking up the album and pointing to him.

"That's my brother, Reno," Axel replied from the doorway. He must've heard my outburst and decided to join us.

"Where is he? I need to talk to him as soon as possible."

"He's dead, Roxas," Axel replied. "The two of you never even met."

"I… what?" I asked, mind reeling. Had I been talking to a ghost last night? This entire situation was becoming weirder and weirder… _Axel's told you so much about me…_ What _did_ I know about him?

"Roxas?" Axel asked, concerned.

I shook my head. "Excuse me," I said, retreating to the bedroom and closing and locking the door behind me.

I lay down on the bed, photo album in hand. "Perhaps we can still talk," I whispered, getting comfortable, concentrating on the red-head and closing my eyes.

--

I opened my eyes and found myself in an unfamiliar room, lying in an unfamiliar bed.

"Reno?!" I called out.

"Welcome back, 'yo," I heard next to me and jumped, eyes widening when I realized that he was lying beside me. My back was to him.

I turned, facing him and he smirked. "I'm disappointed in you Rox-as, you couldn't even remember my name on your own." I frowned.

"Why are you here? You're dead. Why are you invading my subconscious?"

The red-head's smirk widened. "Maybe I _am_ your subconscious. Ever thought of that?"

My eyes narrowed. "If you're my subconscious then why are you choosing to pop up now?"

Reno chuckled. "Maybe I'm not. Maybe I just wanted to meet the boy my brother chose to love."

"If you're a ghost, how is it that I'm seeing you? Have I always seen spirits?" I asked, changing the subject.

"You're aware of what a near death experience is, yes?" I nodded. "Perhaps, it's made you a bit more sensitive to the paranormal."

"Which means…?"

"Spirits can interact with you while you're asleep, if that's what's happening," he whispered back. My eyes widened. "I'm guessing that it's only while you're vulnerable though."

"What?"

"Right now you're lost and confused. Regain your memories and you solve the problem."

"And how do I do that? By gradually remembering Axel, the good times in my life? The bad times?"

"You don't need to remember everything. You'll be fine with the majority of your memories," he said, "Trust me. There are some points in your life that you don't want to remember.

"But-" Reno shook his head.

"Some things are better forgotten."

"So my only option is to be with Axel?" I asked a little bitterly.

"You don't want to?" Reno asked.

"He terrifies me!" Reno sighed.

"No, it's not your only option. Though I _would_ like to see Axel happy."

"What are they?" I asked, stopping when he pressed a finger to my lips.

"I have something important to tell you, before I forget. Avoid anything black or red."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember how the butterflies you saw were white and you just followed them blindly? Those were good… pure. You were lucky. Avoid anything that is red or black. Those spirits… those memories… have bad or malicious intent. In fact, if you see them, run."

I nodded my head slowly. "Good. Now, how about another memory?"

"But- you're not answering my question," I protested. The red-head smirked.

"I know," he said pressing his index finger to my forehead.

My head began to pound, much like last time, and I gripped my head with both hands.

--

This time when I opened my eyes, I saw that I was at a cemetery. Axel was holding my hand as a casket was being lowered into the ground.

I looked like I was maybe sixteen.

I heard myself thank him but didn't catch why, just before I saw myself throw a rose as the casket was swallowed up by the ground. Curious as to who was being buried, I looked at the temporary metal name plate and read the name. Miko Hikari.

I stared at Axel, shocked. He… He'd buried my mother for me? Before we'd gotten married? Were we even dating?!

The red-head remained with me even after everyone had gone. He put an arm around me, asking if I was ready to go, assuring that we could come back as often as I liked. I saw myself nod, just before we drove somewhere in an attempt to take my mind off of things.

--

I opened my eyes, softly cursing at Reno, and my subconscious for good measure, just in case that's what it was, for raising more questions in my mind. I wouldn't doubt my mind trying to rationalize what was happening by saying that I could see dead people.

I glared at the photo album and then threw it on the floor.

I really hoped that it was my mind playing tricks on me. I didn't want to be seeing ghosts, on top of knowing little to nothing about myself.

--

For the next few days, I only came out of the bedroom to eat, not looking at Axel and quickly retreating. If we did talk, we'd fight.

I'd been trying very hard not to sleep, but by the third day, I was exhausted, and as I was taking a bath, passed out.

--

"Long time no see, Rox," the red-head commented before I could even open my eyes. He was wearing a long, hooded, jacket.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled at him. "I don't want to see ghosts, and I don't want my subconscious to play weird games with me if that's what's going on!" Reno sighed and took off his jacket, placing it around my bare shoulders.

"Fine, geez, I just wanted to help and keep you safe."

"Safe? From what?"

"Vexen," the red-head whispered. I involuntarily shivered at the name.

"Who is he?" I asked, remembering Axel's reaction when I didn't remember.

"One of those things better left forgotten."

"I don't want to live in ignorance." Reno smirked.

"Fine, but only if you remember Axel first."

I scoffed at him before waking up.

--

I sighed, opening my eyes. At least Reno… or my subconscious- I still hadn't decided which- was… halfway honoring my wishes.

I got out of the bath, drying off then putting on some clothes, wanting to talk to Axel about what had been happening, walking to the door. Perhaps he could help… and maybe… things would go better than they had been. Maybe.

I unlocked the door, beginning to open it, but stopped when I heard him talking on the phone.

"I just… I don't know what to do, Dem," I heard him say. I could tell that he was crying. "We only talk if he wants to confirm something he remembers, otherwise we fight… He won't even look at me anymore… I feel so helpless…"

I closed my eyes, reclosing the door. Maybe now wasn't the best time…

--

The next morning, I went into the living room. I stopped in front of Axel, who looked like he'd been up all night.

"You look anxious," I commented. The red-head glanced away. "So you are."

"Of course I am, Roxas!" he said, our eyes locking. "God, I'm scared to death… I have no idea of if I'm doing the right things or pushing you away further or…" he started, stopping short when he saw that my eyes were widened. The red-head looked down, refusing to meet my eyes. "I've been thinking," he said.

"About?"

"I… I don't want to lose you, but I also want you to be happy," he replied, obviously trying to keep any emotion out of his face and voice. "I want what's best for you… and I don't think I'm it anymore." I glanced away, processing what he was saying. "So I've made alternate living arrangements for you."

"What?" I asked.

"You're going to be living with Demyx and Zexion," the red-head replied. I looked at his face. It was hard to tell what he was thinking.

"…When?" I asked. Axel bit his lower lip, but other than that, remained the same.

"In two days." I nodded slowly, comprehending, yet unable to fathom how difficult this had to be for him. _It must be so hard… having the one you love not remember you, and not knowing if they ever will…_

"Okay," I whispered guiltily.

--

-TBC-

Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	6. Chapter 6

Rating: **M**

Summary: They said their vows, and promised to be together for forever, but what happens when tragedy strikes and that's no longer the best course of action? _**SEQUEL**_ to Reckoning. Roxas' POV Akuroku.

A/N: -was relatively quick about it :c- No raepage by mansecks plx

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 6

--

_Last chapter:_

"_You're going to be living with Demyx and Zexion," the red-head replied. I looked at his face. It was hard to tell what he was thinking._

"…_When?" I asked. Axel bit his lower lip, but other than that, remained the same._

"_In two days." I nodded slowly, comprehending, yet unable to fathom how difficult this had to be for him. '__It must be so hard… having the one you love not remember you, and not knowing if they ever will…'_

"_Okay," I whispered guiltily._

--

I spent the next few days packing and… also doing my best to avoid a certain red-head. I could tell that he was trying to put up a front and act like he was okay though he was far from it. It made me feel guiltier and guiltier.

--

The day Axel was to drop me off, it was raining. I stared out the window, at the garden, waiting to leave. The sky was gloomy, but it made the colors of the flowers more vibrant. I'd always loved the rain for that reason and because it renewed everything, making it fresh again. My mind began to wander and I closed my eyes, wondering in the back of my mind if Reno would still bother me when Axel and I were apart.

"Roxas?" I heard Axel say softly from behind me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned, looking back at him. "It's time to go."

I nodded slowly, grabbing my bag and heading for the garage, looking at anything but him. I hated seeing how miserable he looked.

We didn't talk for the duration of the car ride. I wasn't going to start a conversation, and was sure Axel wasn't going to. He didn't even try to speak until we reached our destination.

--

"Roxas?" Axel asked once he'd stopped the car, parking in front of Demyx and Zexion's apartment building. The rain was pounding against the windshield.

"Yes?" I whispered, looking at him.

Our eyes locked for an instant then Axel closed his eyes for a long time before taking a deep breath. "Can I kiss you goodbye?" he asked very quietly, reopening his eyes. I felt my heart thud painfully. The red-head looked so… anxious. I felt… so guilty. I took a deep breath before nodding slowly. I hadn't been expecting him to ask at all.

"O-okay," I whispered nervously. What could it hurt?

Axel smiled softly. He looked happier than I could ever remember seeing him, even if his happiness had to be bittersweet. Our eyes locked once again, just before the red-head lent toward me, head slightly tilted to the side. He hesitated, his warm breath ghosting across my lips, making my heart beat faster. Then he gently pressed his lips to mine.

I closed my eyes, tremoring, and hoping this hadn't been a mistake. Axel immediately raised a hand to my cheek, steadying me before slowly parting my lips and teeth with his tongue. I froze, uncertain of what to do. The red-head, on the other hand took control, his tongue slowly brushing against mine, and my heart immediately began to race, my body tingling. Soon he was pulling me closer, deepening the kiss, and I found myself moaning into his mouth.

I gasped, surprised by my own voice, feeling my face heat up and, gripping his shoulders, pushed against him. The red-head didn't stop, merely kissing me more intensely, angling my head in response. My mind went blank and I moaned again, breathing becoming labored, just before he broke the kiss.

I stared at him, eyes half lidded, panting. I knew my face was horribly flushed, and I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, our lips reconnected, and I promptly forgot what it was.

I let the red-head kiss me again, closing my eyes and getting lost until I heard a clap of thunder, accompanied by a flash of lightning and pulled away unexpectedly, startled.

I covered my mouth, frightened when I realized how just how much I'd liked being kissed by him. My lips were still tingling. Hesitantly, I looked up at the red-head. He was watching me carefully. Slowly, I lowered my hand, and our eyes locked. I spoke, determined not to falter. I still hadn't remembered the red-head at all on my own, so leaving was for the best.

"Good-bye, Axel." The red-head's eyes slid shut.

"Good-bye, Roxas," He whispered back, just before I opened the car door, and went out into the pouring rain, walking toward Zexion and Demyx's apartment building.

I was almost there but paused when I heard a car door slam shut.

"Roxas! Wait!" I heard, turning just before arms wrapped around me and Axel hugged me tightly.

"Axel…?" I whispered.

"I don't want you to leave," he said in my ear, voice cracking. He was crying hard. "Please… don't go," he sobbed, _"Please."_

"You'll get _soaked_ of you stay out here."

"I don't care! If it means that it's more time that I can be with you, I don't care!" He continued to grip me, holding me tightly as the rain pelted against us until I spoke again.

"But… don't you hate getting wet?" I whispered. Axel pulled back, immediately taking my face into his hands, eyes widening.

"Wh-what? What did you say?!"

"You hate getting wet, but you danced with me that day," I said softly, heart pounding.

I remembered… waking up to him lying next to me… being so very happy when he said 'happy anniversary'… dancing in the rain… and him screaming my name before my world went black.

"Roxas?" I was crying too. My eyes widened. _I remembered our anniversary._

"Will you dance with me again?" I whispered, my gaze softening.

More tears streamed down the red-head's cheeks and he smiled happily, pulling me into another embrace. He laughed lightly, so happy that I'd remembered something about him. He spun me around before brushing my bangs out of my eyes.

"For as long as you'd like," he whispered back, leaning in dangerously close. When I didn't stop him, he pressed his lips to my forehead, kissing it gently then took off his jacket, putting it around my shoulders.

"Won't you get soaked?" I asked. Axel smiled.

"I don't mind," he whispered back.

"But-" I said, stopping when he pulled me closer.

"Let's dance," he interrupted. I smiled.

"Okay," I whispered.

--

Axel and I didn't stop dancing until we'd become thoroughly soaked and I'd begun to shiver.

It was a magical feeling- the two of us spinning and holding each other closely, only caring about one another, as lightning danced across the sky and thunder boomed in the distance. It was easy to see why I'd loved it so much. "Ready to stop?" he asked, holding me closely. I nodded and looked up, my sapphire locking with his emerald. He smiled down at me fondly momentarily. I felt my heart begin to pound as that look of anxiety reappeared on his face.

"What is it?" I asked softly. He gripped me more tightly.

"Can I take you home with me?" he whispered back. "I won't make you come with me if you don't want to."

I closed my eyes, nodding slowly. Perhaps I was meant to if I'd remembered him like this. My eyes opened wide when he pulled me closer. He was crying again as he hugged me tightly.

"What's wrong?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. "Why are you crying?"

He laughed, shaking his head in response. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just so happy," he replied before pulling back and taking my hand in his.

"Can I take your bag for you?" he asked. I blinked, handing it to him before letting him lead me to the car. The red-head opened the door for me, helping me inside, then put my bag in the back and went around to the driver's side, getting in.

I glanced away, staring at the dashboard once he had.

"What's wrong, Roxas?" he asked.

"What are you going to tell Demyx and Zexion?" I asked quietly. Axel gripped my hand and I glanced at him.

"That I've decided to try to help you remember who you are more." I looked elsewhere.

"You'd really just take me back, even though I wouldn't even speak to you? Even though I made you cry? …Repeatedly…?" Axel gripped my chin, making me look at him.

"Don't _ever_ think for one instant that I wouldn't want you around," he said sternly before his gaze softened.

"Can I ask you something, Rox?" he whispered. I nodded.

"You still don't remember much do you?"

I shook my head. "I've only really remembered Demyx… my first memory of you… my mother's funeral and… our anniversary." He closed his eyes, nodding.

"Then… Can I have a second chance?"

"What?" I asked confusedly, my eyebrows furrowing. Second chance…? What was he talking about? The red-head halfway smiled.

"I want to make you fall in love with me all over again. May I?" he asked softly. I stared into those emeralds for a long time, eyes wide.

"Why would you do that?" I asked, heart pounding. The red-head's smile widened.

"Because I love you." I blinked, cheeks flushing as I nodded slowly.

--

I opened my eyes. Reno was smiling smugly. I blinked, wondering when I'd even fallen asleep.

"What?" I asked. Reno's smile widened.

"I'm just happy that you didn't break his heart," he replied. I paused, looking at him suspiciously. "Yes?" he questioned.

"Convenient that I remembered when I did," I said suspicion rising. Had he been behind it? The red-head approached me, not stopping until he was in front of me.

"That one was solely by chance. I had nothing to do with it."

"What?" I asked, shocked by how the well the timing had worked out. Reno smirked, almost as if he knew what I was thinking.

"Perhaps you're fated to be together," he whispered. I blinked before glancing away, smiling softly as I thought.

"Perhaps."

--

I started, waking as I was covered with a blanket. I blinked in confusion as I returned to consciousness and Axel paused.

"You fell asleep in the car. I didn't want to wake you so I carried you inside," he explained. I closed my eyes, nodding as I stretched. I was still wearing his jacket. For the most part, it'd kept me warm and dry. It was my hair that had gotten soaked.

"Thanks," I whispered. His fingers brushed against my palm before entwining with mine. Emerald locked with my sapphire just before he spoke.

"Not a problem." The red-head gently squeezed my hand before sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'll be sleeping on the couch again if you need me," he whispered. "Do you want me to lock the door for you?" I closed my eyes, nodding slowly. I still didn't feel comfortable having it unlocked because I didn't fully trust him.

"Okay," the red-head whispered, slipping his hand out of mine and heading for the door. I called out his name and he paused, glancing back at me.

"Goodnight," I whispered. He smiled back at me. The action nearly made my heart stop. Now that I wasn't quite so afraid of him, I was beginning to realize… he was quite beautiful.

"Goodnight, my love," he whispered back, locking the door and closing it behind him.

I stared at the door for a long time after he'd gone before falling asleep again, smiling despite myself.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Thoughts? Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	7. Chapter 7

Rating: **M**

A/N: Special thanks to everyone who's giving this a shot. And I'm glad you're all liking it so far.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 7

--

_Last chapter:_

"_Goodnight," I whispered. He smiled back at me. The action nearly made my heart stop. Now that I wasn't quite so afraid of him, I was beginning to realize… he was quite beautiful._

"_Goodnight, my love," he whispered back, locking the door and closing it behind him._

_I stared at the door for a long time after he'd gone before falling asleep again, smiling despite myself._

--

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times, as the sun hit my face, smiling when I realized that I hadn't dreamed. I wasn't particularly fond of seeing Reno every time I fell asleep.

After a few moments, I sat up. Axel's jacket was still clinging to my shoulders. I examined it more closely, running my hand along the soft leather and smiled softly realizing that it smelt like him. I stretched, cracking my back before getting out of bed and walking toward the door.

I unlocked it before glancing out.

I found myself blinking in surprise. The red-head wasn't on the couch- or, as I searched for him, anywhere to be found.

"Axel?" I called, peering inside the kitchen. "Axelll?" I called again, turning when I heard the door to the garage open. The red-head blinked, surprised.

"I didn't think you'd be awake already," he said, smiling sheepishly, before scratching his head. "I'll make you breakfast then I have a surprise for you." I looked at him confusedly before nodding. His smile widened as he passed me, going inside the kitchen.

"Can I help?" I asked. The red-head smiled again.

"Of course," he said. "What would you like to make?" I shrugged.

"I don't know…"

"How about an omelet?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, nodding.

"Okay, why don't you cut up the vegetables you want?" he asked, opening the refrigerator and taking some out, lying them on the cutting board in front of me before going about another task. I picked up a knife, opening my mouth, wanting to ask for help, but closing it when I saw that he was busy.

I looked in front of me at the intimidating vegetables, picking up a green bell pepper before cutting off a piece and beginning to cut it up coarsely. I was about to reach for something else but stopped, gasping when hands gripped my waist. I hadn't even heard the red-head come up behind me.

"Do it like this, Rox," he whispered, taking the bell pepper and cutting off the top, removing the seeds and waste, cutting the remaining part into thin strips. I felt my face heat up when he had me take the knife again then guided my hand as he showed me how to cut. My heart was pounding… and not because I was afraid.

"Good," he whispered when I started to get it.

"T-thanks," I whispered back nervously before grabbing something else.

"Sure," he replied, slipping away.

Once I'd finished cutting, I watched Axel in slight fascination as he made two omelets and knew somewhere deep down that I'd loved to cook. I watched him until he plated the food, handing me the more perfect one. I smiled at the consideration.

"Thank you," I said, resting it on the counter before cutting off a piece with my fork and taking a bite.

"How is it?" he asked.

"Great," I replied, glancing up at him, smiling again before he took a bite of his own.

"I'm glad you showed me how to cook," he whispered. I blinked.

"I did?" The red-head nodded.

"My idea of cooking is takeout, Rox," he said, laughing lightly. My eyes widened slightly but I didn't say anything, taking another bite of food. I smiled slightly as I did. He had the most beautiful laugh I'd ever heard.

"Yes, you'd burn anything and everything you'd attempted," I said without thinking.

"You remembered?" he asked. I paused, my smile widening.

"I suppose so," I whispered.

--

I hadn't really known what to say after remembering something and Axel and I finished eating in relative silence. Once we had, he smiled, looking like he knew the best secret in the world but wasn't about to tell just anybody.

"What?" I asked.

"Up for that surprise?" he asked.

"…Okay," I replied. I gasped in surprise when he eagerly took my hand and led me to the garage.

"Close your eyes and no peeking," he said. I looked at him warily before complying.

I heard the door open just before he led me outside. We walked for a good while and I allowed him to lead me until he stopped. "Okay, open your eyes," he whispered, stepping to the side. I opened my eyes, gasping in surprise.

There, surrounded by chrysanthemums, was what looked like an outdoor tent with a fancy metallic frame. It could zip closed and had what looked like the option for netting or heavy fabric, depending on how closed off someone would want it.

Inside, on the ground, there was a large rug, and on top of that, a full bed with a metallic frame, equipped with a white bedspread and pillows. Hanging from the ceiling was a fancy chandelier with shining crystals dangling from it.

I looked back at him. "What is this…?" The red-head smiled slyly.

"Your anniversary gift," he replied. "Since you spend the bulk of your time in the garden, I thought I'd get you a day bed. The tent's for protection against the elements. And if you don't want to be completely closed off, but there are a lot of bugs, you can just close the screen."

"…How much did this cost? When did you even put it together?" I asked. The red-head smiled.

"This morning while you were asleep, since it stopped raining and was dry enough. The rug's actually under a cement slab that I'd had laid weeks ago while you were visiting Demyx so you don't have to worry about it getting dirty. Do you like it?" I frowned as he avoided my first question then nodded. I couldn't help but smile. He was so thoughtful.

"Very much so."

"Why don't you try it out then?" he asked. My smile widened then I took his hand, making him look surprised, before leading him inside the closed in area.

"Help me close the netting so the bugs don't get in, please," I said, beginning to close the two I was nearest to as Axel closed the other two. As I did, I saw that there was also a curtain that you could pull that was on the inside, just in case the screen had already been shut. I turned on the light then drew them and beheld the sight.

"I think…," I said, taking off my shoes and then lying on the bed. It was very comfortable, "That you did an excellent job." The red-head smiled.

"I'm pretty good at assembling," he replied. I nodded.

"Thank you," I said, though I was sure that I would've appreciated it more, had I remembered more. Axel nodded.

"It was nothing," he said. The red-head seemed to be keeping a safe distance. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Really… he seemed very sweet and I didn't feel like I was being fair to him.

"You can lie down if you want to," I whispered. When nothing happened for a few moments, I opened my eyes. He looked like he was more than surprised. Shocked even. "What's wrong?" I asked.

Axel blinked before sitting on the bed. "Are you sure you want that? A few days ago," he said, glancing at me, our eyes locking, "You would have tried to bite me for getting this close." I glanced away, flushing from guilt.

"I'm… trying harder… I want to let you in. And I'm really sorry about how I acted before." The red-head smiled then began to take off his shoes.

"Don't apologize, Rox," he said, lying down beside me and facing me, "I was just double checking and I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. That was the last thing on my mind."

I nodded slowly and we lay there for a few moments of silence before I spoke again. "Will you close your eyes?" I asked. There was something I'd been wanting to do.

Axel gave me a confused look. "Please?" I whispered. The red-head closed his eyes, making me smile. Then, slowly, I raised a hand, gently touching his face as I observed him up close. The red-head's delicate eyebrows furrowed slightly as my hand traced his features, pausing at his lips before my thumb ran across them.

"Do you think you'll ever love me again?" he asked quietly, interrupting me. My eyes widened at the question then my gaze softened as those emeralds greeted me. I slipped my hand down to his neck, resting it there.

"You're off to a great start," I whispered back.

"Really?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yeah," I whispered back. "You're really sweet, considerate, thoughtful… and… you're beautiful," I said, mumbling the last word as my face flushed. He seemed to catch it anyway and smirked.

The red-head sat up slightly, leaning over me, bending closer. "I was going to wait to ask but," He whispered, face mere inches from mine, making my heart pound wildly, "Can I kiss you, Roxas?" he asked.

"Just kiss?" I whispered, heart beating even faster.

"If that's all you want," he whispered back. When I didn't answer right away, he lent even closer and I thought my heart was going to stop. "You can say no," he whispered, though I knew he knew that he had me. I swallowed then breathed the word he wanted to hear, immediately getting his lips pressed to mine.

I closed my eyes, apprehensively relaxing my jaw. He immediately slipped his tongue inside my mouth and gripped me more tightly, delving in deeper and blowing me away. Our tongues clashed again and again, as if he were urging me to participate. Hesitantly, I did.

I gripped his shoulders without thinking, pulling him closer until our bodies crashed together, needing to feel his body against mine. I arched my back, moaning into his mouth just before he broke the kiss.

I stared up at him, eyes half lidded and panting, desperately trying to catch my breath. I made a small noise of surprise when his lips engulfed mine once again, feeling myself melt as he deepened the kiss. He didn't pull away until he needed to breathe, biting my lower lip as he pulled back before our lips crashed together for a third time.

He broke the kiss once I'd moaned into his mouth for a second time then smiled before pausing for a long time, staring at me longingly. "I should stop," he whispered, closing his eyes and burying his face into the crook of my neck, "Before I lose my self control," he mumbled.

I swallowed, throat dry as he lay on top of me. I knew what he meant by that statement but I still wanted more. The way that he kissed me… was addictive. He was like a drug that I didn't want to quit. At the same time, I was afraid because my body was reacting to him on its own, far too quickly. I was burning up- everywhere.

"I'm scared," I whispered. The red-head tensed at the statement, "But I don't want you to stop either." Axel raised himself, looking down at me. His pale face was framed by those fiery locks and those vivid green eyes were boring into mine. He looked as if he were contemplating what to do. I halfway smiled up at him. He was being considerate yet again.

"Axel," I whispered.

"Yes?" he asked. I took a deep breath.

"Kiss me," I said softly. He gently touched the side of my face.

"But then I'll want you more," he whispered back. I felt my heart pound and he lent ever-so-slightly closer. "And I won't do anything else until you love me."

"But-" I started, stopping when our lips locked for a fourth time that day. I felt my face flush when I made a noise of protest as he pulled away far too soon.

"Lust isn't love, Rox," he whispered before pulling back and sitting up.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he began to put on his shoes. He smiled back at me.

"Enjoy the gift, my love," he whispered, leaving me without answering my question.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Sorry it's been a while guys. I'm trying to update quickly for you- but I've got several stories and other things going on.

Anyway, Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks~


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. I hope you enjoy the chapter~

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 8

--

_Last chapter:_

"_Lust isn't love, Rox," he whispered before pulling back and sitting up. _

"_Where are you going?" I asked as he began to put on his shoes. He smiled back at me._

"_Enjoy the gift, my love," he whispered, leaving me without answering my question._

--

I gripped the sheets as he closed the tent.

"But…" I whispered aloud, "What _is_ love? How will I know what it feels like?" I closed my eyes, turning onto my side and wishing for the first time since I'd gotten home that he was still beside me.

--

I smiled bitterly, reopening my eyes, knowing that I had to be dreaming. For starters- the scenery was different.

"Hello, Reno," I said softly, not even bothering to turn around.

"What's the matter, yo'?" He asked. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before glancing back at him. He'd sounded far too smug.

"_Nothing_. I'm just _peachy keen_," I said, glaring. Reno smirked, sitting next to me. "Go away. I don't want to remember anything right now."

"Maybe I'm just here to talk to you."

"Maybe I don't want to talk," I said coldly, looking away. "Maybe I want to forget." I frowned when he gripped my shoulder.

"Hey," he said softly. "Axel's in the right, y'know. You _barely_ remember anything about him, so you can't be in _love_ with him. He doesn't deserve false hope."

"I know," I whispered, only halfway surprised that he knew what was going on. "I guess I'm… sulking… because he just up and left," I admitted.

"Have you considered that maybe he's more confused than you are and still doesn't know how to act around you?" My eyes widened.

"…No," I whispered, barely saying the word. Reno smiled sadly.

"Why don't you go to him?"

--

I opened my eyes slowly, realizing I was still outside, sprawled out on the bed. I was lying on my arm and glanced at my left hand, staring at the rings on my finger. They were glistening brilliantly. Really, they were beautiful…

I smiled softly. "The day we were married, right at this spot, he surprised me with a second ring," I whispered, staring at that ring, remembering how surprised I had been and how happy he'd looked. I closed my eyes, trying to remember more about that distant day.

I saw how it had looked, how I'd blown the red-head away as I'd walked toward him, a bouquet of white Chrysanthemums in hand, sitar music ending as I stopped, and the things we'd promised one another, smiling slightly…

I opened my eyes wide, realizing that I'd remembered something. And not just _something_- it was our wedding, feeling horribly guilty.

I turned onto my back, staring up at the ceiling, supposing that Reno was right. Chances were- Axel _didn't_ know how to act around me. And I didn't blame him in the slightest. One day I was horribly distant- the next, far too friendly.

I sighed then sat up, putting on my shoes and turning off the light before exiting the tent quickly, needing to find the red-head, wondering if it was too late to make up for it. I paused when I saw the flowers in the garden. Smiling, I and examined them, an idea coming to mind and I decided to pick some.

He'd gotten me a gift, after all, and I wanted to return the gesture.

--

I opened the garage door, peering into the house.

Not seeing the red-head anywhere, I snuck inside, moving as quietly and quickly as possible, checking rooms as I went. Finally, I peered into the kitchen. Axel must've been doing dishes, I concluded, seeing that he was putting them away.

"Axel," I whispered. The red-head jumped, nearly dropping a plate before staring back at me in surprise.

"Roxas?" he asked, "I didn't even hear you come in."

I smiled and approached him. "You weren't supposed to," I whispered as I stopped in front of him. His eyes widened ever so slightly. "I have a surprise for you too," I continued.

"A surprise?" He asked, looking dumbfounded.

"Yeah," I whispered, taking his hand and tugging, "A surprise. Come with me."

Axel gripped my hand, allowing me to lead him and I did, only stopping when I reached the door to the garage. Then, I turned around, my eyes locking with those emeralds. "Close your eyes," I whispered. Once he'd done as I'd asked, I opened the door, leading him inside. "Wait here," I said softly, walking around the car and retrieving the bundle I'd made.

I walked up to the red-head, stopping in front of him and smiling up at him. "Okay, open your eyes," I whispered. Axel opened his eyes then gasped lightly.

"Flowers from your garden?" He asked. I nodded and he smiled widely.

I'd made him a bouquet out of stargazing lilies and white roses held together by a yellow ribbon I'd found in the garage. After doing some investigating, I'd found tons of it all in different shades. I held out the flowers and Axel took them, smile widening.

"I see that you rediscovered your workshop," he said, noticing the ribbon, "As well as one of your hobbies." I looked at him confusedly and he elaborated. "You love making bouquets, so that area over there," he said, gesturing to a counter along the wall next to the door, "Is yours."

There were cupboards above it and a basket with a pair of scissors in it on the counter. "I believe you keep all of the ribbon in the cupboards."

"Guess I did," I whispered, staring at them for a long moment. His impossibly wide smile widened and I couldn't help but return the smile. He looked so happy.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Can I ask though, why the flowers?"

"You're welcome," I said. I nodded slowly in response to his question. "I can't remember what I was going to do for you for our anniversary… and since you got me a gift, I wanted to do something for you. Do you like them?"

Axel hugged them tightly. "I love them," he whispered gleefully. "Wait here," he said before slipping inside, closing the door behind him. I blinked then leaned back against the car for a good while, patiently waiting for him to come back. When he did, I noticed that he had the car keys in his hand.

"Where did you go?" I asked. The red-head smiled.

"I put the flowers into a vase so they wouldn't die." I nodded, just before he unlocked the car.

"Where are we going?"

"I thought you'd like some ice cream," he said, gripping my hand, smiling. I blinked, halfway surprised that he was doing something nice for me yet again.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why… ice cream?" I shook my head.

"Why are you being so nice to me…?" I asked, "Why have you _been_ so nice and considerate and-" I started, stopping when he leaned against the car, closing his eyes.

"Because," he whispered, "I love seeing your eyes light up and the look of pure joy that comes across your face when you're happy." I felt my face flush and quickly looked to the side.

"I uhm…" I said, flushing more deeply, "I-I'm sure there's a shop in town, why don't we walk?" I suggested, glancing at the red-head. I immediately regretted it, remembering what'd happened last time we'd walked when he cringed. I looked away. "Uhm, sorry…" Axel nodded, accepting the apology and I allowed him to lead me around the car and open the door for me. He helped me inside and I thanked him just before he shut the door.

I fastened my seatbelt then closed my eyes, leaning back. I halfway smiled when I heard the car door open and glanced at him as he got situated. He looked at me and our eyes locked. "I just don't want you to get hurt again," he whispered.

"Understandable," I replied. He smiled at me before hitting a button and opening the garage door.

"I'm glad for that. I'd hate to have you angry with me."

--

Axel took me to an ice cream parlor. It was huge and grand and looked like it had décor from a past decade, purposefully of course. I smiled happily as we went inside the glass doors.

"What do you think you want?" He asked as we approached the counter. I paused, looking at the options.

"What about… chocolate?"

"Changing it up from your usual, Roxas?" the boy behind the counter asked. I blinked and Axel looked nervous.

"What's my usual?"

"Sea-salt ice cream, soft serve, in a cup," he said smiling pleasantly.

I stared at the brown-haired boy… He looked so familiar. I glanced at his nametag. His name was Sora. "I… I know you," I said, "You were at the wedding."

He paused to think then smiled widely, "Yeah, and I caught the bouquet," he said laughing lightly, "Though you see me every time you get ice cream too," he said, laughing harder. I laughed too.

"I suppose I probably do," I whispered. "Alright, I'll have the usual instead," I said, excited to try it for the first time.

"Me too," Axel said.

"Is it still your favorite?" I asked him as the brunette completed our order. He nodded, smiling down at me. When Sora returned with our ice cream, I thanked him as Axel paid.

"How's Riku doing?" I asked. Sora laughed again.

"Great," he said. "Guess what they say about bouquets at weddings is true," showing me his left hand, "We got engaged last week."

"Congratulations," I said happily.

"Thanks, Roxas. You'll have to come to the wedding."

"Of course," I said. "I'll look forward to it."

Axel picked up the ice cream as I said goodbye, waving to the brunette. The red-head chose a booth near the back and I sat across from him. He was smiling.

"It's good to see that you're remembering people," he said softly as I tried the ice cream. It was… delicious. I could see why I'd loved it.

"Yeah," I said returning the smile.

"When did you remember our wedding?" he asked softly. Our eyes locked and I fidgeted with the zipper to his coat. Something about this place felt so familiar. I couldn't quite place it or my sudden onset of nervousness.

"Well, uhm, just before I gave you the flowers," I said softly. He gripped my hand from under the table and my eyes widened slightly, blushing.

"Why so nervous?" I shrugged, glancing away.

"Idunno. It's just… This feels familiar… like a first date or something…" Axel glanced around then laughed. I looked at him confusedly and he laughed harder.

"I'm sorry," he said, trying to catch his breath, "It's just… I didn't realize until now but this is where we had our first date. In this exact booth." I blinked then smirked as that day came to mind.

"Yeah," I said, smiling slyly, "I'm glad that you didn't get me one of everything this time." His eyes widened. "Though I'm certain Sora would've thought you were sweet and romantic and wouldn't have looked at you like you were daft like the last person did." He squeezed my hand and I looked up at him, our eyes locking.

"You remembered," he whispered happily. I squeezed his hand back.

"Yeah," I whispered back. His smile widened. "Let's eat our ice cream and then go home." Axel nodded and I let my hand slip out of his before taking another bite.

--

It wasn't long before Axel and I found ourselves in the car, driving home.

I'd closed my eyes and had been leaning back for quite a while. The red-head must've thought I'd fallen asleep because he gripped my hand. I smiled slightly then I gripped his hand back, squeezing gently and our fingers entwined.

I opened my eyes, glancing up at him. "Thanks for the ice cream," I whispered. He smiled down at me, squeezing my hand back.

"You're welcome," he whispered back. "Thanks for letting me take you out." I nodded.

"Can we do it again tomorrow?" Axel's smile widened.

"Of course."

--

By the time we'd gotten home it was already dark. I glanced up at Axel as he led me inside the house, frowning when his hand slipped out of mine as we went into the living room. He sat on the couch and looked up at me as I approached him.

"Were you going to go to bed…? Or…" I shook my head.

"Can I stay out here with you?" I asked.

"For a while," he replied, patting the spot next to him. "Then I have to sleep- I need to get up early," he said apologetically. I nodded then sat next to him, gripping the cushion and staring at the floor, unsure of what to do or say.

"Did you have fun today?" He asked to break the silence.

"Hm?" I asked, looking at him. "Oh. Yes." We fell into another long silence before I leaned back.

"Axel?"

"Yes?"

"How old are you?" I asked, genuinely curious. His eyes widened slightly.

"Right… you wouldn't remember," he muttered. "I'm twenty-six," He said nervously, as if he were expecting me to dislike it. "There's six years and roughly eight months between us."

"Really?" I asked. He nodded. I blinked.

"You only look three years older than me, tops," I said. The statement made him seem to be more at ease.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," I said nodding. "I would've never guessed." He halfway smiled then yawned. I smiled sadly, remembering what he'd said and that he'd gotten up early for me too. "Hey, I'll let you sleep," I whispered.

"But," he protested, stopping when I gripped his hand.

"Don't argue," I whispered back, shaking my head, "You said yourself that you needed to wake up early." He frowned, closing his eyes.

"That I did," he said sullenly.

"And Axel," I said softly as I stood.

"Yes?" he asked opening his eyes just as I lent in and pressed my lips to his. Our lips locked together innocently for a long moment.

"Thanks again- I had fun today," I whispered, pulling away slowly. "Goodnight," I said softly, smiling at his look of shock. The red-head smiled softly just before I turned, beginning to walk away.

I walked toward the bedroom, smiling all the while, going into the room and closing the door behind me. And for the first time, I didn't lock the door.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	9. Chapter 9

Rating: **M**

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. I hope you enjoy the chapter~

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 9

--

_Last chapter:_

"_Thanks again- I had fun today," I whispered, pulling away slowly. "Goodnight," I said softly, smiling at his look of shock._

_I walked toward the bedroom, smiling all the while, going into the room and closing the door behind me. And for the first time, I didn't lock the door._

_--_

A month passed and, during that time, I found myself warming up to Axel more and more, unable to help it.

Really, he was amazing- sweet, kind, funny, gorgeous, and I was wondering… if maybe it was possible that… I'd fallen for him. I had no way of knowing for sure. All I knew was- every time he approached me, I'd feel horribly nervous and that my heart would begin to pound and when he was away from me he was all I could think about. Soon he was all I really cared about and I didn't care if I'd remember my past or not. I'd decided that I'd be okay either way.

Axel had taken me out for ice cream at least once a day, every day, all month. I'd seen Reno less and less and my progress at remembering things had dramatically declined. One day after we got back from eating ice cream, I poked my stomach then pouted up at him.

"What is it?" The red-head asked.

"Stop taking me out for ice cream so much," I said, opening the door to the bedroom and walking inside. "It's making me fatter." Axel frowned and stepped into the room for the first time since the day he'd brought me home for good. He'd gotten some clothes, but otherwise hadn't entered. I'd guessed that he was trying to create a space where I felt safe.

"You're not fat," he replied, frowning more deeply as he said it aloud.

"Yes I am-" He gripped my shoulders and pressed me against the wall.

Leaning in close, he whispered, _"No, you're not._ _You're perfect."_

My eyes widened slightly when he didn't stop and his lips brushed against mine. My heart began to pound. We hadn't kissed since the first day he'd taken me out for ice cream. He froze for a moment when his phone began to ring and I felt disappointed. It was pretty obvious that he was going to stop.

Once that moment was over, however, he kissed me with full force, ignoring his phone. I closed my eyes, trembling as his tongue slipped into my unresisting mouth, clashing with mine and he pressed against me, angling his head and deepening the kiss as he did. I felt my face flush horribly as he kissed me thoroughly, moaning into his mouth just before he pulled back, breaking the kiss.

I looked up at him, eyes half lidded then gripped either side of his face so he couldn't go anywhere. I'd been waiting for him to make a move ever since I'd last kissed him. I smiled softly and, craning my neck, I leant toward him until we were barely an inch apart, but stopped when his phone began to ring again. I closed my eyes, frowning.

"Do you need to answer that?" I asked. Axel pulled away, reached into his back pocket then opened his phone before closing it, purposefully hanging up on whoever it had been and turning it off. I watched as he approached me, heart pounding.

"No," he whispered. I smiled, gripping his shoulders and pulling him closer, standing on my toes and returning his kiss. His arms wrapped around me as I broke the brief kiss, and he closed the space between us for a third time. I gasped when he picked me up just before he threw me onto the bed roughly and crawled on top of me, straddling me.

I looked up at him, panting. My heart was pounding wildly and just when I was beginning to wonder what he'd do next, he kissed me again, completely taking my breath away. I gasped his name as he pulled back, desperately trying to catch my breath. The red-head kissed me again and again and I kissed him back, encouraging him, wanting him to lose control.

I made a noise of protest as he pulled his lips away from mine, and I bit my lower lip, frustrated because I was certain that he was going to stop. He pleasantly surprised me when he lent back down, kissing me once again before working his way over to my ear. Teeth grazed my earlobe and I moaned loudly when his tongue began to explore, blushing deeply. I started to shake, panting and losing control over my body as he continued and allowing him to work his way down my neck.

I gripped his fiery hair, tremoring and pulling him closer as something warm and wet ran down my neck and he began to bite and suck harshly at my skin. I trembled when that hot tongue ran across the places he'd bitten. Then as unexpectedly as he'd started, he stopped, realizing what he was doing.

I watched Axel as he sat up, still straddling me, and ran a hand through his hair. "Damn it all. I'm doing it again," he whispered. I stared up at him, still trying to catch my breath. He must've been restraining himself for a long time. "I'm sorry, I'll leave," he said, starting to get off. I gripped his wrists.

"P-please," I finally managed, staring into widened emeralds, "Don't leave me."

"Rox… it's so hard for me to be around you sometimes." I looked him questioningly. "I see you and I want to hold you, I want to kiss you," he said, leaning closer, _"I want to love you." _I felt my face flush ever so slightly.

"So do it," I whispered back.

"But you don't love me- not like you used to." I scoffed up at him.

"So you're waiting for me to remember everything?" I asked. He bit his lower lip. "What if I don't? What if I _never_ remember everything? What if the Roxas you knew is _gone?!" _Axel closed his eyes, as mine welled up with tears and there was a long silence. "Would you still love me?" I whispered, beginning to cry. "_Do_ you still love me?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

Axel freed one of his hands and touched the side of my face, leaning toward me further. "Of course I do. Roxas… I will love you until the day I die and then much, _much_ longer," he whispered. The red-head wiped away my tears with his thumbs just before I cried harder. "Please don't cry," he whispered, kissing me slowly, I calmed as he did, closing my eyes as he pulled away.

"Please don't go," I whispered, "_Please_."

"Why not? Why don't you want me to go?"

"Because when you're gone, I miss you horribly and I think about you all the time and I... just I want you to be with me. It's not fair that you won't because I don't 'love' you yet. I don't even know what love is!" I said, going quiet momentarily.

"But I… I know that I… I want to be with you," I whispered, "So badly it hurts sometimes. I think you're amazing… kind, sweet, thoughtful, brilliant…" I stopped, opening my eyes when he touched my cheek. He was smiling down at me. "…What?" I whispered. He looked as happy as he had when I'd given him flowers.

"Okay," he whispered. I felt my heart beat faster.

"O-okay?"

"Yes," he whispered. "I'll stay with you." I smiled up at him happily and he made a small noise of surprise when I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you," I murmured into his skin.

"Roxas?" he whispered, raising himself.

"Yes?" I asked as he brushed my bangs out of my eyes. He was smiling down at me.

"I love you, and I always will," he whispered. My eyes widened slightly, "I'm sorry if I was expecting too much from you."

"Don't worry about it."

"But-"

"I can understand why you'd want things to be 'normal'," I whispered. He smiled again, those beautiful green eyes gazing into my cerulean for a long time.

"Rox?" he asked, continuing when I hummed, "Can I hold you, like I used to?" I blinked up at him, heart pounding.

"Yes," I whispered. The red-head shifted, getting off and lying in what I assumed was his respective place in the bed. I sat up, looking at him for a few moments, uncertain of what to do. He propped himself up on his elbows, watching me closely.

"It's okay, you can come here," he whispered. Slowly, I crawled toward him. Axel nodded encouragingly. "Good, now settle in between my legs," I did as he said and he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer until my head was resting against his chest.

"Like this?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him as he lay down.

"Yes," he whispered. "Perfect." I smiled as his other arm wrapped around me, immediately feeling at ease. I closed my eyes, gripping him more tightly.

"I like this," I whispered.

"I'm glad," Axel whispered back. I instinctively snuggled closer and felt him relax under me.

--

I opened my eyes, glancing up and jumping when I saw Reno lying next to me. Once I'd calmed, I smiled.

"Hey Reno," I said happily, "How've you been?" An eyebrow rose.

"Well aren't you just happy and _snuggly_," he replied sharply. I blinked.

"Did I… Did I do something wrong?" I asked. He glared.

"No, _obviously_ not. You're doing just _perfectly_, aren't you?" I blinked before scoffing at him and sitting up.

"What the hell? I thought you'd be happy that things were getting better between us! Instead you're acting like you're jealous-"

"Of course I'm fucking jealous!" He yelled, interrupting me. He'd sat up as well and I gasped in surprise, flinching when he straddled me, pinning me down. "Want to know why?" he whispered, frowning down at me. I swallowed, throat dry.

"Why?" I asked, barely whispering the word.

"Because I loved him first, and wasn't even his first love. _You_ were. And now _you_ get to be with him and he gets to be with _you_," he whispered back. My eyes widened and I wasn't sure of what to say or who exactly he was jealous of...

"Did he… uhm, return your feelings?" I asked, heart pounding, terrified.

"For a while," Reno whispered.

"N-no," I whispered in denial, covering my mouth and shaking my head.

"It's true- or would you rather me unlock that memory for you too?" I stared up at him, shaking as I whispered no. He smirked down at me, a look I'd never seen before on his face. It was scaring me way too much.

"What I should have done," he whispered, bending toward me, "Is gained your trust and made you fall in love with me first," laughing lightly. I stared up at him, heart pounding. "But then again," he whispered, "Maybe it's _not_ too late," he whispered, gripping my wrists.

"W-what are you talking about?" I whispered back.

"You like it when Axel kisses you, right?" he whispered. I stared up at him, nodding slowly. His smirk widened and I felt my heart thump faster, almost like it stop, pressing back as he invaded my personal space. "Who do you think schooled him in that subject matter?" he whispered in my ear. I froze, eyes opening wider yet, as something warm and wet carefully traced my ear before running along the inner shell, exploring. I moaned despite myself, face flushing.

The red-head smirked down at me and I glared up at him. "If you think I'll ever love you, you've got another thing coming," I bit back, understanding fully what Axel'd meant when saying 'lust isn't love'.

"Oh?" he whispered, "We'll see," he said bending back down. I struggled under him.

"No!" I yelled, mind reeling. He gripped my hair and I felt my eyes well up with tears.

"I'm not asking for permission," he whispered back, kissing me forcefully. I writhed against him, trying to get him off but he was too strong and soon the red-head deepened the kiss. He pulled back, biting my lower lip as he did before delving back in.

Eventually, I stopped fighting, lying docile and Reno freed my wrists, hands beginning to explore. I gripped either side of his face and he pulled back slightly. I whispered his name, giving him that half lidded stare that I'd give Axel, as I took a few deep breaths and he smirked, clearly thinking he had me.

"Yes?" I balled my hands into fists, punching him in the face with my left.

"I love Axel!" I yelled at him, sitting up. "I _married_ Axel and I'm going to _be_ with Axel. No one is going to stop me and no one is going to _touch_ me but _Axel!_" He stared up at me in slight awe and fascination then smiled widely as if returning to his senses.

"Good," he whispered.

"I- what?" I asked, staring.

"I was _testing_ you," he replied, sitting up. I only halfway believed him.

"So… that stuff you said… about loving Axel?"

"It's true," he whispered. I stared harder. "You accepted him when he told you, though he promised me he wouldn't tell anyone, just so you know." I nodded dumbly. An awkward silence ensued.

"Why were you 'testing' me?" I asked, wary, covering my mouth. I wouldn't be trusting him for a long time.

"Partially because I love him- I've tested every lover he's had. And only you have proved to me that you deserve to be with him." _Partially?_

"…What do you mean?"

"No one's ever said 'no' before," he whispered. I covered my mouth.

"Oh God… Poor thing," I murmured. Not only was he cheated on but it was his _brother_ who stole his lovers away.

"Roxas?" Reno asked. I jumped when I saw how close he'd gotten. "I'm sorry about the things I said," he whispered. "Axel's lucky to have found you."

"Lucky?"

"Yeah- I've always been jealous. You're intelligent, beautiful," he said, leaning in closer with each point, "_virtuous_," he whispered. I narrowed my eyes.

"You're not sorry for the things you _did_, are you?" The red-head halfway smirked and I pushed him back. "If you think for one second I'm going to cheat on Axel, you've got another thing coming." His smirk softened to a smile.

"I approve of you. Tell him that if you get the chance to." I raised an eyebrow.

"What the…? You're acting really weird." Reno laughed lightly.

"Next time, I'll behave if you forgive me, promise."

"…Okay," I whispered, just wanting to wake up.

--

I opened my eyes, realizing that the sun was shining and that Axel's arms were still wrapped around me, still confused as hell. Was Reno jealous of me… or Axel?

"Next time…" I murmured. "_God_ I hope not," wishing with all my might that I wouldn't dream again for a _long_ time.

"What?" I heard, eyes widening.

"A-Axel," I stammered. "How long have you been awake?"

"For a while now," he replied. "I didn't have it in my heart to wake you." I sat up.

"O-oh. S-sorry," I mumbled.

"Rox? What's wrong?" He asked, propping himself up and looking genuinely concerned.

"I uh," I said, smiling nervously, "It's nothing really, just a bad dream." He watched me closely, studying me long and hard. I crawled on top of him further. "Don't worry about me. Please," I whispered.

"You know you're making me more suspicious, right?" I felt my cheeks flush and he sighed before brushing my bangs out of my eyes. "Just… tell me when you're ready, okay?" I nodded.

"Okay." He sat up, smiling at me.

"Go ahead and get ready," he whispered, "I want to take you somewhere today."

"Somewhere?" His smile widened.

"Yeah. Somewhere."

"Why won't you tell me?" I asked, halfway pouting. He laughed.

"Because it's a surprise," he said, gripping my waist. I blushed and he smiled again just before resting his chin on top of my head.

"Alright," I said softly, "in a little bit."

"Why not now?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"Because," I whispered back, "I want you to hold me in your arms for just a little longer." The red-head gripped me more tightly, wrapping his arms around me and I did the same.

"Alright," he whispered. I closed my eyes, smiling.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Sorry if you didn't like it but, I couldn't resist tying Reno's behavior to his behavior in Reckoning. And if you're wondering, along with it being in his nature to steal Axel's lovers because he loves the red-head, he's developed a bit of a crush on Roxas too. All in all he's battling with that and wanting Axel to be happy.

Anyway; Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: It's been a while! Did you miss me? :P I was in Canada for a little over a week o: and before that, stranded at a friend's house, haha; (If you can't tell.. I'm pretty glee-filled. Why? No clue!)

Happy new year, everyone ^^; (late) and I hope you all had a merry Christmas :]

I was writing a fic for xmas but yeah… it'll be late (obviously).

Anyhow, enjoy the update :D

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter: 10

--

I got ready quickly, showering and then getting dressed, not wanting to make Axel wait. When I stepped out of the bedroom, I saw him sitting on the couch, waiting for me.

"Hey Rox," he said, making me smile.

"Hi," I replied, whispering the word as I approached him. He returned my smile when I sat next to him.

"I'm ready to go if you are," I said, glancing at him after we'd just sat for a few moments.

"We're waiting for Demyx and Zexion," he replied. I blinked.

"Demyx and… why?" Axel laughed lightly at the incredulous look I gave him.

"Because they're coming with us." I nodded slowly, disappointed. I'd been hoping we'd get to be alone. "I think it's good for you to interact with other people," he said. I nodded again, frown deepening as I stared at the floor. "Does that upset you?" I felt my eyes widen just before the doorbell rang. It _did_ upset me.

"We should answer the door."

"Don't avoid my question, Roxas," Axel replied, gripping my hand. I hesitated then glanced up at him.

"Yes. It upsets me." The red-head blinked.

"Why?"

"Because you didn't even ask me and you're assuming what's best for me and," I said, pausing, "I want to spend more time with _you_."

Axel smirked. "I didn't say we wouldn't go our separate ways after a point." I stared at him.

"I… what?" I asked, piecing things together. "You… You tricked me into admitting that I want to be with you!" Axel's smirk widened and he leant closer.

"Because it makes me happy to hear you say it." I blinked then smiled, registering what he was saying in my mind.

"Axel," I said softly, inching closer, slowly whispering the words that came next, "I want to spend time with you." The red-head brightened and I couldn't help but smile widely.

"Well, it's a good thing you're stuck with me then," he whispered back I laughed lightly, pausing when a hand touched my cheek just before lips gently brushed against mine. I jumped, pulling back when the doorbell rang again. I glanced at him when he grasped either side of my face. "Allow me one more moment?"

"It… it's rude to make our guests wait," I whispered. I knew I wouldn't want him to stop if he started something. Axel sighed lightly, ruffling my hair before standing as he murmured an _I guess_. I gripped his hand. "Are you mad?" The red-head smiled, pulling me up.

"Never."

"Have I ever made you angry..?" I asked. The red-head paused.

"By degrading yourself- thinking you're not good enough. I don't believe that that's entirely your fault though so I can't get too mad at you for it."

"…why do you think that?" The red-head smiled sadly.

"Your home life, growing up." I nodded, thinking of my father.

"Do you get angry easily?" I asked, curious. The red-head laughed lightly.

"I suppose it depends on the person I'm dealing with."

"Did you get angry with Reno? Is that why you stopped loving him?" I asked, wondering if I was crossing the line. The red-head studied me.

"You… you remembered that?" he asked carefully.

"I…" I replied just before the doorbell began to ring repeatedly. Axel's left eyebrow seemed to twitch in annoyance before he took out his cell phone, dialing a number.

"Demyx," he said calmly, when the person he was trying to reach answered the phone, "I realize that my doorbell is very shiny and fascinating as well but please _refrain_ from ringing it repeatedly and _sit_ in the car. We'll be out in a moment." Demyx said something that I couldn't hear but due to Axel's expression, I could tell that he didn't find the comment to be amusing at the moment. "No, I'm not molesting, nor was I about to rape Roxas. Now go sit in the car," he commanded before hanging up. The red-head sighed before running a hand through is hair and giving me his attention once again.

"I never told you what happened in detail. How did you know that?"

"…you might not believe me."

"Try me," he replied. I took a deep breath, not looking at him.

"Uhm… well, when I sleep… when I dream… I see Reno. I converse with him- he helps me remember things sometimes," I began, still refusing to look at him, "At first I thought it might be my mind playing tricks on me… but then, I started to see him almost every night and when I saw that picture of him, I knew it was real.  
He seemed like a good person at first but last night he was acting weird, and said he was… jealous… and he attacked me after saying that he loved you first and wasn't even your first love- I was. But he was… he was also angry because I get to be with you and you get to be with me, whatever that means." Axel was silent for a long moment.

"Did he say why you can see him…? Why he's bothering you?"

"He said I could see him because I had a near death experience before I was brought back to life. Because… I'm vulnerable right now. He's… he's helping me because you love me and said he was protecting me from 'Vexen'." Axel gripped me protectively.

"How did he attack you?" I tensed.

"I… I thought he was going to force himself on me." Axel's grip tightened. Though his voice was calm, he seemed quite angry.

"Why did he stop?"

"I punched him and said that I only want you…" I murmured, glancing up at him. He smiled down at me fondly before I continued. "Then he started acting weirder, saying that he was testing me, I proved that I deserve you and that he approves of me."

Axel laughed lightly, and a bit bitterly, before closing his eyes. "Sounds like Reno alright."

"Do you think I'm crazy…?" I asked. The red-head shook his head, tensing.

"No. I think it's possible that you're seeing Reno, being that you _did_ die at one point…" I nodded slowly. "But now I'm scared."

"…why?" I asked, wondering if I'd upset him. If he thought I was a freak.

"I don't know how to protect you." My eyes widened as they locked with his. Then I smiled, hugging him. If that was his reaction to something like that… then I was glad I'd chosen to be with him for forever. "Rox?"

"Just… help me remember, help me feel safe, and I'll be alright." The red-head pulled me closer, sighing softly.

"Alright… Thank you for telling me. And tell that brother of mine that if he ever does anything inappropriate to you again that I'm gonna kick his ass a thousand times over when I die." I laughed.

"Okay," I said, smiling up at him widely. It felt good- telling him what had been happening.

"Do you feel better?" I nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks for listening…"

"Roxas, I'm always willing to listen to you, to be here for you, to protect you. I love you." I blinked as he grasped my waist then smiled up at him.

"Please, try not to worry about me. It hurts me to see you hurting. Let's just forget about it and have fun today." The red-head smiled, taking my hand.

"_Still so brave,"_ he murmured, "Alright, let's have fun," he said softly, leading me toward the door.

--

Demyx smiled at Axel and me excitedly as we walked to the car, hand in hand.

"What?" I asked somewhat unnerved. Axel had opened the door for me before helping me inside and was currently walking around the car.

"Maybe I _shouldn't_ have interrupted you two," he said, grinning. I flushed, eyes widening as Axel got into the car. The red-head immediately looked at the other blond suspiciously.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," Demyx replied, smiling smugly. Axel flicked him in the head, rightly assuming that he was lying. "Owww, Axxxeee," he whined. Axel flicked him again, eyes narrowing.

"What did you do." It was a, rather irritated sounding, statement.

"I was just teeassing," he whined again, more loudly this time. I gripped the red-head's hand, nodding and assuring him that I was okay. He studied me.

"Alright." Demyx rubbed his head before muttering about Axel being uptight. The red-head chuckled dangerously.

"Trust me honey, if I'd wanted to hurt you, I would have." Demyx and Zexion, who was planning on driving, shared a nervous glance.

"Axel," I chastised softly. The red-head sighed softly.

"Sorry you saw, Rox." I scoffed at him as Zexion began to drive.

"They're your friends you should be nicer," I whispered. The red-head closed his eyes.

"So you don't want me to defend you?" he whispered in my ear. I frowned up at him.

"I don't want you to be mean to them," I whispered back. Axel smirked.

"Can't do that all the time babe- I'm their boss."

"B-boss? What exactly do you do…? Axel?" The red-head closed his eyes again.

"I'll tell you later."

"But-"

"Later," he whispered lowly. I sighed then leaned against the car door for a long time, pouting. Axel squeezed my hand when I'd closed my eyes for a long time. I glanced up at him. He looked worried.

"What is it?"

"Be careful… if you fall asleep," he said softly.

"I will," I promised, "Don't worry. Please." Axel nodded hesitantly before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close.

"I'll do my best."

--

Reno stared at me, horrified, for what felt like forever.

"I can't believe you told him!" I frowned, crossing my arms.

"Really? You didn't see it coming at _all_?" The red-head scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Well… Kind of," he admitted hesitantly. I sighed softly, sitting next to him but still keeping my distance.

"Seriously what the hell was that last time?" My eyes widened when he leant closer, gently touching the side of my face. He sighed as well.

"I'm dead, so I don't even know how it's possible, but… you make me feel things for you when I know that I shouldn't…" I flinched and he backed off, laughing lightly. "I'm… I think I love you a little. At first I was jealous… but then I saw firsthand why Axel fell in love with you and began to feel jealousy toward him. " The red-head glanced away. "I know I crossed the line and I'm sorry. I don't want to treat you the way Vexen did."

"Who the hell _is_ Vexen?!" I asked, annoyance edging my voice. Part of me wanted to change the topic. The other wanted, demanded almost, to know. "I'm sick of not knowing, Reno." He glanced at me, watching me for a long moment before shaking his head.

"Not yet."

"Why?! I remembered Axel so-"

"Because I want you to be happy!"

"Then help me to remember!" I scoffed when Reno shook his head again. "Then I'll just ask Axel." The red-head let out a bark of laughter.

"You think he'll tell you? Oh that's great," laughing harder. When he finally stopped, he smirked at me. "Okay, ask him. See how far you get." I glared then turned away, ignoring him after assuring him that I would.

--

I sat upright, jolting back into consciousness when the car hit a particularly bad bump then relaxed slightly. It must've been amusing because when I looked at him, Axel was smirking and looking like he was trying to keep from laughing. I glanced away, face flushing slightly.

"Uhm, are we almost there?" I murmured. I glanced at him when he didn't say anything and he nodded, still looking amused.

"It wasn't funny," I whispered, pouting. Axel smirked again, leaning in close. I froze, heart pounding as he brushed my hair to the side with his fingers so he could whisper in my ear.

"You're right, Rox," he said softly, "It wasn't funny. It was hilarious." I pulled back, scoffing but unable to hide the fact that my cheeks were burning just because he'd touched me. The red-head didn't miss that detail and his smirk widened. I crossed my arms and looked away- at least until I saw where he was taking me. Radiant Garden Hot Springs and Resort.

I stared at him for a long moment then back out the window before smiling at him as Zexion found a place to park. The red-head laughed at my reaction and I gripped his hand. "Can we see the Crystal Fissure again since we're here?" I asked. The red-head smiled down at me, realizing I'd remembered something.

"Of course."

--

All four of us walked into the resort and I immediately noticed that we were the only ones, besides the staff, on the premises.

"Axel..? Why isn't anyone but us here?" I asked softly after they'd given us our wristband passes and had put them on. The red-head halfway smiled.

"Because I made it known that I was coming and didn't want to be seen." I gave him a puzzled look and he gripped my hand, leading me somewhere.

We went through the doors, into a tropical looking area where the springs were and I gasped. It was absolutely beautiful- they were layered so the different pools fed one another by forming waterfalls. I looked around, amazed, as Axel took me to the changing room.

I glanced around, taking it in. It was filled with lockers, the walls were covered with a light blue tile and the floor was cement- fittingly so. Axel's voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I sat on a metal bench just before he spoke, beginning to hand out towels as he did.

"Feel free to do whatever until dinner, which will be in the indoor-outdoor restaurant." He said to Zexion and Demyx. Demyx looked excited. Zexion didn't look overly thrilled, just amused by Demyx's reaction. I on the other hand was feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement and thanked him as he handed me my towel.

"Alright, we'll see you at dinner!" I blinked as they started to leave without changing.

"You're not going to change?" I asked. Zexion halfway smiled.

"Demyx and I are going to change in the women's changing room since no one else's here, nor will they be." His smile widened to a smirk as he glanced at Axel. "Feel free to take your time," he said before exiting the room. I saw Axel roll his eyes at the comment but didn't say anything and guessed that they were pushing for him to make a move. I shook my head then gripped my towel, beginning to wonder about the red-head. Funny that I thought I loved him when I knew very little about him. I jumped when he spoke.

"Everything okay Rox?" I nodded slowly as he sat next to me. The red-head gripped my hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah… I was just wondering… Why'd you want to come here of all places?" I asked, wondering more so about why _exactly_ we were the only ones here.

"You don't like it?" I could tell that he knew what was going through my mind.

"I do!" I said, looking up at him. "I just… I'm curious."

"Well," the red-head said casually, "It was Demyx's turn to pick where we went, so…"

"Turn?" Axel smiled.

"We usually do something with them about every other week. The order for who picks is you, me, Demyx and then Zexion. Dem is a fanatic of water," he said, making a face. I laughed lightly.

"So… since you dislike getting wet are you not going to have fun?"

"Nah," he said, smiling down at me, "You're here, therefore it'll be worthwhile." I felt my face heat up and went silent.

"Uhhm… did you bring swimsuits for us?" Axel shook his head.

"This is an adult spa, Rox." I gave him a confused look. "You don't need them here," he elaborated. My eyes widened and I felt my face flush deeper.

"O-oh…"

"Are you uncomfortable with that?" I swallowed. It wasn't a big deal… I reasoned to myself, though I was, slightly. I mean… I was sure we'd seen each other naked before. I just couldn't remember it… "Because if you are, I can go over there and change," he said referring to the area with the toilets that had closed off stalls.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down and stop my heart from beating so fast. I could go in my boxers too right? No, that was silly… Why was I nervous about this anyway? I shouldn't be caring…

Axel squeezed my hand, smiling reassuringly, seeming to say it'd be okay. I opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it. "I'll be back shortly then, okay?" I nodded, watching him until he disappeared behind the door.

I closed my eyes for a long moment then took a deep breath, removing my clothes and then quickly tying the towel around my waist before putting them in a locker. I was about to shut it but paused, hearing someone walk toward me, rightly assuming that it was Axel.

"Do you want to share a locker?" he asked, "Or should I get my own?" I stared at my clothes, heart pounding.

"W-we can share," I said softly. I didn't move as he reached past me, placing his clothes on top of mine. Strong hands gripped my shoulders when I didn't move after that.

"Why so tense sweetheart?" he whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes, feeling my entire body tingle. "Are you afraid?" he asked. I shook my head and he turned me around in his arms. "Then what's wrong?" I looked up at him, face flushing again.

"I-nnothing," I stammered, trying to keep my eyes on his face, as he watched me calmly but burning with curiosity all the while. He looked like he was processing the different things that could be going on in my head and then as realization hit him, the red-head's eyes seemed to light up and the left corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

"You know, Rox," he said slowly, "you can look at me- I won't kill you for it. Go ahead." I felt myself redden even more, hating hormones with a burning passion. Axel smiled pleasantly and I swallowed before letting my eyes wander from his face, down his toned torso, feeling my entire body heat up. I was thankful that he was wearing his towel. Pants would have been better of course, but it was better than nothing. I felt another surge of heat as my blood rushed at the thought of Axel wearing nothing at all. Damn it all… why did he have to be sexy too? Better yet… why the hell couldn't I stop staring?!

I paused, thoughts halting, when I noticed that he had at least a dozen faded scars on his upper body- it wasn't that they detracted from him, they were just intriguing. Curious, I lightly traced one that was right next to his heart with my fingers. Axel grasped my hand, entwining his fingers with mine and I glanced up, immediately getting lost in a sea of green. His eyelids lowered and in the next instant, his face was barely an inch away from mine and my breath was coming in short gasps. Then he hesitated, looking conflicted.

"You'd better kiss me," I murmured without thinking, blushing afterward. I heard him chuckle and felt his breath on my face just before our lips fitted together. I gasped when he pulled me close and he took it as an invitation, slipping his tongue into my mouth. My eyes closed and as he deepened the kiss I felt a sinful moan rip through my throat. I felt myself shudder as his tongue ran along mine before he broke away.

I halfway opened my eyes, panting as I stared up at him and leant forward instinctively to return the kiss. He stopped me and I gave him a questioning glance.

"I need to stop- unless you don't want me to fuck you right here against our locker." My eyes widened and I blushed deeply. Axel frowned. "God. You're too damn adorable," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine. "And I feel guilty because I want to do naughty things to you," he halfway whined. I smiled, trying very hard not to laugh, and hugged him tightly.

"Alright, let's stop wasting time then and enjoy ourselves in the hot springs."

"Okay."

He most likely wasn't going to, but I was certainly going to enjoy making him tell me more about himself as well as Vexen.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	11. Chapter 11

Rating: **M**

A/N: -looks at last update date and winces- I'm really, really sorry for taking so long -__-; Too. Many. Stories. Ngh.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 11

--

I settled into the spring Axel had chosen. He'd wanted to go for the most remote one since Demyx and Zexion were in the one closest to the front, which was just fine with me.

I exhaled, smiling as I did and suppressing a shudder. The hot water all around me felt absolutely amazing.

"Okay," I called out, glancing elsewhere and signaling that I was ready. Axel had turned around while I was getting… situated… at my request. I was returning the courtesy and looking away. I heard him enter the pool and felt the water ripple as he approached me but still didn't look at him.

"You know," he said, pausing in front of me, "I already said that you could look at me." I blushed then looked at him uncertainly, thankful that he was kneeling and that the water came up to his waist.

"I k-know you d-did," I replied. He grinned in response. "What?"

"You're so cute when you're nervous," he replied. I blushed as he sat next to me, hating Demyx for his 'choice'. "Relax, Rox, enjoy yourself… That's why we're here." I nodded slowly, sliding down more and letting the water come up to my shoulders. A long silence ensued.

"What're you thinking about?" he finally asked. I glanced up at him. He looked genuinely curious so I decided to indulge him.

"More like wondering."

"About..?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah," I said, glancing away.

"What about me?" I laughed lightly.

"Well…" I began, "everything, I suppose." I saw him nod in my peripheral vision.

"Rightly so…" he said as our eyes locked. He looked conflicted again as well as... frightened?

"It's later," I remarked. The red-head looked at me questioningly. "What do you do for a living?" I asked, watching him carefully. Axel bit his lower lip.

"N-no Rox, I… I can't."

"Why? What are you so afraid of?!" I started questioning, stopping when he closed his eyes, looking ill as he slid further into the water. "What do you have to lose?" I asked softly.

"You!" he yelled, making me jump at the outburst. Our eyes locked as he gripped my shoulders, pulling me closer to make sure that I was listening. "If I lost you… It'd kill me," he whispered. I grasped either side of his face, sighing softly.

"Really? You're doing something horrible enough that it'd drive me away?" I asked coaxingly. The red-head remained silent. "Did I know about it before?" I asked. He nodded hesitantly. "And I'm still here, aren't I?" Axel didn't answer refusing to meet my gaze.

"Remember that I said I'd ask if I wanted help remembering something?" I asked, "Well I'm asking now because I really want to know! …Please?"

"Why is what I do so important?" I shook my head.

"It's not just what you do. I want to know anything and everything about you. Because I don't just want what's on the exterior. I want to know what you're like on the inside too and what events have made you the person you are today," I said, leaning closer yet and staring into his eyes daringly. "I want to know more about the man I loved enough to marry," I whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth gently. I felt his grip loosen as I moved to his ear, "and when I finally tell you that I love you again," I said in his ear, "you can be sure that I love every single part of you and will never have to worry about that changing because you left something out."

I pulled back, watching him intently. "So can you please do that for me?" Axel bit his lower lip then opened his mouth, closed it, looking like he was going to be sick again, and then reopened it as he looked away.

"I run the largest, most powerful gang in Hallow Bastion."

I was staring. I knew I was.

"You… you run a ga— how exactly did we meet?!" I asked, mind reeling.

"I guess I saved you."

"Saved me? From what?! How?!"

"The other person I'm sure you're dying to know about," he said, watching me carefully. I nodded slowly, letting what he was saying sink in and knew that he was talking about Vexen.

"Who was he? An abusive boyfriend? Or what?" I asked. Steely emerald locked with my sapphire.

"I'm not telling you, Rox."

"But-"

"_No_," he said, eyes darkening. "You can pout, get angry, hate me for it, hit me, whatever, but I'm not telling you and I hope that you never remember."

"I have a right to know." Axel glanced away.

"I know you do… but I want what's best for you." I scoffed at him.

"There you go again, assuming what's best for me!" The red-head sighed before running a hand through his hair.

"Trust me, please. I know it's hard to be understanding right now but please try. This time I'm right."

"If you're so set on believing that then excuse me," I said, reaching for my towel and wrapping it around myself as I stood. The red-head closed his eyes but otherwise didn't move until I started to get out of the spring. I froze, petrified, when he stood as well and wrapped his arms around me from behind, blushing as he pulled me into his chest and our bodies pressed together. I knew that he had no intention of releasing me by the way he was holding me.

"Rox, wait, please…"

"L-let go."

"Not yet."

"Why?"

"I want you to know why I'm telling you 'no' and why I have and will continue assuming what's best for you." I nodded slowly, "It's…" he said softly, "It's because I want you to be happy. Because I want to protect you from getting hurt again, because… you didn't deserve what happened to you and now that you can't remember it, it's like it never did."

"What happened to me?" I whispered as he turned me around in his arms, already knowing what his answer was going to be and wishing with all my might that I could remember.

"I…" I sighed, irritated. Just because he wanted me to forget didn't mean that it never happened.

"Let me guess, you_ won't tell me."_

I felt his chin rest on top of my head and glared at his chest. "It's for the best not to tell you…" I was about to protest but he continued, "…for now. I'll tell you everything when I think that you're ready."

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you thought I was lying to you at any point in time, then I wouldn't be surprised if you left me." I nodded slowly. I knew that he didn't want that. "I'm willing to _compromise_. For you."

I sighed, knowing that that was the best I was probably going to get. "Okay," I whispered, looking up at his face and realizing how tense he was for the first time. I bit my lower lip. "I'm stressing you out, aren't I?"

Axel laughed nervously. "Yes." Great. We were supposed to be relaxing and I was making him a nervous wreck.

"I'm sorry," I replied. It was a wonder I hadn't given him gray hair, I thought, guiltily. "I just… I don't want you to protect me from every little thing. I need to be able to experience life- the good and the bad parts."

"I know you do," he whispered. "And I want you to know- what I'm protecting you from isn't little." I felt myself tense when my chin was forcibly raised. "I think I'm letting you experience a lot, considering. You don't have much of a memory, Rox."

"I know enough," I whispered as our eyes locked. "I can handle the truth- I'm not as fragile as you seem to think I am." The red-head smiled, shaking his head as his emerald bore into my sapphire.

"All you really know, and seem to want to know, is me and some of what our life consists of. You don't seem to have much of a desire to be with your friends or to learn about and resume the life you had before."

"Maybe I _don't_ want to." Axel closed his eyes, going silent for a long time. "Maybe I just want to be with you. _Why_ _can't_ _you_ _be enough?"_

"Because focusing, fixating, entirely on one person isn't healthy."

"But what if I want you to be my entire world?" Those green eyes snapped open and the red-head stared outright. He stared harder but didn't resist when I gripped his neck and pulled him closer. I felt his pulse quicken.

"Why?" He was debating, weighing, calculating. I could tell by the look on his face.

"Because you're kind… care about my well being… mysterious… beautiful… you're perfect."

After a moment or two, the red-head closed his eyes and chuckled. "Oh. _I_ _see_… you're _infatuated_…"

I pouted up at him. "That's not nice," I whispered, "Saying that my feelings are superficial." Axel leant in closely, gripped my neck and pressed his lips to mine. When I didn't resist, he immediately deepened the kiss, pulling back after a moment or two.

"Sounds like it to me," he murmured against my lips. I gasped again, tremoring as his tongue ran down my neck as he pulled me to himself, making sure I wouldn't go anywhere. I moaned as he began to nibble then bite and suckle the skin.

"I…no it-_ah,"_ I whimpered, biting my lower lip.

"Then why are you placing me on a pedestal?" he whispered in my ear. "Why do you let me- want me to- kiss you?" I gasped again, realizing that he was trying to prove his point, before moaning and arching my back as hands grasped my waist. "Why do you let me touch you… when you barely know me still?" It was true. I barely knew him- hell, I'd just let him come back into our bedroom _last_ _night_… but it didn't feel that way.

"A-axe-el," I whimpered, shaking as those hands travelled ever-so-slowly lower, fingers running down my abdomen, along my naval, traveling lower and lower before stopping short. The red-head chuckled dangerously, making tremors go up and down my spine then paused, obviously waiting for an answer.

"I-I don't know," I admitted, mind fuzzy. "I _do_ barely know you…" I whispered, "but I _yearn_ to remember, and when we're not together, I feel like there's a gaping hole where my heart should be. I need you, I _want_ you, more than I should… and it scares and excites me at the same time."

"You want me… and you don't even know why?" I nodded, closing my eyes.

"Very much. I think that the feelings that I had for you before are resurfacing, because I can see _why_ I fell in love with you. I'm _not_ placing you on a pedestal. You're a good, genuine, person." The red-head sighed, making a face.

"No I'm not-- I run a gang and kill people, sweetheart. I'm still surprised that we ended up together," he whispered, releasing me before likewise gripping his towel and wrapping it around himself. I shook my head in disagreement as he did, angry that he was still denying how wonderful he was after all this time.

"Weren't you forced to become the leader of it after your grandfather died?" Axel's eyes widened but I didn't stop, intent on scolding him, "And I really don't see why you're 'still surprised' that I chose you. You've shown me many times that you're generous and will do anything for someone, or something that you care about." He stared in disbelief.

"R-rox-?"

"Besides, I've already told you. It doesn't matter to me that you're running a gang or that you've killed people- I like you for who you are and I won't judge you based on your past. So don't feed me that 'I'm a bad person, you don't deserve me,' nonsense! Just by looking into your eyes, I can tell that-" I stopped talking when he grasped either side of my face. I looked at him questioningly. "…Axel?" I asked, just before he closed the space between us and his lips pressed to mine. I closed my eyes, tremoring against him—I could almost _taste_ the emotion behind it: pure bliss. All I could do was stare in shock even after he pulled away and wonder what I'd done.

"Roxas… my Roxas…" He whispered decidedly, smiling as our noses brushed, making my heart pound. "You're remembering me again." I closed my eyes as his lips engulfed mine once again, feeling myself melt, gasping when he broke away too soon.

"I s-suppose I am," I whispered back, looking at him searchingly. He smiled widely.

"You've no idea, how happy that makes me." Actually, I did have an idea, I thought, and returned the smile then pouted at him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm _not_ infatuated." The red-head laughed at that.

"I'm sorry for saying your feelings were superficial." I smiled again.

"Then I'll forgive you… eventually." Axel gaped.

"But-" I smirked at him.

"I'll forgive you on my terms not yours." He pouted and I resisted the urge to hug him. "C'mon Mr. Badass Gang Leader. Let's go do something that involves you staying dry-- I want to see what else there is to do here that doesn't involve us being naked." The red-head mirrored my look.

"Nervous about being together, all alone, _naked?"_ I swallowed. The way he said that seemed vaguely familiar.

"Maybe." Axel chuckled then kissed my forehead.

"You're so cute," he whispered, stepping out of the spring, and offering his hand to me. I took it and he helped me out. "You know, you don't have to worry about things like that, right? I won't push you into doing anything you don't want to. Even if it involves remembering who you were."

"Why?"

"Because I love you enough to place your desires above mine."

"A-axel…" I whispered. He smiled at me fondly.

"Come on, since you want to see what else there is to see. How about we start off with a massage with hot rocks?" I closed my eyes, shivering and wondering if I'd ever had one before then gripped his hand more tightly.

"Okay."

--

-TBC-

A/N: Hello all. Sorry again for the delay and if you've been patiently waiting on me ):

In regards to the story—I like where it's going. NOT A CLUE on how long it'll be and I might write another after this one that ties in: Reckoning, How long is Forever?, ?????

Also. If you're looking for a good read and enjoy supernatural (like me)—or just a good read (not all of her stories are supernatural)--, checkout BeehiveOneThreeZer0. Currently—I'm obsessing on her writing.

But two stories specifically that are very good: Ketchup by: BeehiveOneThreeZer0 and Rookie by: XbuttonsX.

Anyhow. About the update: Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	12. Chapter 12

Rating: **M**

A/N: Trying to be faster for everyone who's enjoying this. I do hope you'll enjoy it.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 12

xXXXXXXx

I walked with Axel, hand in hand, to an indoor-outdoor room. There was a roof to provide shade- but no walls. We stepped inside and I glanced around.

It continued with the tropical theme and I noticed that there were candles nearly everywhere, as well as a fountain for relaxation. Before I could continue my examination, however, two women of oriental descent greeted us and Axel told them what we wanted. One turned to me, asking if I wanted a full body massage like usual as she smiled at me pleasantly. I blushed, stepping back.

"I-I'd rather keep my towel on, thanks." She shrugged, before nodding and they both left momentarily to give us some privacy as Axel snorted in amusement. I scoffed at him and he smirked at me before approaching me.

"Go ahead and lie on your stomach on the massage table," he said, gesturing to what he was referring. I nodded, halfway paying attention.

"How many times has she _seen_ me…?"

"Naked?" My blush deepened and his smirk widened.

"Five times, I think. Be nice to her, her name's Xion." I nodded slowly.

"What's the other's name?"

"Yuna."

"Do we each always have the same one?" Axel laughed.

"Yes." I nodded again then lay down, glancing up at him all the while.

"Now would be the opportune time to look away if you don't want to see me naked." I felt my blush darken. "Or maybe you do," he said playfully. I frowned then closed my eyes. I reopened them due to surprise when a pair of soft lips pressed to my forehead as he ruffled my hair. The red-head pulled back, smiling at me and I glanced away when he untied his towel, set it to the side and then lay on the massage table next to mine.

I looked at him once he was situated and he reached out, grasping my hand. Our fingers entwined and I smiled at him, though it was a bit uncomfortable because I was losing circulation in my arm. Yuna and Xion must've come back shortly after.

I didn't see them, but jumped when I heard them say '_aww'_ in unison then begin to chatter excitedly in Japanese, giggling here and there, utterly confusing me. I stared at Axel when I'm pretty sure _he_ said something in Japanese and they ceased, looking embarrassed. I continued to stare. He could speak Japanese? He smiled sheepishly at my incredulous look.

"Apparently… we're their favorite couple." I blinked, not following him. The fact that he'd just spoken another language was all I could focus on.

"You… you can speak Japanese?"

"And German and Spanish," he said, shrugging.

"That's cool!" He blinked, obviously surprised by my reaction.

"Well… my grandfather wanted Reno and me to know everything he'd been taught, to do everything he'd done, plus more… so… that's how it came about."

"What else can you do? Did he teach you a lot? Did-"

"He taught me how to be cold and ruthless and almost made me go through with what would have been the biggest mistake of my life," he whispered. "I don't like the man, still."

"Biggest mistake..?" I asked, daring to dig deeper though it was obvious that he didn't want to talk about it.

"He tried to make me get married." My eyes widened.

"…what?"

"He set up an arranged marriage for me, Roxas." Axel had been engaged previously…? But he hadn't gotten married, had he? So…

"What changed his mind?" The red-head smirked.

"Bastard had a heart attack and died an hour before the ceremony. My first order of business, once I was in charge, was calling off my own wedding. I hated Larxene."

"Excellent timing, huh?" I joked. He smiled at me, squeezing my hand gently.

"Yeah, it was. I might not have met my match otherwise."

"Were you… were you looking for someone of the same sex?" I whispered.

"I've always swung both ways, so that wasn't much of a factor," he whispered back. "I was looking for someone who stood out. Someone… special… and I found him." I smiled then quickly closed my eyes so that he wouldn't see that my eyes were welling up with tears because of the wonderful things he was saying and the guilt of not remembering him fully.

Yuna and Xion seemed to see it as their opportunity to begin and approached us, apologizing and bowing slightly as they did. Axel smiled while I blinked, wondering what they'd been talking about as I accepted their apology. I glanced at the red-head when his hand slipped out of mine. He smiled as our eyes locked, resting his arm at his side. I did the same and Xion began.

I closed my eyes, almost melting as hands worked on my shoulders, gradually working their way down my back. I hadn't even realized how tense I'd been until she had begun. It felt absolutely amazing, I found myself thinking, shuddering as the pressure was increased. Soon I was relaxing more and more… and shortly after she started, I felt myself drifting off, not fighting the sleep that was about to overtake me.

xXXXXXXXx

I opened my eyes, glancing around and seeing that Reno was sitting beside me.

"I told you he wouldn't tell you." I shrugged, happy with the knowledge I'd obtained, thinking of something as I did.

"Reno…?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you lead me here that first day after I woke up?" He regarded me cooly.

"To protect you… you're safe here."

"Here…?" I asked, glancing around, recalling it in my mind. It was some sort of mansion, huge and beautiful, but didn't seem to have anything particularly extraordinary about it. It was even a bit rundown.

"Yes, here… it's like a safe haven- somewhere you can go once you've died where nothing can harm you. I imagine you can come here since you've experienced death." I looked up at him. That would explain a few things.

"You never did give me an answer; why are _you _here?" Reno closed his eyes.

"Well... at first, after I… died… couldn't move on because I was murdered." I gasped.

"You were killed? By who?"

"Vexen—I was in his gang for a while. One day, I was insubordinate. He killed me, brutally," he whispered, not looking like he enjoyed talking about it, so I didn't press. The red-head opened his eyes and glanced away, smiling slightly. "Axel met you shortly after I died, but you and I met first. I'd seen you a few times while I was working for Vexen. We even talked once, but I don't think you remembered it, even before the accident. I think you were on some sort of drug."

"Drug…?"

"Yeah… Vexen had said that your dad would put you on something to make you shut up." I blinked, confused. Drugs? Make me shut up…?

"…what did we talk about, that time?" Reno turned his head upward as he thought, smiling sadly.

"First; do you want to know why I died?" I nodded, so he continued. "You and I were talking before he… started." I gave him a funny look but didn't interrupt. "You told me about yourself, how your mother had died, how your father was… and were begging for my help. I was in charge of watching you while Vexen was busy finishing up something." He shook his head.

"You were just a child… it wasn't right… what was happening to you, so I tried to get you out of there, even though it was risky."

"What was happening to me? …did we escape?" The red-head shook his head, blue eyes seeming even bluer, only answering the second question.

"I made it seem like it was all my idea, so you wouldn't get into trouble and took the brunt of his rage… and well… here I am," he said, referring to his state. I covered my mouth.

"I'm so sorry…" I whispered. Reno shrugged, assuring me that he didn't blame me for his death, before continuing.

"L-like I said, Axel met you shortly after my death. You were to be solely with Vexen at that time, and in a way, he's how you two ended up meeting. Axel was planning to kill Vexen to avenge me…" he said, laughing lightly. "He almost didn't because he thought you were happy. Almost.

After killing the man, he took to you and you became a permanent fixture his life." He said, pausing for a few moments. "I didn't want to move on. I wanted to watch over and protect Axel because I still loved him, even though you became more important than I had been." I involuntarily swallowed because of the way he'd said it.

A small smile came to his lips. "I hated you initially when the two of you became lovers but then you grew on me… like you did the first time. Especially when I saw that you genuinely cared for him and didn't want to use him- you were even willing to suffer for him. So when you got hurt and even died for a moment or two, after you'd gotten married, I decided to watch over you, mostly for him at the time. I've been here since and haven't really been able to leave."

"…you can't leave? Why?" He shrugged.

"Maybe I'm supposed to help you before I can move on, since I wasn't exactly a saint during my lifetime and couldn't help you the first time." I shrugged as well, glancing up at him before sitting up.

"Thank you… for wanting to help me… but I don't want to keep you here. I want you to have peace and to be happy again… so I'm going to explore."

"…what?"

"Maybe there are answers outside this safe-haven." Reno paled as I stood, walking toward the door and I knew that I was right.

"Roxas, no, it's dangerous." I regarded him cooly.

"I don't want to hide. If no one will tell me, I'll discover what happened to me on my own."

"Please!" he half begged, grasping my wrist. I jerked away.

"Don't stop me, Reno." My gaze softened. "Please," I whispered. "If nothing else, I want you to have peace for what you did for me." The red-head's eyes rimmed with tears and he hugged me.

"I wish I could have saved you… back then." I smiled and returned his embrace.

"Funny… how things still seemed to work themselves out." My smile widened. "It's like my mother always said: no matter how bad the storm gets… you can always ride it out. Nothing bad can remain for forever." Reno hugged me closer to himself. He seemed mournful.

"If you ever need me, here is where I'll be." I nodded, thanking him before pulling away and departing.

xXXXXXXXx

I walked for what felt like forever. There wasn't much of interest to be found and I closed my eyes as I walked, concentrating on Vexen. I couldn't remember anything about him—not even what he'd looked like. I continued, furrowing my eyebrows in concentration, pausing when I heard my name, faintly being called by a familiar red-head.

"_Roxas… Roxas, wake up_." I shook my head, opening my eyes. The scenery had changed and now, instead of being in a vast amount of nothing, I was outside of my old house. It was early in the day. I shook my head again, trying my hardest not to wake up. _Not yet, Axel. _

It was my birthday. I could tell because I was standing outside. I glanced at my hands. I seemed to be much younger- I could tell, just by looking at them, I thought as I closed my eyes. I concentrated once more, the memory slowly coming back to me. This time though, it seemed like more than a memory… like I was experiencing it firsthand… like I was… reliving it.

_We'd gotten ready and I took a deep breath of fresh air once outside. I'd smiled widely. It had been such a long time and I was very happy. I could already tell that it was going to be a beautiful day._

I reopened my eyes, and my father was beside me. He told me to move, and as usual, we walked to wherever we were to be going. My dad, of course, was keeping a close eye on me but still let me roam. He knew that I knew better than to run away or talk to anyone. It didn't matter much to me, where we were headed, so long as I got to enjoy myself along the way.

After some time, I ascended the stairs leading to the front gate of one of the biggest houses I'd ever seen. It was grand, elegant, and beautiful. The security guard at the door must've recognized my father because he opened the gate for us without question then, after relocking it, lead us to the house and announced our arrival to a blond man that I'd never seen before. He glanced at me, an eyebrow rising as he studied me.

"Who is that with you? I thought I specifically said that you were to come alone," he sounded displeased.

"Forgive me—this' my son Roxas. He's along with me because it's his birthday." Jade orbs scanned me from head to toe again and again and I pretended not to notice, failing to suppress a shudder as I looked around curiously, wandering off, but not too far. I didn't want to pay for it later, but at the same time, I didn't want to be around the creepy stranger.

I couldn't help but blink in surprise when the blond man pulled my father to the side, whispering something to him. They looked like they were bartering, and I strained to hear what they were saying but couldn't make it out, still pretending not to pay attention. I blinked again, wondering what was going on when he handed my father something and then my dad brushed past me, leaving after mumbling that he'd be back soon, to behave and to do what I was told.

"W-what's going on?" I asked utterly confused. My dad had always made a point of staying close by my side in public and _never _leaving me unattended. I couldn't help but wonder if the opportunity would be advantageous, feeling hopeful.

"Come with me," the stranger said. I furrowed my eyebrows as he grasped my wrist, leading me somewhere. I could only assume that he and my father were friends and didn't resist because I'd been told to behave. I still couldn't help but feel like something wasn't right as I was taken to a secluded room, though. I tensed as the door was shut and locked behind us, panicking slightly and trying to think of an excuse.

"M-my d-dad, I need to go find him or he'll be mad."

"No, Roxas, Lexaeus won't be angry with you. We worked something out- today you are _mine_," the man assured me, grasping my shoulders. The way he said it… and the way he was looking at me felt off.

"I… I don't understand." Those green eyes flashed in amusement.

"Then, by all means, I'll enlighten you."

xXXXXXXXXXXXx

"_Roxas, Roxas!" _I heard again. Someone grasped my shoulder, shaking me. I gasped, startled, staring into concerned emerald.

"I… what?" I asked. Who had that been..? Vexen..?

"It's time to get ready so we can go eat." He looked worried.

"O-oh," I murmured, glancing down.

"Are you okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine," I replied. I couldn't believe that I'd slept through the entire massage.

"You're sure?" I smiled at the red-head.

"Yeah, Axel, I'm fine, I promise. Just… tired." That look of worry didn't fade, but he nodded.

"Okay," he replied, helping me stand. I stretched and then took his hand, walking with him to the locker room. Once we were inside he paused, looking at me seriously. "Were you remembering something? Or talking to Reno?" I nodded.

"Yeah, Reno and I were talking. Why are you so worried?" He closed his eyes taking a deep, shaky breath.

"Because I couldn't wake you up for fifteen minutes." I blinked.

"What?" He nodded.

"You went all limp on me and everything. Scared me to death." I stared.

"…what?" He nodded again.

"I don't know… maybe you get like that every time… but it just freaked me out." I nodded slowly.

"Perhaps…" I whispered, hugging him and wanting to talk to Reno about it. I'd go back to the mansion and stay there if I had to. I didn't want to frighten Axel. "I'm so sorry for scaring you." He hugged me just as tightly.

"Let's get dressed, okay?" I nodded.

"Okay."

xXXXXXXXXXXx

Axel changed in the stalls once again, letting me have the rest of the room to myself. I smiled when he didn't come out, even after he was done, waiting for me to be ready. When I was, I sauntered up to the stall he was in and knocked. My smile widened as he unlocked the door and opened it.

"Yeess?" He asked, acting like I'd just come up to his front door. I laughed lightly.

"Special delivery for a: Mister Axel Kurato."

"Oh really?" I smirked, grasping his shoulders and standing on my toes so we were closer to the same height.

"Yeah, really," I whispered back, brushing my lips against his. He tried to kiss me and I evaded it, smirk widening. The red-head looked amused, his hands sliding down my back.

"You know you're playing with fire right?" he whispered as his hands slipped into my back pockets. I squeaked, alarmed, when he squeezed and he chuckled, pulling me closer, and firmly pressed his lips to mine. "Careful, Roxy, you might get burned." He breathed against my lips. When I didn't resist, he kissed me again. I raised my hands, grasping either side of his face, closing my eyes as his tongue brushed against mine and began to kiss back. He smirked as he pulled back.

"I see that you're over your shyness." I felt my face flush deeply and looked at him when he raised my chin, appearing to be pleased by the fact. He leant in once more, kissing my forehead. "Let's go before Demyx accuses me of trying to rape you again."

"Is there a basis for those accusations?" I whispered back. Axel's eyes widened slightly and he blushed. I stared as he laughed nervously.

"Uhm, well, yeah."

"And…?"

"He's walked in on us…" I nearly fell over.

"What?"

"Don't worry… we were just making out," he assured me. I relaxed somewhat. "And… my hand was down your pants…"

"You… you… you were doing what?" He laughed at that.

"You sound surprised," he whispered. I glanced at the rings on my finger and he smirked.

"What?"

"That one was before we were married," he whispered, sending me into another blushing fit. He laughed lightly and I hit his chest, scoffing at him. He tsked at me. "That wasn't very nice, sweetheart." I frowned until he ran his thumb across my lower lip, making me shudder. I looked into his beautiful green eyes, a million things running through my mind, things I wanted to ask him, that I wanted to know about us. "What are you thinking about?" He asked. My gaze softened.

"I was wondering about us." Axel nodded, indicating that he was interested in what I had to say. "How old was I when we started dating?"

"Sixteen," he replied.

"I… I knew that you were almost seven years older beforehand, right?" Axel nodded.

"Of course. I wouldn't have kept something like that from you." I nodded as well.

"I… know that you killed Vexen. Reno told me," I said. The red-head frowned. "I don't care… But what I'm wondering is… what happened after that? How did we end up getting to know one another?"

"I offered you a place to stay because you didn't have anywhere to go and you lived with me after that." He smiled slightly. "Guess I grew on you."

"It was really that simple?"

"Of course not," he whispered, "I'm leaving out the messy details to protect you again."

"But you'll tell me someday..?"

"Exactly," he whispered back just before my stomach growled, making me blush again. "Now let's get something to eat."

"…Alright."

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

-TBC-

A/N: More bonding/ shyness this time—I'm thinking (hoping) it'll pick up and get more exciting soon.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks


	13. Chapter 13

Rating: **M**

A/N: Sorry for delays everyone. If you read my Midori Sour Please update, you'll know why…

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 13

xXx

We went to the resort's restaurant, and I let Axel hold my hand the entire way there. I was still so amazed by how breathtaking everything was… but not that Axel could afford it. He _had_ just admitted to me that he ran the largest gang in Hollow Bastion earlier, after all.

I sat across from Demyx and Axel sat across from Zexion, ending up beside me. They looked as if they'd been waiting for us. Despite that, the other blond wouldn't stop smiling at me for some reason. It was beginning to unnerve me, so I began to space out, wondering about what I'd begun to remember earlier. I wanted to know the whole memory… but at the same time, didn't want to scare Axel. He definitely didn't deserve it.

"What do you want to eat, Roxas?" Axel asked softly, drawing my attention to himself. I shrugged.

"I don't really know… or care," I admitted.

"Do you want me to order for you then?" I nodded.

"Please…" I replied, closing my eyes. I must've looked unwell because Axel spoke again, shortly after.

"Are you feeling okay, Roxas?" I nodded.

"I'm fine, Axel."

"Hey Roxas, you really do look kinda sick. Wanna go on a walk with me to get some fresh air?" I opened my eyes, glancing at Demyx.

"But… It's supper time Dem."

"The food won't be here for a while, Rox." I looked at Axel and he nodded.

"You can go if you want to." I didn't really, but Demyx looked like he did… and I hated to disappoint him. I nodded.

"Okay, sure." Demyx smiled widely.

"Awesome. Will you order my usual for me baby?"He asked Zexion, who nodded. The blond beamed. "C'mon Rox!" I stood, unenthused, but followed him nonetheless.

"Honestly Dem, I'm fine, so why are we really walking?" I asked once we were out of the other two's earshot. He rounded the corner and paused, once I'd followed suit.

"You look bothered. Is everything okay?" My eyes widened slightly.

"I just… I had a bad dream earlier, about my dad," I halfway lied.

"Oh… was it about him… y'know..?"I had no idea of what he was talking about, but nodded my head, hoping I'd obtain some information from it, and guessing he didn't know that I couldn't remember. I knew that Axel'd promised to tell me…but I wanted to know. Demyx shook his head. "I still can't believe he did all that stuff to you… or that anyone could sell their own child."

I looked away, trying to seem normal as I began to piece things together. Demyx said selling me… Reno said I'd been put on drugs to shut up… Axel did not want me to know about Vexen… _'Then, by all means, I'll enlighten you…' _I began to shake, and feel nauseous… _oh God…_ I really, _really, _hoped that what I was assuming was wrong…"Sorry Rox… I know it's upsetting for you..." I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Thanks for caring, Demy," I said softly.

"Sure Rox… I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and that Axel's still treating you right." I nodded.

"Of course he is." Demyx beamed.

"Awesome! I'm so glad that things are going better for you two. It was kinda rocky for a while." I leaned back against the wall.

"We're doing okay now Dem, no worries," I said, deciding to hide the fact that I was upset with Axel. Why the hell didn't he tell me? The other blond smiled but before he could speak, the very red-head I didn't want to see at the moment rounded the corner. I looked at him questioningly.

"Sorry to interrupt, but what did you want to drink, Rox?" I looked away and shrugged, still feeling resentful toward him. I could understand him wanting to protect me, but I had a right to know if my own father was selling me for drugs and I certainly had a right to know if Vexen had been molesting me, or worse. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"_Nothing_. I'm peachy keen," I deadpanned as I stared into his eyes. The red-head raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"Excuse us, Demyx," he said neutrally.

"But-" The red-head glared and the other blond hung his head. "Okay, _boss_."

Once Demyx was gone, Axel approached me. "You know I'm only asking because I'm concerned, right?" I nodded but didn't look at him. "Then why the attitude, Roxas?"

"I don't have an attitude." The red-head humphed and I snapped. "What do you want from me, Axel?" I yelled, facing him.

"I want the truth. All I've ever asked from you is to be honest with me." I bit my lower lip as I shook my head and couldn't help but feel defensive.

"Alright," I said, gazing up at him long and hard. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"…What?"

"Do you think I'm stupid!"

"Of course not, Roxas," he said furrowing his eyebrows.

"It doesn't seem like it… it also doesn't seem like you think I'll remember things." The red-head faltered, and, uncrossing his arms, approached me, placing a hand to either side of me.

"What are you talking about? What did you remember?" He asked more calmly and a little coaxingly. "Please, Roxas, tell me." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "_Please_," he whispered.

"Axel, I…" I started, opening my eyes, stopping when I looked into his. They were filled with so many emotions… so much pain, so much concern, and I felt my anger fade away as I got lost in them. No matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn't look away. "Why… why didn't you tell me that my dad sold me for drugs?" The red-head closed his eyes, going quiet for a long time.

"…Roxas," he said quietly, "Do you know how hard it was for me to decide whether it's best to tell you or to not tell you all of the horrible things that have happened to you?" He opened his eyes and looked anywhere but at me. "Can't you understand that I decided I'd let you be happy rather than have to go through all of the pain all over again? At least for a little while? I know you're smart, sweetheart. You're too smart for your own good, in fact… So I knew if you'd remember something like this, you'd piece things together, and while you're probably hurt or upset right now, how do you think you would have felt if I'd told you right away? Especially since you can remember hardly anything and had nowhere else to go at the time?"

"But, Axel, what will happen if I remember something horrific on my own with no warning whatsoever? Did you consider that?"

"I did… which is why I was going to tell you eventually… but you've made conclusions, haven't you?" I glanced away and he sighed. "Okay, Roxas. What's on your mind?"

"Who was I sold to?"

"Vexen, I know, and others I don't know." I nodded, trying to remain calm.

"How long was I being sold for?" The red-head looked away and I had a sinking feeling.

"About four years."

"T-that means…" I said, beginning to shake. Axel grasped my shoulders and I looked into his eyes. "A-Axel, was I r-raped?" The red-head looked downward and said nothing. I shook my head as I began to shake harder. "I-it's tr-true?" The red-head didn't answer. "Tell me!" Axel closed his eyes.

"Yes." I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.

"H-how many times?" I asked when I could breathe again.

"…I don't know. Even you didn't."

"No!" I screamed, gripping either side of my head with my hands and shaking my head harder while repeating that word over and over and over. I felt arms wrap around me and found myself being pulled into their owner's chest.

"It'll be okay, sweetheart," He soothed as I began to cry. "I'll help you through this… and am here whenever you need me to be. If you need space, just let me know." Hesitantly, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back.

Demyx and Zexion must've heard the commotion because it didn't take long before they'd rounded the corner as well. "What's wrong Axel!" The blond asked. Axel rested his chin on top of my head, allowing me to cry into his chest, which I'd begun to do uncontrollably.

"Can I tell you later?" They must've nodded because he spoke shortly after that. "Is it alright if we take our food with us and go?"

"Of course," Zexion replied.

xXXx

I clung to Axel, even after the other two had gone and I couldn't cry anymore.

"Rox… are you ready to go home?" I nodded but didn't move. "You've gotta work with me then, baby." I nodded again before releasing him, already missing his comforting embrace. The red-head took my hand and I allowed him to lead me to the car.

xXXx

No one spoke during the ride home. I'd closed my eyes and rested against Axel's left side as he'd wrapped his arm around me and hadn't moved since. I wanted to be alone, but for some reason, at the same time, I still wanted him to be at my side and to hold me.

When we arrived home I didn't move and he must've assumed I'd fallen asleep because he asked Zexion for help while he carried me. I felt safe in the red-head's strong arms, hoping he'd hold me until I fell asleep again.

"Is it safe to assume Roxas remembered something that will make him spiral downward?" Zexion asked after opening the front door. Axel tensed.

"I'm afraid so… and I confirmed it for him," he said a little bitterly. I felt a pang of guilt.

"At least you know how to help him this time." This time? Did Axel help me though this last time too?

"…I just hope he'll accept my offer to help him," the red-head replied.

"I'm sure he will. If not he'll come around. Do you want me to put the food in the fridge?"

"Yeah… I'll wait to eat with Roxas. Thanks for your help, Zexion. I'm gonna go put Roxas in our room." I heard Zexion reply but didn't hear what he said because he'd opened the fridge and Axel was on the move.

He opened the door, kicking it shut behind him before setting me down. Axel hesitated then sighed softly before apologizing to me for some reason, then, bending down, he pressed his lips to mine innocently.

I raised my hands and grasped his shoulders. Before he could react, I pulled him down, crashing his lips into mine harder. The red-head gasped in surprise and I kissed him back until he forcibly pulled away. I watched him pull back, eyes wide, cheeks slightly red. I smiled up at him.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I guess… I-I thought you were asleep… and I definitely thought you wouldn't be doing _that_ for a while."

"I won't if you don't like it." Axel closed his eyes.

"Of _course_ I like it," he mumbled. I couldn't help but smile more widely. "I should go…" I frowned, grasping his hand and shaking my head.

"Please… don't go. Don't leave me…" I whispered. "I need you." The red-head sat beside me.

"Okay. How can I help?"

"Will you hold me?"

"For as long as you'd like," he replied. I slid over, making room for him and he laid next to me. I wrapped my arms around him as he pulled me closer, settling one of my legs between his, the other on top of his other leg. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright… surprisingly. I imagine I'd feel worse if I could remember. How about you?"

"Me?"

"How do you feel about me knowing?"

"Conflicted." I looked up at Axel. He was watching me as well and I could tell that he was still very concerned.

"I'm sorry for worrying you."

"You don't have to apologize, Roxas."

"I know. I wanted to." Axel smiled.

"Thank you, sweetheart." I grasped either side of his face, bringing him closer and pressing my lips to his. I felt his smile widen, and he grasped the back of my neck, pulling me closer to deepen the kiss. He pulled back a moment or two later. "Do you want me to leave once you've fallen asleep?"

"No… I want you to stay here, where you belong." The red-head smiled again before kissing my forehead lovingly.

"Alright."

xXx

A/N: Sorry again for lateness… As I said… I plan to explain in my MSP update, which I'm also working on.

Here's hoping you still like my story… Expect angst next time.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks.


	14. Chapter 14

Rating: **M**

A/N: Been/am sick… and therefore, I'm sitting around and writing (even if that's a bit weird), haha;

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 14

xXx

I knew I'd fallen asleep- I had to have… because I was back _there_, with Vexen, about to learn the truth. Somewhere deep inside, I wanted to resist, to leave so that I wouldn't worry Axel, but I was so close that I couldn't help myself.

_"I… I don't understand." Those green eyes flashed in amusement._

_"Then, by all means, I'll enlighten you."_

I found myself opening my mouth to speak but before I could, I was pushed down onto the bed roughly. Then he strattled my hips, sitting on top of me, making sure I wouldn't go anywhere, and ripped my shirt off of my body. It wasn't hard to piece what he was going to do together.

I felt my eyes widen at the thought and began to shake, terror rising inside of me. I began to struggle and he immediately grasped my wrists and held them above my head with one hand in response.

"W-why are you doing this?"

"Because… I want you and I _always_ get what I want," he replied, grasping my jaw. I cried out in shock and pain when he forced it open, certain my jaw would bruise. In the next instant, our mouths pressed together and I struggled violently, kicking and screaming and trying to bite him until he released my jaw and slapped me. Then he reached behind himself and pulled out a knife. I froze as he pressed it to my throat, completely petrified.

"Do you want me to kill you? Because I plan to fuck you either way- dead or alive," he said quite plainly. I felt my eyes well up with tears just before I began to cry. He laughed as he penetrated my skin, making a shallow cut as if to prove his point. "I bet no one would even care if you died." I cried harder, knowing it was true.

"No… _please_… no…" He looked amused.

"Roxas… I've heard you're a smart boy…" he commented, "so choose. Is it better to live by doing as you're told or to die and have your corpse decimated?" I cried harder, thinking of my mother, how she used to hold me tightly and comfort me… _nothing bad can remain forever, baby. You just have to hold on and wait for the storm to pass_…

"I…" I sobbed after a long moment, "I want to live."

"Good boy," he said smirking. "Now, the first thing I want you to do is stop struggling." I did. "Next, tell me that you want this." I cried harder but finally did. "And tell me that you _only_ want me."

"I do…" I whispered.

"No. Say it."

"I…" I sobbed, feeling completely helpless, "I only w-want you."

"Good. Now remember to behave and don't do anything stupid." I continued to cry even when as he got up and had put the knife in a secure place. I was certain that if I didn't do as I was told just once, I'd have a painful death.

I shook, completely terrified, when he came back. I felt nauseous as he began to kiss me again and touch me everywhere. I wanted to fight as the rest of my clothes were removed but didn't. I knew better.

It wasn't until his pants and underwear were removed that I looked away, not wanting to see what he was about to do to me, but he wouldn't have that. I cried out as my hair was grasped and I was pulled up into a sitting position.

"Open your eyes," he commanded. Hesitantly, I did, finding myself face to face with his erection. "Touch it." I hesitated again and got slapped. When my vision stopped swimming, I did, feeling sick when it twitched. "Now put it into your mouth and suck." I swallowed, horrified, but did what he told me to. My heart was pounding erratically, I was so scared. He grasped the back of my head, forcing more of himself on me, making me gag, and unable to breathe, but he didn't stop for moments longer.

When I was finally pushed away, back down onto the bed, all I could do was cough and gasp for air. I didn't take notice of what Vexen was doing until my legs were raised to my chest and thrown over his shoulders. I felt him press against me, and my entire world seemed to stop, just before he forced himself into me as roughly as possible.

I screamed and screamed and screamed with every movement until I couldn't anymore and all I could do was cry as he raped me a total of four times throughout the day. When it was over he told me to get dressed because my father was coming for me. All I could do was lay there, like an empty shell- a figment of the person I'd been.

"I'll give you some privacy since it's your birthday…" he said, trailing off as he bent down, kissing me one more time. I didn't resist. I couldn't. "Bye, Roxas," he whispered inches away, "I'll see you tomorrow, and the next day, and the next until I'm tired of you. I think we'll have quite a bit of fun together." I held back, masking how I was feeling, until he was gone and had shut the door behind himself then covered myself with a blanket and cried myself to sleep.

xXx

I woke to Axel shaking me, looking terrified.

"Oh thank God, you were screaming and screaming and I couldn't wake you up!" I hugged him, crying uncontrollably. "Rox? What's wrong? Roxas?" He asked, but all I could do was cry. After about ten minutes, he pulled back and made me look at him. "What happened, sweetheart?" He asked carefully. I shook my head and he sighed, pressing his forehead to mine.

I looked down, flooded with all of the new memories we'd made together, remembering how he'd been so patient and so kind and so loving to me in every single one, knowing he'd always been like that. He had to have, in order to help me through my past. He could have had anyone, too; but he chose me.

"I…" I whispered after a long time, "I don't deserve you."

"…what are you talking about?"

"I mean it, Axel! I don't deserve you…" he raised my chin, making me look him in the eye.

"Care to explain?" It was a simple question, no emotion behind it whatsoever.

"I had to have been such a mess when you came into my life. I _still_ am! You shouldn't have to deal with tha-" I began, forced to stop when his lips pressed to mine firmly. I froze, reminding myself over and over that it was only Axel, but still began to shake, trembling until his lips began to move against mine. I reached up uncertainly, feeling my hands trembling just before weaving them into his fiery hair. He deepened the kiss, and I closed my eyes, feeling my mind go blank.

"Damn it Roxas," he said angrily once he'd pulled away, still cradling my face in his hands. I looked up at him, a little frightened by his tone. "I love you… I love you so much and I'll never stop. You are perfect for me and nothing's ever going to change that!" I looked away and he sighed. "Look, I don't know what you remembered, but obviously you remembered something. I won't pry, so long as you promise to tell me when you're ready." I closed my eyes, nodding.

"Okay…" I whispered in agreement.

xXx

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. All I wanted to do was cry and have Axel hold me. So, our day started at three in the morning and he held me for the first two hours of it. After, we decided to eat our leftovers, since we'd skipped supper last night.

Axel seemed to be doing as he said he would by avoiding whatever had upset me, since I clearly didn't want to talk about it at the moment. Eventually, I allowed him to lead me to the living room, nodding when he told me I could wait there for him to get the food ready if I wanted to. I watched him go then closed my eyes for a long moment.

I felt empty, sitting there on the couch as Axel reheated our food from the night before and found myself leaning back and shuddering. I supposed it was fair of him for wanting to keep the truth from me after all…

Ater another moment, I reopened my eyes, staring blankly at the living room wall, my gaze never wavering, even as Axel entered the room and sat beside me. He set the food down and leant back so that we were in the same position before grasping my hand.

"Are you still hungry?"

"Yeah," I murmured.

"Alright."

My gaze shifted down to my food and I reluctantly picked it up. "What is it?" I asked, pulling my hand away.

"Chicken-broccoli alfredo. If you don't like it, I'll share mine with you."

"I'm sure it's fine," I replied, taking a bite and nodding. Axel nodded too before picking up his food and doing the same. "Do I get this a lot?"

"You always seem to get a variety, but I've noticed that you've gotten this a few times."

"I'm glad you bothered noticing," I said, looking up at him. Axel laughed.

"I'm pretty perceptive… and I know almost everything you do."

"That must suck if I want to surprise you…" I said trailing off as something began to come back to me…

_I waited until Axel was gone for business for at least a week when I got the call- pretending to be sick or something else like that wouldn't do, since he'd be at my side constantly. Then I dressed as casually as possible, after concealing a fair amount of cash that I'd been earning then left the house, and began to walk._

_A mile later, I hailed a taxi and went a couple of hours away to familiar town, Radiant Garden, and into a familiar store. The store owner smiled and I greeted him._

"_Good morning, Cid."_

"_Hello, Roxas! How are you today?" My smile widened._

"_Perfect. Is it ready?"_

"_Yes sir, it sure is," he said nodding and reaching for his keys. I watched as he unlocked a drawer and pulled out a small black box. Cid handed it to me and I opened it, smiling. "What do y'think?" _

"_It's wonderful," I replied, looking down at the necklace I'd had him construct. It was a present for Axel- a celebration of our anniversary. Rather than a chain, it appeared to be a simple black band of some sort, but upon closer inspection, and by feeling it, you could see that it was black dragon hide- imported from the Land of Dragons. The pendant was a rare, naturally teardrop shaped, stone a little bigger than my thumbnail. It was flawless, making all the more expensive, but was worth it. _

_Cid had attached the stone to the dragon hide with a decorative silver piece that went perfectly with the stone. I smiled again as I gently ran my finger across it. It was the exact same color as Axel's eyes._

_I jumped, startled, as my phone began to ring and abruptly closed the box, placing it on the counter before answering._

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey, Rox," the voice on the other end replied. My heart began to pound… it was Axel._

"_Hey Axe, what's up?"_

"_I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming home… Something came up and everything's cancelled. I'm going to be there soon."_

"_Oh? Where are you now?"_

"_Uh, just entering Radiant Garden." I felt myself pale slightly._

"_That's… great! Uhh… I'll see you in a little bit then…" _

"_What's wrong?"_

"_N-nothing," I stammered, "I'm just finishing up something," I said, walking away from the counter._

"_Like..?"_

"_I just… well, I decided to go out and do something today."_

"_Oh... Where are you?"_

"_I'm… in Radiant Garden too."_

"_What for?" _

"_I just wanted to get out, you know, and do something," I halfway lied._

"_Oh, well, since we're both in town do you want to have lunch? I can come get you, if you want." _

"_No… I'm already uptown, so let's meet at the coffee shop," I lied, immediately feeling guilty. "I'll see you in a little bit, Axel. I love you."_

"_Love you too Rox." I smiled._

"_I love you more…" he laughed._

"_Bye, Rox."_

"_Bye, Axel."_

_I went up the counter. "Cid… I need to hurry…" He smiled knowingly and rang me up as quickly as possible. _

_Once I'd paid, and thanked him, I exited the store and looked around cautiously, hating my luck. I really hoped I'd get uptown before Axel would. I pulled up the hood to my hoodie, secured the gift, and then ran as fast as I could toward my destination._

"Rox?"

I jumped at the sound of my name and stared up at Axel. "Hm?"

"You okay?" I glanced at his neck. He wasn't wearing it.

"Yeah, fine. Why?"

"You've been staring off into space for a while."

"Oh, sorry," I said, beginning to eat my food again.

If he wasn't wearing it… then I didn't give it to him yet. If I didn't give it to him yet… then where did I hide it? I wondered, determined to find it.

xXx

TBC

A/N: I'm attempting to write more… I'm in the mode right now too! So, hopefully, I can get more stuff posted soon.

Did you like the chapter? Dislike it? It'd be awesome if you took a minute to let me know.


	15. Chapter 15

Rating: **M**

A/n: I'm sorry I haven't written anything for a while. I'm still down about personal stuff… that and, I've not been feeling well due to an ongoing urinary tract infection (5 months in a row), which just turned into a kidney infection on Monday. I went to the ER and ended up being in the hospital for three days. Now I'm recovering at home. So… I guess I haven't had much time, especially since I'm a full time college student and work part-time too.

I do have a bit of good news though if anyone cares- I'm going to be having a baby boy at the end of July.

Thank you everyone for still reading and reviewing. I really do appreciate it.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 15

xXx

I thought for a long moment. If I'd tried so hard to surprise him, I had to have hid it _very_ well. That being the case, I didn't even know where to begin to look. I also didn't want to clue Axel in. He couldn't know until the day I found it.

I took a few more bites then set my plate down and gave him a half smile when he looked at me questioningly. "I guess I'm not all that hungry after all…" the red-head nodded.

"Alright. We can cover your food to keep it warm in case you are later."

"Okay," I replied, watching him eat a few more bites, "Axel…?"

"Hm?" he asked, glancing over at me.

"I'm gonna go take a bath then take care of the garden."

"Do you want help?" I gave him a questioning look. "In the garden."

"Oh…" I replied. I'd been hoping to have some time to look. "Sure," I said, smiling. I stood, pausing and glancing back when he grasped my hand.

"Will you come find me when you're done?" I nodded and he let go, letting me slip into our bedroom.

I shut the door behind me then began to look everywhere, going through the closet and then the dresser, searching under it and the other furniture, even checking under the mattress but having no luck.

I racked my brain as I stared at the floor, thinking and thinking. Would I have even put it in here, since I shared the room with Axel? Probably not… but the possibility existed. Would I have hid it under a loose floorboard? I contemplated checking, gazing at it. It wouldn't hurt to…

I got down on my hands and knees, and slowly covered the space, feeling a little foolish as I did. It didn't take long before I was ready to quit and I had just about given up, when the door opened. I automatically froze and then hesitantly looked up at Axel.

"What're you doing?" he asked, looking like he was on the border of being amused and genuinely curious. I blushed.

"I... tripped."

"Oh… Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's been a while since you came in here. I thought you might've gotten hurt," he replied, walking up to me and holding out his hand.

"Oh, nope… I'll be fine," I said, taking hold of it. Axel smiled.

"I'm glad." I looked down, squeezing his hand absentmindedly.

"Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"Uhm… Why did you come in?"

"Hm? Oh. I was just going to put in some earrings, since I thought you were taking a bath."

"Your ears are pierced..?" He laughed and bent down, nearly closing the space between us, a small smile on his lips and then pulled his hair back behind his ear, revealing several holes that went all the way up his ear.

"Doesn't bother you, does it?" I blushed again.

"I… don't know. I don't remember what you look like with them in."

"Do you want to see then?"

"Alright," I whispered, letting him lead me toward his dresser. I sat on the bed and really hoped that he wouldn't notice that his drawers had been tampered with. Axel opened the top drawer, and if he did notice, he didn't say anything. The red-head took out a wooden box I'd noticed earlier while I was looking then closed the drawer and sat next to me.

He opened it, revealing quite an array of earrings. I hadn't opened it before because it belonged to him- and I knew that if he'd had the necklace he'd be wearing it. "Which ones do you like?" he asked me.

"Me?" I asked. Axel nodded. I peered into the box. "May I see it?"

"Of course," he replied, transferring it onto my lap. There were quite a few choices, and colors, and all of them were beautiful, but I liked the plain silver ones the best.

"The silver ones." He smiled slowly.

"You always did like those but never told me why."

"That's easy. It's because they're simple but would look perfect on you- you're beautiful enough that you don't need something to help you stand out." Axel smiled at me fondly then ruffled my hair but said nothing as he took the box, putting in the earrings that I liked and then pulling his long hair back into a ponytail.

"What do you think?" I tried my hardest not to stare, glad that he couldn't hear how hard my heart was pounding. I smiled slightly.

"I like them. They suit you." He smiled back.

"I'm glad." Our eyes remained locked for a long moment before he turned away, replacing the box in the drawer. When he came back he paused directly in front of me. "I'll leave you alone now, so that you can have your bath."

"Oh, uhm, actually I might wait if we'll be going outside.

"Oh, okay. Do you want to go outside now then?"

"Yeah… that'd be great."

"Come on then," he replied, offering me his hand once again. I took it then followed him as he led me toward the back yard. I paused once we were inside the garage and Axel glanced back at me questioningly. I'd taken notice of my work station and had begun to wonder… "What's up, Rox?"

"Axel…," I began, fidgeting with his hand, "what are my other hobbies?" He seemed surprised at the question, but was ready to answer.

"Well… Aside from gardening… you loved to paint, play the piano, make flower arrangements… draw, cook…" he said, trailing off as I made a mental note of each.

"Did I ever tell you where I learned to do those things?" The red-head smiled gently and grasped my other hand. He continued when I looked up at him.

"You learned them from my mother- you two are actually quite close."

"Oh…" I replied, feeling quite guilty because I couldn't remember her.

"You're quite fond of my sisters too."

"You have sisters?"

"Yes… They'll be turning ten next month. Do you… think you'd feel comfortable going to the party with me?" I thought about it for a moment before answering.

"As long as you'll be there… I'll be fine." Axel's smile widened and he kissed my forehead gently.

"Mm… that reminds me…," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around me," Sora and Riku sent an invitation for their wedding." I looked up at him, remembering the brunette from the ice cream parlor.

"When will it be?"

"Not until June… They're having a small gathering at Destiny Islands." I blinked. The name of that place seemed so familiar to me… I closed my eyes, concentrating for a few moments, seeing flashes of myself running toward a beach, waves lapping at it gently…

"...by the ocean?" I asked.

"Yes… It will be beautiful, I'm sure," He replied.

"Axel… I know that you did, I'm sure of it… but when did you take me? I can't remember…" I whispered as I stared into his eyes.

"We went there for our honeymoon, Roxas. Sora got the idea to get married there from you." I felt my face flush.

"O-oh…"

"We can go again sometime if you'd like to get away, just you and me." I nodded.

"I'd like that," I replied.

"You want to go to the wedding, right?"

"Of course… I think it'll be fun." Axel's smile returned.

"Good." I didn't say anything for a long moment, so Axel was the first to break the silence. "Shall we continue on to the backyard?"

"Oh, right… of course." The red-head hesitated, looking slightly concerned.

"Are you alright? You're very distracted." I nodded as I began to walk toward the backyard.

"I'm fine, Axel. I promise. I just don't want to talk about it right now…" He nodded.

"Okay. I didn't mean to pry, I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

xXx

The rest of the morning consisted of weed pulling and plant watering. It was quite a time consuming process and I think that I was ready to quit before Axel was. Especially since I hadn't really wanted to mess with the garden and could only think about the necklace. I was happy to have a clue now though... Even if he hadn't realized it, by revealing things I'd loved to do, Axel had helped a lot. I hadn't even known where to begin to look before.

We finished in time for a late lunch and Axel smiled in approval as I ate the rest of my leftovers. They were actually quite delicious, despite being re-heated.

"Axel?" I asked, continuing when he hummed, "Thank you for everything you've done for me." He seemed surprised for the thanks.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he replied. I glanced down, remembering how he'd gotten up so early with me. He deserved an explanation.

"Would you like to know what I remembered, Axel?"

"I'd like to," he replied, raising my chin, "But I'd also like for you to tell me when you're ready." My eyes met his and I could tell that there was sincerity behind his words.

"It was… of my twelfth birthday. I met Vexen that day and he took an interest in me," I said quietly before glancing away again. "I remembered getting raped," I whispered, feeling tears fall down my cheeks. "He said that… it was because he wanted me and always got what he wanted, but I still don't understand why he did it."

"I…" he said, sounding unsure of what to say, "there are some sick, cruel people out there, Roxas. Not everyone has good intentions or will treat you right. That doesn't justify anything, it's just the truth, I'm afraid." A long silence built up between us. Finally I asked him something I needed to know.

"When I came to stay with you… If I hadn't wanted you, would you have ever dreamt of doing something like that?"

"Never."

I looked up at Axel, focusing on thinking back, wondering what he'd been like back then. I couldn't remember, but I imagined that he was kind and caring and patient in order to have dealt with me. He had to have been, especially in order to build my trust.

"Have you ever hurt me Axel? Please be honest." The red-head shook his head, his answer the same as the one he'd just given me.

"Never, Roxas, and I never want to. Above anything else, I want you to be happy." Just by the way he said it, I knew he was genuine. I felt tears fall down my cheeks again and Axel brushed them away with his thumbs.

"Don't cry, sweetheart," he whispered gently before kissing my forehead tenderly. "Everything will be okay, I promise." I shook my head.

"Axel, you're so wonderful… I don't even know how to express how lucky I am to have you." He blushed slightly.

"You don't have to."

"But I want to." He froze as I gently touched his face then leant closer. "Because you're amazing," I whispered, gently pressing my lips to his. After a moment or two, I increased the pressure and the red-head kissed me back. After he pulled away, Axel pressed his forehead to mine.

"I love you," he murmured as he closed his eyes. "I don't care if you don't say it back, I want you to know because you're the most important thing in my life." Arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a hug and I hugged him back, resting my head on his shoulder. I couldn't help but feel guilty for not telling him back… but I wanted to be sure before I did. "If you ever need to talk to me about anything you remember, don't hesitate. I don't care what I'm doing, you're more important."

"Okay," I whispered, hugging him more tightly.

xXx

TBC

A/n: apologies again for taking forever… I'll try to write for you again soon.


	16. Chapter 16

Rating: **M**

A/n: Sorry for delays… My due date's fast approaching, so I've a feeling I'll be taking a while to update from now on x:

Special thanks to Hadrianus-Dark1 for motivating me (:

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 16

xXx

I soon found myself in our bedroom, wanting to get cleaned up- I'd gotten filthy from doing yard work and cleaning up the garden. Axel had too… but had said that he would use the other bathroom to shower. I was fine with that because I wanted to be alone for a while. Although I had a distraction now… it was still hard not to think about what I'd remembered last night. I picked out some clothes and headed for the bathroom.

Upon entering, I turned to set my clothes on the counter but paused when I saw something black in my peripheral vision. I looked up into the mirror and froze, feeling my eyes widen in both fear and shock as my heart began to pound. There was another figure standing behind my reflection in the mirror. One I had been dying to know about until last night. Our eyes locked and I dropped my clothes before backing away, completely terrified.

"V-Vexen?" I whispered in shocked disbelief. The blond behind my doppelganger smirked and I swallowed involuntarily as he looked me over. He frowned when he took notice of my left hand. I began to shake and played with the rings nervously before glancing behind me. There was nothing there. "W-what do you want..?" I asked, heart pounding wildly, but when I looked into the mirror again, he was gone.

Hesitantly, I approached the counter and then reached out and touched the mirror, feeling the smooth, cool surface underneath my fingertips. "What do you want?" I whispered, "Why did you appear?" Moments of silence passed and I felt anger and resentment building up. "Answer me!" I yelled, banging my fist against the reflective surface as something inside demanded to know.

I stood there for a few more moments, finally about to turn away, but grasped either side of my head instead when it began to pound, and a horrendous amount of pain resonated throughout my entire body. My vision began to swim and I collapsed to the floor, hitting the tile hard. I closed my eyes curling up into a ball as I gritted my teeth for what felt like an eternity until the pain began to ebb just before it faded away completely. When I reopened them, I found myself in front of my father, unable to comprehend why.

So far, I'd only been able to remember things and experience them first hand while asleep… so it made no sense... _"Please!"_ I found myself begging, unable to stop myself, "I'll behave and go with you and will do whatever whoever you take me to tells me to, just please, I don't want to see Vexen! Not today…" Regardless… it still seemed to be happening…

My mind began to race, wondering what was happening, just before I began to remember more and realized what I needed to know.

It was Friday, January 13th, but more importantly, it was my sixteenth birthday… and I couldn't handle getting raped by Vexen for the fourth birthday in a row. "Please…" I whispered on the verge of tears.

"Roxas…" he replied, "It'd be rude of me to change our plans now, especially since Vexen specifically requested you." He always had, ever since that first time, keeping the memory and the pain alive.

"Please…" I whispered, beginning to cry, "I'll do whatever you want. _Please_…" He sighed, seeming like he was attempting to be patient with me.

"Fine, I'll see if Seifer wants you today… _because_ it's your birthday and _if_ you behave." I blinked in shocked surprise, thanking him. He muttered 'sure' before leaving my room and locking the door behind him. I silently prayed to some higher power, hoping that Seifer would.

After at least two hours, I heard him returning and I sat on my bed anxiously. He looked at me, seemingly annoyed when he saw me watching him.

"_What?"_

"What did Seifer say?"

"To bring you by- looks like you're getting what you want." I closed my eyes, nodding and feeling a wave of relief. "Let's go."

"Okay," I murmured, planning on upholding my end of our bargain; perhaps I would see Vexen less in the future if I did. We ended up walking to a hotel and I couldn't help but look at my dad questioningly.

"He's here on business," he replied to my look. I nodded before we went inside. We took the elevator then walked a short distance to a room- 117. My father knocked and I glanced elsewhere as the door was answered. Soon after, we were led inside and I went into the bedroom and sat on the bed as they talked in the other room.

The room was beautiful- grand and elegant, I noticed as I sat there, alone for the moment. The furniture was ornate and beautifully detailed and the room was done in shades of red with gold as the accent color. There was also a small chandelier hanging from the ceiling and dark hardwood floors. I smiled slightly, enjoying it just before I heard the door open and then close. Seifer joined me shortly after. I hesitated for a moment before looking at him. Not knowing what to say, I remained silent as he came closer to me, slowly closing the distance between us.

"Hello, Roxas." I dared to look up at him, staring into his icy blue eyes.

"Hello," I murmured. He smirked.

"I hear that you requested me for your birthday." I nodded, feeling uncomfortable.

"Yes…" The bed shifted, and my gaze followed him as he sat beside me.

"Not going to pass out on me this time, are you?" I felt my face flush before I looked away.

"No," I whispered.

"Good. I don't want to get bored." My blush deepened just before he raised my chin, making me look at him. "Now… let's have some fun. Take off your shirt." I did without question, but couldn't help but look at him curiously when he took off his belt. "Turn around and put your hands behind your back." I did, gasping when he bound them. He pulled me close and I felt a rush of adrenaline as hands ran across my newly exposed chest.

"Why did you..?"

"I like you helpless, to a certain extent." I swallowed, just before he kissed my neck. He turned me around so that I was facing him and I stared up at him, uncertainly. The older blond grasped the back of my neck, pulling me into a kiss. When I trembled but didn't respond otherwise, he broke away. "Participate," he breathed, before pressing his lips to mine again. After a moment, I did, feeling disgusted with myself, especially when he deepened the kiss.

Soon, I found myself on my back and he was climbing on top of me, hands roaming. I closed my eyes as he fumbled with my pants, starting to unbutton them but watched as he pulled back to breathe and honestly wished I wasn't about to remember this.

He bent back down, but ended up hesitating when there was a knock on the door. He sighed, annoyance flashing in those icy eyes when it persisted. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." I nodded, doubting I could anyway, and lay there helplessly as he walked away, listening carefully and trying to catch my breath as I heard the door open.

"Vexen?" Seifer questioned, sounding surprised. My eyes widened and I felt myself go cold. "What brings you to my room tonight?"

"After our meeting, I heard a rumor," he replied. His voice sounded business-like.

"Oh?"

"Yes. Do you mind if I come in for a moment to discuss it with you?"

"I'd love to, but I'm busy."

"You're too busy to discuss something important with your new partner?" Seifer hesitated.

"Well… I guess it can wait. Come in." I immediately tried to sit up, to move, wanting to hide, but couldn't. I froze as footsteps approached. Both blonds rounded the corner and I felt my face pale when green eyes met mine. A look I'd never seen before came across their owner's face. It looked like a mix of anger and disappointment. "I hope you don't mind- I have a guest," Seifer said, smirking slightly.

"Actually, I'd heard." My eyes widened as I watched him pull out a knife.

"No!" I yelled just before he fisted the blond's hair and pressed it to Seifer's neck.

"Too bad for you that you stole him from me. I'd thought you'd be a promising addition." I stared in both fear and shock as he slit the other male's throat then let him fall to the floor. Vexen dropped the knife and then stepped over the flailing, soon-to-be corpse before approaching me slowly. He stopped in front of me and crouched down. "It was nice of him to leave you all tied up and ready for the taking though, wasn't it, Roxas?" I began to shake.

"Stay away from me!" I yelled. He chuckled amusedly before grasping a handful of hair and pulling hard.

"And what will you do if I don't?" I glared at him then spit in his face. I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth as he pulled me up by my hair, making both of us stand. "Bad choice," he whispered, his voice dangerous. I remained silent as he let go, calmly wiped it off, and then slapped me hard enough to send me to the ground.

I lay there for a moment or two, stunned. My senses came rushing back however, when he pushed me onto my back with his foot then sat on top of me and straddled my hips. I began to kick violently and scream for help, but was cut off when hands pressed to my neck, cutting off my airflow and choking me.

"Do you want this to be our last night together? Because it can be quite easily." My heart pounded painfully as I began to see spots in my vision and I shook my head as much as I could. He let go and I coughed violently, gasping for air. I was forced to focus on him when he grasped my chin so hard I was certain it'd bruise. "For your defiance, I will make sure that you will not enjoy what I'm about to do to you in the slightest. Fight me again and I'll make sure that you regret it."

I lay there, helpless and trying not to show how much I did _not_ enjoy it as he touched me, kissed me, then flipped me over onto my stomach and made me look at Seifer as he ripped my clothes off of my body and took me as roughly as possible on the cold hard floor. I closed my eyes, fighting tears and biting my lower lip. I hated this memory the most, and soon I couldn't hold back and was screaming…

_ "Stop!"_ I took a few deep breaths as everything seemed to slow down before reopening my eyes. "I don't want to remember any more…" I whispered almost inaudibly.

The memory around me faded away, a new reality coming into view, gradually replacing it. My hands were freed and I was no longer lying on the floor. Before I could even look around, however, hands grasped me from behind and I cried out in alarm.

"You were foolish back then, thinking that you could escape me. You're naïve to think that you ever can now." I felt myself go cold at both the words and that voice.

"Is that why you made me remember that?" I asked, "Or was it out of spite?"

I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise at the humorless laugh he gave in response. "You were always such a clever child," he replied, twisting me around sharply, making me face him. I felt myself trembling, but didn't look away from his face as he stared into my eyes. "And now your beauty matches," he murmured absentmindedly, raising a hand to my face. I recoiled, quickly backing away.

Vexen watched me closely, predatorily, his eyes never leaving mine. "Why are you haunting me? Move on! You're dead." He laughed again, but this time it was as if I'd just said the funniest thing in the world.

"Why would I do such a thing? You're mine. Get used to it."

"I'm Axel's!" An ugly frown crossed Vexen's face.

"I wonder how Axel would feel if you never woke up again."

"Wh-what?"

"I can keep you here. I can make you remember all of those things you were just _dying_ to know." I felt myself shaking.

"No!" A cruel smirk slowly came to his lips.

"I thought you didn't want to hide from the past." I swallowed, remembering my own words …and ignorance.

"I don't, but I don't want to stay here," I replied, forcing myself to remain calm. He laughed as if he could see right through my façade.

"Fair enough. Either way, I'm going to reeducate you."

xXx

I opened my eyes, confused and terrified when I realized that I was strapped down and there was something around my neck, limiting my mobility. I panicked further when I saw strangers surrounding me and desperately tried to free myself as I closed my eyes, beginning to scream for Axel.

Hands grasped my shoulders and I shook, completely terrified. "Roxas, it's okay, I'm right here," a familiar voice said soothingly, "it's okay now." I opened my eyes, beginning to cry and Axel pressed his forehead to mine. "It'll be alright honey," he whispered.

"W-where am I?"

"We're in an ambulance, on the way to the hospital," he said softly, looking into my eyes.

"Why?"

"You must have collapsed in the bathroom… because I found you on the floor. I couldn't wake you up, and I didn't want to hurt you, so I called 911." I cried harder, not wanting to tell him why.

"I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay, it's not your fault, but I want to see if the doctor knows why it happened, okay?"

"Okay…"

-TBC-

A/n: Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks.


	17. Chapter 17

Rating: **M**

A/n: Thank you to everyone who reviewed last time and for patiently waiting for an update (:

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 17

xXx

We arrived at the hospital and, after waiting in the emergency room for quite a while, the doctor examined me but there was nothing wrong besides a bump on my head and a couple of bruises. In the end, he concluded that my collapsing was probably due to stress or from over-exerting myself. Or even a combination of the two. Only I knew the real reason.

They kept me for a few hours to observe me after that and then, when they finally released me, I sat next to Axel in the waiting room as we waited for one of his friends to come and get us. All I currently knew about the man was that his name was Xaldin. I was sure I'd probably known him before too, just couldn't remember him now.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," I murmured as I stared down at my feet. The red-head had been overly quiet ever since we'd arrived and still looked extremely anxious, even though he'd been told that I'd be okay. It made me feel extremely guilty. Axel halfway smiled at me.

"I'm just happy that you're alright. For the most part anyway," he murmured, gently touching the top of my head before brushing my bangs out of my eyes. I nodded silently and he went quiet for a moment, looking like he was thinking hard about something. "Have I been stressing you out?" I stared at him like he was crazy.

"What? No!" His eyes locked with mine and he looked uncertain. "Why would you even think that?" Axel shrugged before glancing elsewhere.

"I just don't want there to be any unnecessary harm done to you," he replied before going silent. "Was it Reno?" He watched as I shook my head. "How about that …unpleasant… memory?"

"I'd actually been doing a good job of keeping that out of my mind," I said quietly. The red-head glanced away and scratched the back of his head.

"Sorry." I rested my hand on his leg, making him look at me again.

"It's alright." His hand found mine and I halfway smiled but glanced away before speaking again. "Axel I…" I started before hesitating, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"What is it?" I hesitated again then began to chew on my lower lip nervously. "You can tell me, I promise." I glanced up at him again.

"I'm grateful that you care… but I don't want to talk about it. I'll be okay." He nodded slowly after a moment.

"Alright."

We didn't really speak after that, and I began to wonder if I'd upset him. The horrible, gnawing feeling was eating away at me and I found myself dying to know. Before I could ask though, someone entered the building that looked terribly familiar.

He was dressed casually, wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt with some sort of logo on it, but had eye-catching long black hair and although I couldn't see them yet, I somehow knew that his eyes were blue. The man looked around for a moment and when he spotted us, he smiled and then waved. I knew that he was Xaldin the moment he did.

"Looks like he's here," Axel commented. "Ready to go?" I nodded and he let go of my hand just before we both stood. Xaldin waited as we approached. His smile broadened when Axel paused a few feet in front of him. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"Not a problem Axe, I'm happy to help out," He replied before glancing at me. He smiled again when he saw me watching him curiously. "Hey Rox, good to see you… It's been a while." I nodded, still trying to place him.

"Likewise…" I murmured before glancing away because I was certain I'd been staring and I didn't want to seem rude.

"Roxas," the raven-hair said, making me look up at him, "up for some ice cream, kiddo?" I frowned, certain he was just trying to break the ice, but still disliked his terminology. I felt an unfamiliar spark of anger come out of nowhere and was speaking before I could really stop myself.

"I'm not a kid!" Axel looked like he was more than surprised by both my reaction and when I proceeded to pout at Xaldin who seemed far too amused by my outburst. There was also a familiar look in his eyes, as if he'd teased me about this before. I didn't doubt it.

"Relax, I'm just teasing," he replied. "It'll be my treat," he said coaxingly. Axel grasped my hand and I looked up at him.

"How about it?" he asked quietly. I shrugged before looking away.

"I'd… actually just like to go home." I admitted before glancing at Xaldin again. "Thank you anyway."

"Maybe another time?" Axel suggested. I nodded.

"Sure."

xXx

The ride home wasn't long, and something felt vaguely familiar about it but I couldn't seem to pinpoint what it was exactly.

Axel sat beside me in the back, glancing out the window as we rode in silence. He still seemed to be thinking hard about something… and I was nearly certain that it was because I'd collapsed. The red-head must've been as preoccupied as he looked because he completely spaced off that we'd returned home until I pointed it out. He murmured an apology before getting out, going around and opening the door for me.

"Axel… are you alright?" I asked, once he'd helped me up. He nodded.

"Can I talk to you once we're inside?"

"Of course," I replied, wondering if he was okay. His behavior was beginning to worry me. He nodded then left me to talk to Xaldin for a moment or two. I didn't really know what to do while I was waiting, and since I didn't know how long he'd take, I went inside without him.

I shut the door behind me then leaned back against the entry way's closet door and sighed heavily, wondering what would come next. I shuddered as I remembered Vexen's promise and vaguely wondered why he'd let me wake up. He _had_ said 'I can keep you here', after all… I closed my eyes. Just remembering that statement made me feel sick.

I jumped, startled when I heard the front door open but calmed as Axel entered the house and apologized for scaring me. He shut the door as I told him it was alright and then the red-head hesitated. Our eyes locked just before he spoke.

"Are _you_ alright Roxas? You seem upset." I felt my face redden.

"I… yes. I'll be fine, Axel. I was mostly worried that I'd upset you." He nodded, seeming uncertain. "Can I ask a favor?"

"Anything." I approached him slowly before wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tightly.

"Will you stay close to me? I don't want to be apart from you."

"That shouldn't be an issue," he murmured into my hair before hugging me back. "But may I ask why?" I looked up at him and when he rested his forehead against mine, I bit my lower lip.

"I don't want to collapse again… and what if I do and don't wake up again? I want to have spent as much time with you as possible." He looked disturbed by what I'd said.

"Why would you even _think_ something like that?" My face flushed and I turned my head away. His hands found my shoulders and squeezed slightly. "What do you know that you aren't telling me?" I stared up at him, eyes widened.

"Nothing! I'm just trying to be logical…" Axel watched me for a while then sighed heavily. "What?" I asked as he pulled away, already missing his comforting embrace.

"I don't like it when you lie to me," he replied, crossing his arms. He continued before I could have the chance to deny it. "I'm not going to hold you accountable, because you don't need stress right now, but, I'm making you aware that I know the difference." I swallowed, feeling extremely guilty. He seemed disappointed in me.

"Maybe I just want to protect _you_ from something this time." His expression softened.

"You don't need to protect me, Roxas."

"I want to!"

"I'd rather help you than be left in the dark. I don't want you to be alone in this."

"But I don't like hurting you… and I don't like scaring you."

"'Scared' was an understatement when I found you earlier." I ducked my head down, feeling overwhelmingly guilty. Axel shook his head before closing his eyes, "Do you _really_ think that I won't be hurt if something happens to you and it could have been prevented?"

I glanced away, staring at his reflection in a nearby mirror, not wanting to look at him directly. "No…" I whispered. I watched as he drew me into his arms once again and felt the familiar, comforting, weight of his chin resting on top of my head shortly after. He reopened his eyes, watching me silently.

"Will you tell me?" I bit my lower lip. "Please…?" I went silent for a long time before deciding that maybe it _would_ be better…

"It's…" I whispered, staring into the mirror absentmindedly, curious when I saw a flicker of movement in it, "Axel, I'm starting to-" I began, stopping mid-sentence when Vexen appeared right beside my reflection, about a foot away. I felt myself go cold and stared wide-eyed as he tsked silently and shook his head. My heart began to race as he pressed a finger to his lips, and then against my doppelganger's, signaling silence. I cried out in alarm when I felt the corresponding pressure against my lips and quickly pulled away from Axel, backing away until I hit the opposite wall.

"Roxas?" I stared up at Axel, impossibly wide-eyed. His eyes were just as wide as mine. "What's wrong?" I glanced into the mirror once again. Vexen was watching me, smirking wildly. Axel followed my gaze to the mirror and then stared at me questioningly. He didn't see it. I shook my head then took off, running to our bedroom and shutting the door behind me as he continued to call out to me.

The first thing I did was glance into a mirror. I felt myself trembling as I did; he was still there. "Leave me alone!" I yelled. Vexen's impossibly wide grin widened. He seemed to be pleased by my reaction. I swallowed then approached the mirror slowly, unnerved as he continued to watch me, before taking it off of the wall and then putting it on the floor, face down. Not wanting to risk seeing him more or to be touched by something that wasn't there, I slowly made my way around the room, doing the same with the others, even unmaking the bed, taking the top sheet off and then covering the one in the bathroom. Vexen appeared once more, looking slightly displeased as I covered the last one. I didn't really care.

Not even wanting to chance looking at reflective surfaces, I climbed into our bed after that and gripped Axel's pillow as I curled up into a ball, still shaking. The familiar, comforting, scent was relaxing me slightly. I shook with renewed vigor, however, jumping when there was a soft knock on the door, just before it opened. I saw Axel enter the room in my peripheral vision but didn't look at him directly. He glanced around, scratching the back of his head before coming into the room and carefully stepping over one of the mirrors I'd taken down. He didn't say anything, just came up to me and lay down beside me before hugging me tightly to himself.

"What's got you so worked up, baby?" he whispered after quite a while.

"…what makes you think that?" I whispered back, knowing that it was obvious.

"You're shaking," he murmured as I glanced up at him, "you've got my pillow in a death-grip, and your eyes are dilated." I closed my eyes.

"I'm afraid to tell you," I said quietly.

"Why? Do you think that I won't accept you?" I shook my head, gripping him tightly as my head rested against his chest. "…will it really be that bad if you tell me?" I nodded. "Really?" I reopened my eyes, staring at his stomach.

"Yes." Axel sighed softly going quiet for a long time.

"Not a fan of mirrors anymore?" He asked carefully. I bit my lower lip and shook my head.

"I'll go take the others down then," he murmured, starting to pull away. I felt a small surge of relief, especially since he wasn't demanding an explanation, but at the same time, gripped him more tightly.

"Please stay… for now," I requested. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone," he said quietly. My eyes widened. I hadn't expected him to hear that.

"I wasn't talking to you," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

"…who were you talking to?" I closed my eyes, having a gut feeling that I would be _very_ sorry later if I told him.

"I can't tell you. Please understand." He sighed softly and I could tell that he didn't want to.

"Alright."

"Thank you."

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: I got it done in time :D –happiness-

Let me know what you think? (:


	18. Chapter 18

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 18

A/n: Hey everyone, I had the baby; named him Avery Michael—he was 8 pounds 2 oz/ 21.5 inches long and perfect/healthy… then found out that I have a rare disease brought on from pregnancy /: it's called 'septic pelvic thrombopubitis'. I'm the lucky 'one' out of 2,000 who can get it and am rather glad they caught it in time… otherwise I'd probably have died by now.

It's got me down most of the time because I'm stuck in the hospital (I'm on day 9) and might be here till wednesday or later... therefore I've been writing at night when feeling a little better, to keep my mind off of things. Enjoy the update.

Btw, there's yaoi this time. If you don't like that, please forego this chapter past the first scene.

xXx

Darkness shrouded me and I began to panic, realizing that I'd fallen asleep, despite my efforts. There was chuckling in the darkness and I shrank away from the sound but that didn't change anything.

"Roxas," the voice whispered in my ear, "what's the matter, don't like _seeing_ me?" I tightened my jaw, trying to keep from shaking, surprised when I could keep my voice steady.

"No, I don't, actually."

"Shall we remedy that?" He all but purred. I swallowed thickly.

"You… you won't change my mind," I replied defiantly. Hands grasped my shoulders and I gasped as I was pushed into something hard from behind, terrified because I was still unable to see anything but black.

"Really now? Well, we shall see," he whispered. I cried out in alarm when hands grasped my shirt, ripping it right down the middle in one fluid motion. I grasped it tightly not wanting to be exposed, "won't we, Roxas?" I looked around, even though it was pointless, trying to locate that voice as it moved away. I was trying not to panic but wasn't doing a very good job. I closed my eyes, trembling as a hand gently touched my face. In the next instant, he was grasping my hair, pulling hard, and I instinctively grabbed his wrist with both hands, trying to make him let go.

Before I even knew what was happening, he'd grasped the back of my shirt, pulling it up and tight, locking my wrists together as he let go of my hair, tying it and securing his hold on me. Then he grasped my neck, pulling me forward slightly before slamming my head back hard. I closed my eyes as my head began to throb, stunned. My senses came rushing back, however, when what I recognized as his tongue ran up my neck. _"Oh God, please, stop,"_ I begged, my voice betraying how scared I was. I felt his breath ghost across my lips. "_Please_ _Vexen_," I whispered, shaking. He chuckled.

"Your begging is _so_ moving," he whispered. "But, you see, I simply don't _care_." I felt his lips brush against mine and quickly turned my head to the side. He grasped my jaw in response before turning my head toward where I assumed he was, tsking as he did. "The more obstinate you are," he breathed, forcing my jaw open and running his thumb along my lower lip, making me tremble, "the worse your punishment will be."

"What do you want," I whispered, shuddering as I expected him to kiss me. But he didn't.

"Return the mirrors to their rightful place and keep them uncovered."

"Or what?" I whispered. He laughed listlessly, his hand travelling downward, pausing at my naval. My eyes widened but I didn't move, frozen in fear. _"I'll break you," _he whispered in my ear.

xXx

I woke with a start, quickly realizing I was alone. I sat up, immediately realizing that my shirt was torn all the way down the middle, just as it had been when I was asleep, and I began to shake violently as I covered my mouth._ Return the mirrors to their rightful place_… resounded in my mind, making me feel nauseated, I was so sick with fear, and I tried not to remember what the consequences would be if I refused.

I bit my lower lip trying to be brave, but utterly failed, beginning to cry instead. Just then, I heard the toilet in our bathroom flush and quickly wiped my eyes then lay back down, not wanting Axel to see me in a distraught manner. I quickly covered myself with the comforter before curling up and pretending to be asleep.

I heard him approach before he lay down beside me, getting under the comforter as well before drawing me into his arms. I felt my heart thudding painfully as he kissed the top of my head gently. "Did you get cold?" he asked tiredly. I felt my face heat up and I opened my eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the darkness before speaking.

"I… how did you know I was awake?" The red-head laughed lightly.

"I'd _hope_ I know you well enough by now to know the difference." I went quiet for a long moment and he opened his eyes. "What's the matter sweetheart?"

"I was just wishing I could say the same," I whispered back. Axel looked sad.

"Give it a little time… I'm sure you'll figure me out again." I nodded, before letting him pull me close. "Try to get some more sleep okay? It's not healthy to be sleep deprived." I nodded again, not wanting to worry him.

"Sure…" I murmured uncertainly.

"What's the matter?" I hugged him back.

"I'm just… too awake to sleep…"

"That's strange… you only got two hours. Did you remember something bad?" I shook my head.

"No."

"Is there anything I can do?" I smiled softly.

"No… but I think I'm going to go take a shower. I never got to," I murmured. Axel gripped me more tightly, making me hesitate.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I blushed, remembering my shirt and wondering at the same time if he wanted to shower with me.

"Uhm… w-why?" I stammered.

"In case you collapse again." I blushed more deeply, feeling foolish. Of course he'd still be respecting my space… For some reason I felt a little disappointed too.

"…oh. Will you wait for me to get in first?"

"If that's what you want," he replied. I nodded. "Okay," he whispered.

I got up, leaving him, and then went to the bathroom. I shut the door before turning on the light, just in case Axel was watching me. I didn't want him to see my shirt or to question me about it. I glanced at the, still covered, mirror hesitating before reaching toward it. My hand began to shake violently and I stopped. I couldn't bring myself to uncover it.

I gripped the counter, feeling my eyes well up, but refusing to cry. I wouldn't let Vexen control me so easily. I couldn't, for Axel's sake. Hesitating a moment longer, I removed my ruined shirt, hiding it amongst the clean towels, then took off my clothes, putting them in the dirty clothes basket. I turned on the water, adjusting the temperature then made sure that I had a clean towel before getting in and closing the curtain behind me.

I had just begun to relax, making the water slightly hotter, when I heard a soft knock just before the door opened. I felt my heart thumping, knowing that he was just on the other side of the curtain and paused for a long moment. I closed my eyes, wondering how many times we'd been in here together, what we'd do, how he'd hold me as we stood under the water, images coming back to me. I shivered, absentmindedly running my hands along my body. _"Axel…"_ I murmured longingly before I could stop myself. His response pulled me back to reality.

"Yes?" I could hear the surprise in his voice. My heart began to pound even faster and I began to wonder what I should say…

"Will you come here…?" I asked, deciding to take a chance.

"I'm right here," he said, sounding uncertain, as if he was wondering what exactly I wanted. I blushed.

"No, _here_." I heard footsteps approach slowly just before he opened the curtain slightly, keeping his eyes on my face. Our eyes locked.

"What's up?" I shivered at the slight chill that came in due to the curtain being opened.

"Will you come in?" The red-head smiled slightly. The action made my heart want to stop, he looked so beautiful, even though his hair was disheveled from sleep and he didn't look as perfect as he could.

"Into the shower?" He asked coyly. His smile widened slightly as I nodded. "Naked, or should I leave my boxers on?" I blushed.

"Whatever you want." Axel shook his head.

"No, I want you to be comfortable with the decision." My blush deepened as he made me admit what I wanted.

"…naked."

"Alright. Close the curtain, if you want," he said stepping back. His eyes never left mine as I chose not to and he took off his shirt, revealing his nicely-defined upper body. I swallowed, trying to keep my eyes on his face as he removed the rest of his clothes slowly before stepping out of them. He stepped toward me, but didn't enter the shower just yet, grasping both the side of the wall and the curtain rod, leaning in dangerously close. "Not shy anymore?" he asked gently.

I hesitated for a moment or two and silence enveloped us. The only sound in the room was our breathing and the patter of water hitting the bottom of the bathtub. "Not as badly," I whispered. Axel's expression softened ever so slightly.

"Good," he murmured back.

"Yeah… good," I said in agreement. "Are you, um coming in?"

"Patience," he murmured, letting go of the curtain rod and grasping the side of my face, "got it memorized?" My heart pounded faster and I nodded, closing my eyes as he closed the space between us, gently pressing his lips to mine. He sighed contentedly as he pulled away and I gave him a questioning look. He smiled. "I love you," he purred, brushing his nose against mine, just before stepping in and closing the curtain behind him. I smiled slightly.

"Good."

"Is it?" I nodded.

"Of course." Axel smiled again.

"So, now that I'm here, what do you want me to do?"

"Just… take a shower with me, like you normally would." He looked surprised for a moment.

"I'm not complaining," he murmured before drawing me into his arms, "But curiosity has me wondering why."

"I… want to know what it was like," I said softly, leaning into him, immediately comforted by the action.

"So, you're just curious…?" he asked, seeming a little disappointed. I shook my head.

"No, I think I'll feel more comfortable around you, if I'm more familiar with you," I admitted, not wanting to tell him about the sudden onset of _want_ I was feeling for him.

"Oh, true," he replied, still seeming a bit disappointed. "Well, it'll have to be the mild version."

"Mild?" I asked, as he led me under the water. I shuddered, arching my back a little and enjoying the warm steady stream.

"Well, yes," he said, grasping a bar of soap, "we've had sex in here before." I blushed, my heart beginning to race, "And… you don't love me yet," he said so softly that I almost missed it. He looked like he wanted to ask me something but was hesitating.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"You can tell me," I began, stopping when he began to rub the soap on my body. I keened into the relaxing touches, allowing him to touch me in an entirely new way and enjoying it as he washed my arms and stomach.

"I know I can," he murmured, his hands travelling lower and lower, pausing at my naval before turning me to the side slightly and beginning to work on my back, "but it's not the right time," he said in my ear, making me shudder. My back arched inward as his fingers ran along my spine and then he stopped. I watched him calmly as he did, wondering what he'd do next. "I don't know the extent of how you want me to touch you… or how I _should_ touch you," he said in an explanatory manner, handing me the soap. I glanced down at it, squeezing it gently, going quiet for a long moment. "Should I go?"

I looked up, grasping his arm gently before shaking my head. I took a step back, bringing him under the water and he leant over me, shielding my head from it, so it wouldn't get in my eyes. Gently, I began to use the soap on him, much like he had on me, slowly running my hands along his muscled chest and letting my gaze travel down. They shook slightly, anticipatorily, as they travelled lower, my fingers beginning to slide down his thighs, when suddenly he grasped my hands. I jumped, dropping the soap and staring up at him, startled.

"You don't have to do that," he said softly. I didn't answer him, and he let go as I reached up. I grasped either side of his face gently, pulling him closer to me.

"You can touch me however you'd like, Axel," I said quietly. The red-head reached up, gently brushing my wet bangs to the side.

"Roxas… how do you feel about me?" he asked, looking into my eyes searchingly, looking almost anxious.

"Is that what you were going to ask earlier?" Axel nodded. I smiled a small happy smile at his nervousness. "I like you. More than a lot," I replied, "and I'm _very_ attracted to you."

"Because of how I look…?"

"And how you treat me." The red-head returned my smile and then kissed my forehead lovingly. When he pulled back, I stood on my toes, gently pressing my lips to his. He grasped the back of my head, kissing me back, and when we parted, he was still smiling. He ran his thumb along my lower lip gently.

"Shall we finish in here?" I frowned, feeling a little disappointed. Maybe he didn't _want_ to touch me. His smile widened slightly at the look on my face and he leant closer to whisper in my ear. _"Don't worry baby, I plan to continue this."_ I felt a small flutter in my chest as he handed me the shampoo, beginning to wash his own hair.

"So, you want me…?" I asked uncertainly, once he'd rinsed it out. He looked surprised by the question as he reached for the conditioner. He nodded, grasping the conditioner and running his fingers along my face with his other hand before looking at me fondly.

"So badly, it hurts. Is that okay?"

I felt my heart jolt at those words then swallowed, nodding slowly. A trace of his smile from earlier returned, and I watched as he finished washing his hair, those smoldering green eyes of his never leaving mine until he rinsed out his hair. When he was finished, he spoke again.

"I'll be waiting for you," he said, smiling as he grabbed my towel. "Don't worry," he murmured, "I'll get you a new one." I nodded, watching him leave. I couldn't help but smile as he replaced my towel and felt my body tingling because of the mutual feelings he had for me and because he loved me so much, feeling lucky.

I quickly finished, washing my hair before turning off the water. I reached for the towel then dried off my hair the best I could, pulling my hair forward and making it stick up in its usual spiky manner. Then I wrapped the towel around my waist before pulling the curtain to the side and stepping out of the shower. I stopped when I saw Axel leaning against the counter. He was watching me silently, his partially wet hair was more tame and plastered against his back slightly. He smiled at me and my heart fluttered. I smiled back before approaching him and pausing directly in front of him.

"Do you love me?" Axel asked softly. I felt my heart thudding and stared up into his beautiful green eyes as I considered my answer. I knew how he made me feel and that it was special, not just normal feelings. He was also stunning, inside and out and I felt so lucky that he was mine. But…

"I want to be fair to you because that's what you deserve." Axel blinked, looking a little confused. "I… want to be absolutely sure before I tell you that," I said softly and a bit explanatorily. The red-head smiled softly then lent forward suddenly and pressed his lips to mine. I leaned into the kiss, letting him deepen it. When he pulled away, I glanced down. "I feel kind of guilty…" Axel raised my chin.

"Why?" Our eyes locked for a long moment.

"I want you to love me and I can't even tell you that yet."

"I do love you, Roxas. It's okay that you can't tell me yet." I shook my head then glanced away, chin still cradled in his hand. I blushed before I spoke again.

"Physically," I whispered.

"You're sure about that?" Our eyes locked once again as I nodded.

"Yes."

Axel's hand moved to the side of my face, touching it tenderly. I keened into the touch then reached up, grasping his hand and turned my head to the side, gently kissing it. He pulled his hand away, and as I began to wonder what I'd done wrong, he scooped me up into his arms bridal style. I gasped, clinging to him tightly, our chests pressing together. I stared at him questioningly and he smiled, kissing my forehead before wordlessly walking toward the door before nudging it open with his shoulder. I glanced into our darkened bedroom as he entered it and gently set me down on the bed. Silently, I watched him as he turned on a nearby lamp, the soft glow illuminating him and subtly highlighting his features.

"Axel?" I asked softly, by mind beginning to race as I wondered what he was doing as he got on the bed and slowly crawled toward me. He didn't stop or even hesitate, making my heart pound faster as he got closer and closer and _closer_. Before my mind could even register what was happening, his lips were molded to mine and I soon found myself underneath him, completely shocked by the way he was kissing me.

My eyes closed as he explored my unresisting mouth before biting my lower lip sensually as he pulled away. He'd never kissed me so… passionately before… and I felt myself tingling everywhere. I let him kiss me again and, after completely taking my breath away, Axel broke the kiss, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I gasped as his chin brushed against my skin, surprised by the feel of rough stubble since he was usually clean-shaven, but more so by the tremor that ran up and down my spine.

"If you change your mind, push me away," he whispered smoothly.

"O-okay," I whispered back, feeling my face heat up and wondering why he was doing this. I hadn't told him I loved him after all… I gasped, my body heating up, when his tongue ran along my neck and then he bit it and, as if cued, he began to suck harshly where the base of my neck met my shoulder. I blushed when I made a sound I couldn't recall ever making before as a wave of pleasure hit me. Soon, I found myself tilting my head to the side to allow him better access and he must have known I was pleased, because he began to toy with my hardening nipples as well. I gasped as he worked his way down my chest and enveloped one with his hot mouth.

I gripped his fiery hair, pulling him closer to myself as my back arched as I reminded myself that he had to know _exactly_ what I liked. I shivered at the thought.

"A-Axell," I whispered breathily before moaning softly. The red-head's response was to run his tongue along the hardened stub. Then he looked up, weaved his fingers into my hair, and pulled hard. I gasped shakily and then moaned again, my body submitting to him at that shock of pleasure. He pulled harder, yanking my head to the side and I felt myself completely lose control, becoming a trembling, moaning mess.

"I've missed turning you on," he murmured in my ear before exploring it with his tongue. I shuddered at the statement and then moaned, feeling a small smile form as a result. "Mm… Do you want me to _touch_ you, Roxas?"

"_Please_," I whispered urgently, almost surprised at myself.

Axel's lips pressed to my ear, gradually making their way to my lips as he allowed me to face him and he kissed me deeply as his grip on my hair loosened and his hand slipped away. Just as I was beginning to need air, the red-head pulled back. He raised himself and as I began to give him a questioning stare, he gently tugged my towel away. My eyes widened and I blushed more deeply as he touched me intimately for the first time- that I could remember anyway. His fingers gently brushed against me, making me heat up more and more. Then he cupped my groin and leant closer, making my flush darken.

"You're so hard already… have you wanted me to touch you?" he murmured smoothly. I nodded embarrassedly, pressing into his hand as he began to play with me. His grin widened. "Do you like it?"

"_Yesss_," I whispered back, my voice showing how needy I was already. No matter how much I wanted to hide it, his touch was becoming a necessity. "_Please_, don't stop…"

"Oh, I wasn't planning on it, sweetheart," he replied smoothly. I felt myself shudder at the statement. Axel, who had been watching me closely grinned a catlike grin, seeming to be pleased by that fact.

I shuddered as his lips pressed to mine, and I let him kiss me over and over and over. I was about to kiss back when he pulled back and repositioned himself considerably, pausing to sit on my legs. I watched as he lowered himself and felt my heart begin to pound as his breath ghosted across where his hand had just been. Then he grasped my erection and something warm and wet ran along the underside.

I closed my eyes, biting my lower lip to suppress a moan, but couldn't help myself, my eyes opening wide, when he took it into his mouth. My mind blanked as he began to suck, taking more and more of it into his mouth as he descended further. I watched him for a moment or two, shuddering with his every movement then grasped his hair, giving it a slight tug and he began to move his head up and down in response. I closed my eyes again, reveling in the pleasurable feeling. After another moment, he picked up the pace considerably and I found myself becoming a moaning, mewling mess. Then, far too soon, he pulled back.

I stared up at him hazily, panting as I wondered what he'd do next. Slowly he removed his own towel and then climbed back up before he straddled my hips, pressing our throbbing erections together. I moaned when he ground his hips into mine, and he kissed me deeply. When Axel broke the kiss, I gave him a half-lidded stare, ready to bend to his every whim. "Roxas…" he began, as I watched those mesmerizing lips, "this is going to hurt because it's been so long. I want to make you aware of that. I also want you to tell me if it hurts too much."

"Alright," I whispered back, staring into those beautiful green eyes. The red-head nodded then stuck his fingers in his mouth, beginning to suck on them. "What are you doing..?" He grinned as he took them out of his mouth, repositioning himself again and lifting one of my legs, kissing my inner thigh gently.

"Preparing you."

"Preparing..?" I asked, stopping as a slick finger ran along my ass. I gasped, shocked, as it slipped inside of me.

"Yes," he replied. I grimaced as another entered my body, disliking the strange feeling.

"Are you sure I liked this?" I asked, making a face. Axel laughed, thrusting his fingers deep inside, into a spot that made me writhe in pleasure. He could tell exactly how I was feeling by the look on my face.

"Very."

I gasped and then moaned as he repeated the action faster and faster and faster, spreading my legs and relaxing so that he could penetrate more deeply. Gradually he slowed, spreading his fingers in a scissoring motion, making me grimace once again. "Sorry, Rox, bear with me." I nodded, relaxing when he pulled his fingers out. I stared up at him, wondering what he'd do next. "Does our position matter to you?" I blushed and shook my head. He nodded then lay beside me, his head resting on his pillow. "Get on top of me."

"What..?"

"Get on top of me and straddle my hips." Slowly I did as he asked.

"Can I ask why?"

"I want to make sure that we go slowly." I felt my face heat up but didn't protest as he raised me up, guidingly. "Can you relax for me, sweetheart?" I nodded and as I did, I felt something hot and hard press against me, knowing what it was. I trembled, remembering the terror I'd experienced with Vexen and closed my eyes trying to remain calm.

Axel hesitated and when I felt his hand gently touch my face, I reopened my eyes. "Are you afraid?" he asked. I glanced away and as I nodded, he pulled me down, against himself. My left ear pressed to his chest, above his heart, and I listened as it pounded frantically. I relaxed as he held me in his arms and after a long time, he spoke again. "We don't have to do this." I held him back just before fingers ran through my hair, "I'll love you either way, Roxas."

I sat up, staring into his green eyes and searching his face. It was flooded with emotion; I could tell that he was mostly worried, but his features were softened by understanding at the same time. "…Axel," I whispered, grasping his shoulders and leaning back down. He gave me his attention and I pressed my lips to his, molding them together in an innocent kiss. He relaxed his jaw, opening his mouth to me and I deepened the kiss, pulling back once he'd moaned. "I want you. Right here, right _now_."

I felt his warm breath against my lips twice before I was pushed back and repositioned. I gasped then cried out in pain and shock when he did exactly as I'd told him, beginning to enter my body. He shivered then stopped. "Lower yourself." I attempted then shook my head as I grimaced. It hurt too much.

"N-no… please, just get it over with." Again, he did as I requested, pushing into me all the way in one fluid motion, making me clench my teeth and still cry out. I was surprised by both his moan and that he had enough control to stop again. He took a few breaths before speaking.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling..?"

"It… hurts." Axel smiled softly, pulling me down onto a string of kisses, each deeper and more passionate than the last.

"I'll make it better," he whispered against my lips. I grimaced as he moved inside me, beginning to pull out, and he grasped my hair again, pulling hard. I moaned and he jerked my head to the side, making my neck crack as he thrust back in, into that spot that sent tremors up and down my spine, hard. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, and our moans intermingled as he did it again and again and _again_ before his mouth found mine.

_"Axel… ugh… h-harder, please," _I half panted, half whimpered. He didn't bother asking which I wanted, both pulling my hair and thrusting into me harder simultaneously. I moaned more loudly, certain he'd just pulled some out, but didn't really care.

I watched him closely as he closed his eyes, the new, foreign expressions on his face were fascinating to me and so were the sounds he was making. After observing him for a while, I moaned his name and as his startling green eyes locked with mine, I grasped his fiery hair, pulling him up and making his lips meet mine. Our tongues clashed over and over and he pulled me closer. I gasped in surprise just before he moved and I found myself on my back as he flipped our positions in one fluid motion, our bodies never separating. Axel paused to let go of my hair and kiss me deeply.

He smiled when he broke away. "You're sweating," he commented as he brushed my bangs to the side. I blushed and he kissed my forehead as I went quiet for a few moments.

"Uhm… W-what do you want me to do…?" I asked, uncertain of what to say. Axel's smile broadened.

"I want you to put your legs over my shoulders."

"Will that work…?" He laughed lightly at both the question and the look on my face, and my blush deepened due to embarrassment. "I mean… you are much taller than me…"

"It'll work just fine, you're very flexible," he replied. I nodded slowly then did as he asked. Immediately after, he picked up where he'd left off and found myself trembling and moaning constantly as he penetrated deeper, harder and faster. I closed my eyes, shuddering as I felt him pulsate inside me, just before coming.

He pulled back slowly, separating his body from mine completely as I stared up at him, dazed. Before my mind could even process what he was doing, he bent down, his tongue ran up the underside of my erection and he then took it into his mouth. I moaned, over and over, grasping his fiery hair as he picked up what he'd started earlier. I felt myself coming close and soon, I'd closed my eyes, my back arching as I pulled him down harder just before I came in his mouth.

I knew I was panting hard as I wondered what he'd do next. When I felt him swallow, I couldn't fight the blush that spread across my face. Afterword, Axel detached himself from me, sitting up slowly and watching me calmly. My fingers were still tangled in his hair and I pulled hard, crashing his body and lips against mine. When he broke away, I held him for a long time, feeling content. I smiled as he held me back, each of us in the others' arms.

"Axel…?" I murmured. The red-head raised his head and green eyes watched me intensely, and slightly curiously just before he got off and rolled onto his side.

"Hmm?" I felt my heart pounding, realizing I'd decided…

"I love you," I whispered shyly. His lips curled upward into the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen and he pulled me closer until our foreheads touched.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he whispered. "More than you'll ever know." I smiled, holding him tightly and snuggling into his chest.

-TBC-

A/n: Thoughts? Thanks.


	19. Chapter 19

Rating: **M**

A/n: Sorry it's been a little while! I've been so busy with things… probably the most major being, I got a (very good) job in my field and… I'll be relocating 4 hours southeast of here on the 28th, so I'm trying to get everything in order… The bad news is I'll have less time, because I'll be working 72 hours every two weeks, so apologies if I take forever to update anything… but I don't plan on quitting writing, so no worries there.

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 19

xXx

I didn't even have time to realize I'd fallen asleep again, receiving a blow that sent me straight to the ground immediately. I touched my face gingerly, furrowing my eyebrows as I did, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that I was still surrounded by darkness, but this time, in the haze I was in, I saw Vexen. Gradually he became clearer and by his expression, I knew that he knew what I'd done. I didn't speak or move as he crouched down.

"Did you really think you'd get away with that?" I didn't answer, looking away and staring into the darkness sullenly. "Time to pay, Roxas." I scoffed up at him.

"You can't control me! I'm stronger than you think I am!" Vexen laughed hysterically and I felt myself go cold.

"Who are you trying to fool? Me? Or yourself?" My eyes widened slightly and I found myself realizing that I didn't know the answer to that, suddenly unsure of myself. Vexen gripped the top of my head with one hand and I began to panic, finding myself under some sort of paralysis. Just as I began to wonder what he was going to do to me, my head began to throb horribly.

I closed my eyes, crying out just before I began to relive every single physically and emotionally scarring thing I'd ever been through in my entire life. I cried out and pleaded, begging for it to stop, but no matter what I did, I had no control whatsoever. When it finally stopped, I found myself gagging and shaking terribly. Vexen smirked.

"I'll let the mirrors slide for one more day. Then you'd _better_ have done what I asked." I closed my eyes, trembling. "And in regards to Axel, don't say 'I love you', don't tell him what's going on," he said, I cried out when he fisted my hair, bending down and hissing what he said next in my ear, "and _don't_ let him touch you." Our eyes locked.

"What can you do to me that's worse than what you've done?"

"I can make you relive those memories again and again and again, I can put you in a comatose state, I can decide to have my way with you, really,_ I_ can do _whatever_ _I_ _want_ to you." I felt like I was going to be sick when he said that, finally realizing the gravity of the situation I was in.

"Now, show me that you can follow directions."

xXx

I woke with Axel's arms wrapped around me. He was sleeping peacefully and I looked at that angelic face for a long moment as my eyes welled up with tears. No matter what I did from now on, I had to hurt him. Slowly, I leant in and pressed my lips to his one more time. Vexen hadn't said that _I_ couldn't touch Axel, after all. Then I pulled away from him slowly so that I wouldn't wake him up.

After getting dressed, I went out into the living room and sat on the couch, crying silently until I couldn't anymore. Then I stared down at the floor resentfully, even when the bedroom door opened. Axel approached me, sitting beside me. I felt my heart skip a beat solely because of his proximity.

"Good morning," he murmured contentedly.

"Morning," I said quietly, wishing that my heart would stop beating so fast.

"Everything okay?" I nodded and he smiled softly, making my entire being ache for him.

"Yeah," I lied.

"Would you like scrambled eggs for breakfast?" I wasn't really hungry but nodded.

"Sure."

"…you sure you're okay?" I looked up at him.

"Yeah, fine," I murmured, trying to seem convincing.

"All right, I'll be right back." I nodded, watching him go to the kitchen. After a short while he came back, bowls in hand and once he'd sat next to me, he began to eat while I simply picked at my food.

"What's the matter?" I shook my head.

"Bad dreams." Axel grasped my free hand comfortingly and I quickly pulled it away. I couldn't bring myself to look at him after that, not wanting to see him hurting.

"Roxas…? What did I do wrong?" I shook my head, beginning to cry, and trying to decide what to do. It wasn't his fault whatsoever, but I couldn't stop crying and I felt terrible that I couldn't even tell him that. Axel went quiet for a long time as I turned away further. "I'll… leave you alone." I cried harder as he got up, leaving me all alone when all I wanted was to have him beside me.

xXx

The day passed slowly, no matter what I found myself doing, and I found myself avoiding Axel. It was better than having to pull away from him every time he went to touch me, after all. Eventually, however, he cornered me.

"Roxas, what's wrong honey?"

"N-nothing," I stammered. He didn't look like he believed me in the slightest and looked like he was trying to pinpoint the cause of my behavior.

"Was last night a mistake?" he asked softly. I smiled at him sadly.

"No, it was wonderful," I whispered back. He smiled faintly then leant in to kiss the top of my head. I turned away, closing my eyes as I did.

"If that's true… why are you doing this?" he asked quietly. I reopened my eyes, glancing at nothing in particular.

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"I just can't, Axel." His eyes slid shut. I saw him smile bitterly as he shook his head. I didn't really blame him; already, we were going backwards, just like Vexen wanted.

"I suppose you can't tell me why I found a torn up shirt hiding amongst the clean towels either, can you?" I mentally kicked myself for not retrieving it.

"I didn't want to worry you…"

"Well, you failed miserably." My face flushed from guilt and silence enveloped us. "Roxas…" he murmured tiredly. I hesitated for a moment before looking at him and locking my eyes with his, showing him that he had my attention. "I don't know what happened, but I don't like this at all. You are scaring me," he said, putting emphasis on the last four words. I bit my lower lip for a long moment.

"I understand… and I'm sorry, but I can't tell you."

"Can't, or won't?"

"Both." The red-head looked saddened by my response for a long moment then nodded before walking away. I thought about it and immediately regretted it, calling out to him. I felt my heart turn into a horrible, aching, weight in my chest when he didn't even acknowledge me and wordlessly continued to leave.

xXx

After a lot of moping, I decided to look for him and eventually found him in a part of the house I hadn't really explored yet. I'd opened doors, searching for him and had timidly peeked inside, only to come up empty. When I'd finally found him in a secluded room, however, Axel had looked very surprised to see me before going back to what he'd been doing.

"What are you doing?" I asked when he didn't speak for a long time. He didn't look up.

"Working."

"Oh…" I said before we fell into an awkward silence. "Can I come in?" The red-head shrugged.

"I don't see why not." I nodded, stepping inside after receiving permission. I looked around the unfamiliar space curiously. "If you're wondering, you never really came in here ever." My attention grounded on him. He'd pulled his long hair back into a low ponytail, he was wearing his preferred color- black, his clothing was clinging to his body, making me remember what it had looked like a mere eight hours ago… I felt my face heat up and my body began to tingle everywhere… and forced myself to respond.

"Do you know why?" Axel shrugged again.

"Maybe you didn't like seeing my ugly side." I frowned, disheartened by his words.

"You don't have an ugly side, Axel…" I said softly, pausing in front of his ebony desk. Green eyes watched me intently for a long moment.

"It's not good to assume things, Roxas." I opened my mouth then closed it, not wanting to get into an argument.

"What are you working on?" I asked conversationally instead.

"Organizing a drug deal and deciding who to assign for it. I need to meet with someone in about two weeks too, so I need to figure out where you can stay."

"Someone?"

"It's business."

"Can't I go with you?" A delicate eyebrow rose.

"You _want_ to go with me?"

"Or is it too dangerous…?" Axel blinked.

"I mean… you _can_, but it will probably be boring for you. I won't deny you the opportunity, however." I hesitated for a moment, my eyes lingering on him.

"You seem… more than surprised that I want to go."

"Well, you've never wanted to before."

"…oh," I said, grasping the desk. "I'm sorry." Axel smiled slightly.

"You don't have to be sorry."

"I know." I glanced away, looking out the window instead. "Where will the meeting be?"

"Not far, in a local hotel."

"Oh, so it won't be anything special…?"

"No, actually, it's quite elegant; I heard that there was a murder there a few years ago too."

"Really?" I asked, our eyes locking.

"Yeah. Not scared, are you?" he teased. I smiled and shook my head. I hesitated for a moment or two, something Vexen had said, crossing my mind but was uncertain of how to ask what I needed to. "Something on your mind?" I nodded.

"Can I ask you a question?" He blinked.

"Of course." I hesitated again.

"Axel… can we hang the mirrors back up?"

"Why would you want to do that?" He asked, obviously wondering what the hell I was thinking.

"I miss them," I lied. The red-head studied me, looking very unconvinced when he finished his analysis.

"No."

"But-"

"_No_," he said more firmly. I felt myself begin to panic.

"Why Axel? That's not fair!"

"Are you kidding me right now, Roxas? I'd never seen you so terrified in my entire life! I can't believe you're even asking this!" I glanced away.

"What did you do with them?" I asked quietly.

"I locked them up, obviously with good reason!" I closed my eyes. "Don't you dare let me catch you looking into the ones in the bathrooms." I looked at him and I knew that he could tell that I was considering it; if nothing else, it might pacify Vexen. "I'll smash them if I see you doing it." My eyes widened.

"You wouldn't…" Axel's eyes narrowed.

"Do not test me." I closed my eyes, feeling sick to my stomach because I knew deep down that he wasn't bluffing.

"E-excuse me, please," I murmured, reopening my eyes before turning away.

"Roxas… wait." I shook my head, walking out of the room. When I heard his chair slide back, I quickly ducked into a guest bedroom, not wanting to talk more. I watched as he passed by then slumped to the floor. I sighed dejectedly, feeling anxiety eating at the pit of my stomach. I didn't really know what to do, and it was a horrible, sickening feeling.

I was relieved to see him pass by again on the way to his office. Almost as if I'd jinxed myself though, he doubled back, peering into the room I was in.

"There you are," he murmured, more to himself than to me. "What's with you today?" he asked, pausing in front of me. I looked elsewhere.

"Please just leave me alone."

"But Roxas-"

"_Please_." Axel sighed then scratched the back of his head.

"Okay, sure, that's fine. Can you tell me sometime?" I hesitated.

"I don't know." Axel nodded slowly.

"I see," he murmured. Then he was gone. I banged my head against the wall then closed my eyes, wishing more than anything that I could be honest with him.

xXx

I lay down in our bedroom after that, hating myself. Soon, I felt myself drifting off, not really caring; Vexen should've been pleased, after all. When I finally fell asleep, I was greeted by clapping.

"Well done so far," he said, approaching me. "Shall we assess the damage?" I didn't look at him, vaguely wondering what he meant, gasping when the darkness below me swirled away. I saw Axel, working… and he looked extremely bothered. It made my heart throb painfully to have to see that.

"I hate you," I murmured, my voice full of distain. Vexen raised my chin, making me look at him.

"Does it look like I care?" I huffed and then looked away again, watching Axel some more. He shakily ran a hand through his hair then got up, going toward our bedroom. I presumed that he was checking up on me as he sat beside me before lying down next to me and drawing me into his arms, giving me a gentle squeeze. I wished I could feel his embrace. He held me for a long time before finally speaking.

_"Why… why won't you tell me Roxas?"_ he asked, voice cracking as he began to cry. The red-head pressed his forehead to mine, _"I want to help you…"_

"Axel…" I whispered sadly.

"Do not say that name in my presence." I glared at Vexen and hit his hand away instinctively.

"You will not take that from me too!" He slapped me hard, making me stagger backward.

"I'll take whatever I want from you," he said calmly, approaching me before grasping my wrists. I fought him but he was stronger than me. Vexen twisted me around sharply, twisting my left forearm. I cried out, hissing in pain as he pulled me to himself. "Like these for example," he said in my ear, prying the rings off of my hand.

"No!" I yelled, writhing against him. "Give them back!"

"What do I get if I do?" I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before hanging my head defeatedly. I already knew I wouldn't get them back if I didn't give in if I couldn't even stop him from taking them in the first place.

"What… do you want?"

"I want you to stop fighting and to let me touch you." I watched Axel for a long moment, feeling like a traitor.

"You can't take them again."

"I won't," he said, sounding a little displeased that I was making conditions.

"…okay," I whispered, "but only if you give them back, _now_." He kissed my neck and I shuddered, feeling disgusted.

"I do wish you'd say please," he murmured in my ear.

"_Please_," I replied gingerly. Vexen let go, allowing me to turn around. I held out my hand expectantly, almost surprised when he returned them. It must've shown on my face.

"Why the surprise, Roxas?" I glanced away.

"You don't seem like a man of your word." The other blond shrugged.

"Why wouldn't I uphold my end of the bargain? I think it's a pretty good deal, after all," he said. I gripped my rings tightly as he approached me then slipped them into my back pocket, not trusting him, before closing my eyes as he touched my face. I didn't move when his lips pressed to mine. After a moment he spoke. "Participate." My eyes opened, locking with his.

"I agreed to no such thing." He looked like he was irritated for a moment then smirked, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I see you've found a loophole, clever boy." My heart started to pound and I wondered if he was angry. "It won't save you, you know." I looked away.

"Apparently not, if you say that." His smirk widened.

"You're learning. Good." I swallowed thickly as he grasped either side of my face, resisting the urge to pull back. "By the way, I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do about the mirrors." I gaped at him.

"You can't seriously still expect that! Axel locked them up!"

"Yes, I can, actually."

"But I don't know what I'm supposed to do…"

"That isn't good enough; you should have never taken them down in the first place." I glanced away, beginning to panic, just before he chuckled. I couldn't help but look at him questioningly.

"What?"

"Looks like you're wanted." I glanced at Axel. He was shaking me. "Shall we scare him a little?" My eyes widened considerably and I felt myself panicking even more.

"No! Please no…"

"But Roxas, he's in need of punishment as well," he replied amusedly. I clung to him, shaking my head.

"He didn't know! Take it out on me instead," I pleaded.

"If you _insist_," he replied. The smugness in his voice made me dread what I'd just done. Not hurting Axel had made it worth it, however. I closed my eyes, expecting something terrible to happen, surprised when I heard Axel calling me instead and felt him shaking me. I opened my eyes, seeing him leaning over me and began to cry, I was so relieved. Worry reflected in the red-head's eyes.

"What's wrong honey?" he whispered gently, just before he touched the side of my face tenderly. I shook my head and hit his hand away then glanced away. Axel squared his jaw, a look of irritation I'd never seen before coming across his face. I gasped, my eyes widening, and stared up at him in shock as he grasped my wrists and pinned me down.

"A-Axel?"

"Why did you lie to me?" I blinked dumbly.

"What?" Our eyes locked and I saw his irritation morph into anger.

"Why did you lie to me!"

"I really don't know what you're talking about…" He leant closer, making sure he had my attention.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't be so cold, push me away, refuse to talk to me or even look at me or do anything you're doing! You treat me like a stranger and there's absolutely no reason for it!" I felt my eyes well up, almost feeling like he'd slapped me across the face.

"How presumptuous of you," I whispered, hurt by the accusation.

"If I'm being presumptuous, then why did you take off your wedding rings?"He asked coldly. I closed my eyes, wanting to deny it, to tell him the truth, to make things right between us… but already knew it was a bad idea. I bit my lower lip before speaking.

"Let me go, Axel."

"No! If you want to prove me wrong, now's your _only_ chance." I began to shake, our eyes locking before I began to cry again.

_"I can't,"_ I sobbed. "I'm so _so_ sorry, but I can't." His hardened expression became much gentler.

"Baby… you need to tell me what's going on." I shook my head violently.

"No, I can't!" I felt my eyes well up again, "I'm so scared… but I can't."

"What are you afraid of?" Fresh tears streamed down my face.

"The consequences of telling you and that, at the same time, I'm pushing you away. I feel like no matter what I do, I lose, Axel…" I sobbed and by the time I finished speaking, I was crying so hard that I was halfway blinded my own tears. Axel withdrew slightly, raising my chin before wiping away my tears with his thumb. He sighed softly.

"That's not going to happen, Roxas. Even if you don't tell me, nothing's going to tear us apart; I will never give up on you." He grasped the side of my face delicately, "You are going to have the best life I can give you, because you deserve it, and you're going to be safe and loved until the day you die, got it memorized?" I nodded, at a total loss for what to say, feeling my heart flutter at those words. Axel hesitated for a moment, and then pressed his lips to mine firmly and reassuringly. I froze. Vexen had told me not to let him do such a thing but at the same time, I needed it. I needed him to kiss me, to hold me, to comfort me and so I didn't make any move toward stopping him. When he pulled back, I watched him, my eyes half lidded. I'd calmed considerably from the reassuring action. "I'm sorry for being impatient with you… I just wish that you could _trust_ me."

I hugged him tightly and he made a small noise of surprise because of the unexpected action. "I do trust you, Axel," I whispered before looking up at him. I hesitated and then cupped his cheek with my left hand, running my thumb along the tattoo on his cheek fondly then gripped his neck, pulling him down and returning his kiss. I gasped as I was pressed into the mattress when he readily responded, pressing against me and exploring my unresisting mouth. I moaned, feeling my body tingling everywhere, and the lights began to flicker just before he pulled away. Axel looked up, curiosity reflecting in his eyes.

"Maybe a fuse is going out," he murmured to himself, "be right back," he said, moving to go check. I grasped his wrist, shaking my head when he looked back at me.

"No, it's not."

"It's not?" he questioned as they began to flicker more violently. He jumped, eyes widening, cursing as a light bulb burst.

"No. It's not," I replied, sitting up before pulling him along with me into the living room.

"What's happening?" He asked, eyebrows furrowing as the problem followed us from room to room.

"You aren't going to like what I'm about to tell you…" I replied before going quiet.

"Which is?" I glanced away before sitting on the sofa. He sat next to me.

"What I'm afraid of…" His hand found mine, squeezing gently.

"Go ahead," he encouraged, "I'll wait patiently for you to tell me," he urged. I looked up at him, trying to push aside my uncertainty.

"I'm… not seeing Reno anymore." He looked surprised.

"Why not?"

"Because I left him, trying to discover the truth." He frowned disapprovingly and I looked away, playing with his hand absentmindedly. "And then I ran into Vexen and have been learning the hard way." Axel was quiet for a moment or two.

"…learning?" I nodded, shaking.

"He… makes me remember bad things… and says that I belong to him," I whispered, shaking harder, "…and when I do something he doesn't like, he… he punishes me." I glanced up at Axel. His mouth had worked itself into a thin line and his nostrils were slightly flared. "That day I took the mirrors down… he kept appearing in them to scare me into staying silent. Right now… the lights flickering are a sign that he's angry."

"Why is he angry?" Axel asked carefully.

"Because I'm not supposed to let you touch me anymore..." Axel let go of my hand, balled his own into a fist so tight that it shook, and then hit the wall, hard. He was completely pissed. I could see it in his eyes. I stared at him wide-eyed as he proceeded to stand, and storm off down the hall. When he came back, he had his phone in hand. "W-what are you doing?" I asked as he dialed a number. He glanced at me as he waited for the person on the other end to answer.

"I'm teaching that asshole a lesson for daring to come into my house, even in the next life," he replied, leaving the room again as the person he was trying to reach answered.

I blinked dumbfoundedly then stared after him for quite a while before pulling my knees up to my chest, wondering what Vexen would do to me for my defiance. At the same time, I couldn't help but smile for the first time in what felt like quite a long time, wondering what Axel had in mind.

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: Let me know your thoughts..? Thanks (:


	20. Chapter 20

Rating: **M**

A/n: Thanks for the wonderful reviews (: I'm so glad you like this!

Dis-claimer: The characters- they're not mine.

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 20

xXx

Axel, it seemed, had made a couple of calls in his absence. I found myself blinking in shocked surprised when both a paranormal team and the local priest showed up to cleanse the house about an hour later. Axel interacted with them, telling them what had been happening to first the priest, who had arrived first, and then the team, who had already begun their investigation, doing what he could to help. When he was finished, he sat next to me. I still hadn't left the couch.

"Feel free to do something else, if this bothers you," he murmured. I shook my head.

"I'm afraid to be alone," I admitted before chewing on my lower lip. "I hope this works," I whispered. Axel grasped my hand, squeezing reassuringly.

"It should." I felt sick to my stomach.

"…should…"

"Trust me." I nodded slowly. It was so hard to.

"Okay…"

Our conversation was interrupted when the priest came up to us. I looked up at the man with silver hair and amber eyes. I recognized him… he was the man who had married us…

"Axel I'm finished, but may I borrow Roxas for a moment?" The red-head nodded, assuring me that everything would be okay before getting up and leaving me alone with 'Xemnas'. I watched the man uncertainly, wondering what he could possibly want, as he sat beside me.

"I could sense a very hostile presence as I went around the house and blessed it." I bit my lower lip, knowing that Vexen was pissed. "What triggered all of this…?"

"I…" I started, looking up at the man, "I lost my memory after getting hit by a car. Since then, I can see things that aren't there. Reno said that it's because I died at one point."

"Reno who?" He asked carefully.

"Axel's brother," I whispered, not wanting to seem crazy.

"Reno's dead, Roxas. I was the priest who was there when they buried him."

"I know he is," I said quietly. "Like I told you… I see things that aren't there. People who've died… and I don't remember things anymore; they make me relive my memories." Xemnas looked uncertain of what to say. "Are you familiar with Vexen?" I asked. The priest nodded.

"And what he did to you…" I nodded grimly.

"He's the hostile presence," I said quietly. He frowned.

"I see why Axel's so worked up." I nodded.

"I'm terrified that this won't work…" I murmured.

"Why?"

"Because if it doesn't, when I fall asleep… Vexen will make me pay for this." A hand found my shoulder. Something about the touch was comforting.

"Do you see him every night?" I nodded. "I'm sure that isn't helping with your recovery…" he murmured. I remained silent. "Let me say a prayer for you."

"Why?"

"I want to help you. You don't deserve to be tormented." I thought it over for a moment then nodded.

"Alright…"

Xemnas said his prayer and then a blessing, making a cross shaped sign on my head afterword with something called 'Holy Water". I didn't fully understand what he was doing, but at the same time, I felt much better, like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. When he was finished, he took out what looked like a necklace. The beads looked like they were made of white stone and were round in shape, except for one, which was cross shaped. He placed it around my neck and murmured 'just in case'.

"What's this?" I asked, looking down at it curiously.

"A rosary. Do not take it off unless you stop seeing spirits altogether." I nodded, deciding to trust him.

"Okay."

xXx

It took another few hours before the paranormal team had finished scanning the house and could review their equipment for results downstairs, where they'd set up. In the mean time, Axel had found me again, sitting beside me when I didn't protest. He took notice of the rosary.

"Who gave you that?"

"Xemnas… he said it might help." Axel nodded. He grasped my left hand, squeezing gently before speaking again.

"Roxas… why did you take off your rings? That hurts me a lot." I gripped his hand in response.

"I didn't. Vexen did. He ripped my shirt too," I said, reaching into my back pocket and retrieving them. I held them in my palm and Axel took them. "He pried them off of my hand… I had to make a deal with him to get them back," I said quietly.

"What did he want?"

"…I don't want to talk about it…" Axel's eyes widened.

"Please tell me he didn't violate you…"

"No! All he's done so far is kiss me…" I said, making a face. Axel looked bothered. "I'm sorry… I didn't think I'd get them back any other way… I don't expect you to forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive. It isn't your fault." I smiled before hesitating for a minute.

"Axel…," I murmured, staring at his hand, "will you put my rings back on?" The red-head grasped my hand, bringing it to his lips and gently kissing it. Those smoldering green eyes locked with mine.

"Of course, my love," he replied, putting on one and then the other in their correct order. My heart began to pound and I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you." He returned my smile and opened his mouth, but before he could speak I was hugging him tightly. "I love you Axel," I said, gripping him more tightly. "Please don't think that I lied about that," I whispered, beginning to cry again, "I was forbidden to let you touch me, tell you that I love you, tell you what was happening, or even say your name in his presence…" Axel returned my embrace, gently running his fingers up and down my spine and letting my head rest against his shoulder.

"I believe you, sweetheart," he murmured soothingly, "please don't cry." I nodded, crying harder, despite myself.

"I'm sorry, I can't stop," I said, laughing a little as I said it. "You've made me too happy." Axel held me in his arms and I saw him smiling out of the corner of my eye. I pulled back, returning his smile just before hands framed my face and his lips pressed to mine. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to him, shuddering when his tongue brushed against mine and then began to dance against it. I kissed him back, our tongues entwining again and again, until I needed air, starting to pull back. Axel immediately gripped me more tightly and pulled me closer, kissing me more deeply.

I trembled against him, moaning into his mouth as a jolt of pleasure shot up and down my spine before resonating throughout my entire body. The red-head pulled back, a trail of saliva still connecting us. I watched him, panting, and his hand fondled me between the legs. My face reddened as he palmed the newly hardened flesh, but I didn't move otherwise until a small, devilish, _sexy_, little smile that I'd never seen before came across his lips. It made my heart pound dangerously fast. Axel's eyelids lowered slightly, just before he applied pressure. I shuddered, turning my head to the side, breaking that connection, and he leant closer, his breath ghosting across my ear. I moaned, feeling another jolt of pleasure, as his mouth found my earlobe and he began to suck.

"Come to my office, if you don't think you'll be in too much trouble," he whispered in my ear hotly. My heart nearly stopped at the insinuation and I protested audibly, whimpering his name as he pulled away, not even caring that there were other people in the house. That small smile of his widened slightly just before he turned away and began to walk down the hall. I found myself staring after him for the second time that day, and couldn't help watching his ass sway teasingly as he walked. I closed my eyes, feeling my face redden again.

When I reopened them, I saw that he was gone. I stood, deciding that even if this didn't work, I couldn't get into _too_ much more trouble… and, for what I'd done already, I knew that Vexen wouldn't let me be seeing Axel any time soon, so I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. Anticipatorily, I made my way toward Axel's office.

My heart began to pound as I paused at the door and then I opened it slowly. I gasped; Axel had drawn the deep red floor length luxurious curtains, the room was lit by candles, the stained glass light fixture sparkled faintly in the dim light, and the original custom walnut paneled walls and matching wooden floor glowed warmly, giving it an entirely different look. I was blown away by the difference. The red-head blew out the match he was holding then put it in a crystal ash tray. He smiled.

"I see that you made it. Lock the door, please." I did as he asked.

"You… didn't have to do this…" I whispered, approaching him.

"Yes, you always say that when I try to do something special… You're very easy to please, but very hard to surprise because you don't ever want anything extra." I blushed.

"I'm sorry… Thank you." Axel smiled as I came around his desk. "What if I hadn't come?" I asked, leaning against his desk and resting between him and it.

"I knew you would."

"How…?" His smile turned into a smirk and he grasped the edge of his desk with his left hand and my neck with the other, crashing my lips into his. My heart began to race as he simultaneously applied pressure and pressed me into the desk. I kissed him back, but he didn't relent until I'd moaned once again.

"Because," he whispered, "I could tell that you wanted more." I gasped as he grasped my legs, hoisting me up before sitting me on his desk, right on top of everything on it. I didn't deny the statement, because he was entirely correct, staring into his eyes, newly at his level, wondering what he would do next. I gasped again, quite audibly this time, when he gripped my hair in just the right spot, pulling it hard and moaned when he pulled my head back, making my neck crack. My eyelids lowered and my heart pounded faster as he pulled harder. I grasped his shoulders, stopping him from kissing me when he leant down.

"What about your _ah_, _paperss?"_ I half whispered, half hissed, entirely too conscious of the fact that I might be sitting on something important. Axel smirked again, before pressing his lips to mine. After a long moment, he broke the kiss.

"I have something much more important to worry about," he whispered back. I blushed, my heart thudding heavily, just before he kissed me again. I reached out, grasping his fiery hair with one hand and pulling out his hair tie with the other before working my hands into his hair. When he pulled back again, he looked mildly surprised. "Do you like my hair better when it's down?" I shook my head.

"No, I just like burying my hands in it when you kiss me." Axel smiled deviously

"Really now?" I nodded. "Where do you like them when I'm fucking you?" I blushed, hesitating for only a moment before deciding to tease him back. I pulled him closer.

"Your back, with my nails digging in so hard that you bleed," I whispered before brushing my lips against his. His smile widened to a smirk and he let me go as he allowed me to kiss him. I hesitated as hands began to unfasten my belt and he kissed me back, urging me to participate again. Once I had, he unbuttoned my pants, dipping his hand into them. I gasped as he touched me and then began to play with me.

"Do you want that?"

"We have to, don't we?" I whispered, feeling lost. Axel shook his head.

"No, there's plenty of other ways to get off," he murmured against my neck. I felt myself begin to tremble as he began to suck at it harshly. I moaned as his teeth grazed my skin.

"Where would we…?" I breathed, almost too embarrassed to finish the sentence.

"Wherever you want." I blushed.

"The desk…?" Wordlessly, Axel gripped the bottom of my shirt, pulling it off in one fluid motion.

"You're going to make it hard to work in here…"

"Why?" That small, sexy smile was back and I heard a dull thud as my shirt fell to the floor.

"Because I'll think of you sprawled out on my desk way too much." My eyes widened and I found myself at a loss for words. Axel's smile widened, just before he removed his own shirt both slowly and teasingly. Our eyes locked as it hit the floor just before our lips and then chests pressed together. I clung to him, loving the feel of his skin pressed against mine. He paused to smile down at me. "You're so beautiful, Roxas," he whispered. I blinked.

"T-thank you…" I whispered, unsure of what else to say, before timidly pressing my lips to his chest. I had no clue as to what I was doing. Axel smiled at me fondly before gently guiding me down and turning my body, allowing me to lie down on the length of the desk. I raised my hips when he tugged at my pants and he pulled them, as well as my boxers, down to my knees. I watched him calmly as he stuck a finger into his mouth then positioned it at my ass before slipping it inside. I shuddered as he added another, moving them in and out torturously slowly. Finally I gripped his hand, shaking my head. "I want you now, please," I whispered. Axel smiled again, pulling back before unbuttoning his own jeans and letting them fall to the floor, removing the rest of his clothes before spitting into his hand and running it along his own, throbbing, erection.

I watched him as he approached me and repositioned himself, my entire being aching for him and what he was about to do. The red-head raised my legs, ducking his head under my jeans and locking them in place, with my pants just behind his neck. I closed my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek as he grasped my hips and then pressed into me slowly, trembling from both want and need.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, noticing the action. My eyes opened and I smiled up at him.

"Perfectly." Axel smiled, leaning down toward me, and grasping the edges of his desk. I grasped him, reaching past my legs and under his arms, gripping his pale back and bringing him as close to me as possible. He smiled at me amusedly, looking like he remembered what I'd said. "Do it," I whispered. Axel smirked, closing his eyes and shuddering as he pressed into me more deeply before pulling back out almost completely and then slamming into me hard, again and again and again.

I moaned, calling out his name over and over, digging my nails into his back harder with each movement. Axel only slowed when he used one hand to grip my neck and pulled me up to kiss me. I writhed in pleasure, moving with him as much as I could, loving the unconventional place we'd both chosen to do this. I smiled up at him when he broke the kiss.

"A-Axel," I breathed.

"Yes?" he murmured.

"I love you, _ahhha_-" I moaned as he gripped the desk again. He smiled down at me. Strands of his long red hair had come loose from its usual sleeked back, spiky, manner and were sticking to his face. I was certain that I looked just as imperfect as him, but didn't really care. He was still the most beautiful person I'd ever seen, and that's what he thought of me, so that's all that mattered. I moaned again as he picked up the pace, making his desk shake.

"You'd better," he joked, touching me intimately again with one of his hands, supporting us with the other. I trembled as it wrapped around me, moving even faster than he was thrusting.

"D-does it, ugh, take a lot of, _ah_, _practice_ to move your hand that _fast?"_ I asked curiously. Axel's eyes widened slightly and I saw his face redden just before I came in his hand. My back arched and I felt my muscles constrict around him, and we both moaned just before he came as well.

Not answering just yet, Axel opened the top side drawer with his pinky- the only clean part of his hand. Reaching inside, he got a couple of Kleenex, wiping us both off as I lowered myself to the desk. Then he threw them into a nearby trash can. He shook his head, smiling down at me.

"No not really," he replied casually. I smiled back.

"I see…" Axel laughed.

"Why?"

"Curiosity…" His smile became sheepish.

"Don't remember touching yourself anymore?" This time I blushed.

"Not really…" Axel laughed lightly, disengaging himself from me, letting my legs down before pulling me up. He pressed his lips to mine innocently.

"If you want to learn… I'd be willing to let you watch me," he whispered before going to find his clothes. I blushed again.

"Careful… I might hold you to that," I teased. The red-head smirked as he pulled his pants up.

"I'd expect nothing less; I did offer, after all." I laughed.

"Tonight then?" I asked, feeling my cheeks heat up slightly. Axel's smirk turned into a Cheshire grin just before he put his shirt on.

"It's a date." I laughed.

"Alright." I jumped, startled when there was a knock on the door. Axel came up to me, smirking as he paused in front of me.

"Better get dressed," he whispered into my ear before bending down, retrieving my shirt and then handing it to me. I nodded, quickly putting it on, then letting him help me stand, pulling up my pants just as fast, and refastening my belt. We went to the door when the knocking persisted. Axel turned on the light, ruining the ambiance and making the room appear to be normal, before opening the door. It was the head of the paranormal team.

"Yes?"

"Axel, we detected very high levels of paranormal activity…," the red-head nodded, indicating that he should continue. "It was worse in the readings before the priest cleansed the house."

"…worse?" The man with black hair nodded.

"There were only readings in one part of the house afterword, under the basement stairs, in a locked closet."

"What's in there?" I asked him. He glanced at me.

"Mirrors."

"It's strange… The readings were much higher until right before I came up here. I took them myself." Axel and I glanced at each other, both realizing the same thing; Vexen was still watching us. I shuddered, feeling sick.

"Thank you, Zack. What do I owe you?" The man scratched the back of his head. "Don't worry about it, Axe. I owe you for the past anyway…" He turned away. "My team and I will see ourselves out. Good luck."

"What was that all about..?" I asked once he'd travelled down the hall. They'd acted like they'd known one another.

"Zack and I dated once… I thought he was special, till he cheated on me."

"Why'd he do that…?"

"Reno was… very influential."

"…oh, right."

"I didn't even want to hire him… but you are more important than what's happened in my past." I hugged him, smiling before kissing his cheek.

"Thank you." Axel laughed lightly.

"Any time, sweetheart."

xXx

I went outside after that, since Axel had said he had some more work to do. I closed my eyes as the fresh air hit me and couldn't help but smile; it was gorgeous outside. I stretched, arching my back as I did, before going on a walk around the yard. It looked nice… but still needed some work too, since it'd been neglected for so long.

Half an hour quickly went by and, needless to say, I was shocked to see Axel coming outside and approaching me so soon. He smiled at my look, grasping my waist and drawing me closer.

"You're done already?"

"No but… I wanted to see you."

"Why?" I asked, blinking.

"Because I missed you and I couldn't stop thinking about you." I laughed.

"On your desk?" Axel smirked and then shook his head.

"No, you're just on my mind, more than ever."

"Why is that?" I asked quietly, my heart pounding. The red-head smiled.

"Because I love you so much and I feel like I'm falling for you even harder." He could tell by the look on my face that I didn't know how to respond. "Come inside, I made dinner," He continued, tugging at my wrist before turning his back to me as he began to make his way inside. Before he could get very far, I was hugging him tightly from behind. "Rox?"

"You're so wonderful…" I murmured, letting him turn around in my arms, "You completely blow my mind, Axel…"

"In a good way, I hope," he teased.

"Don't tease please… I'm serious. You're amazing." Axel smiled sweetly then kissed my forehead gently.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

"It's okay." He hesitated for a moment, running his thumb along my jaw line.

"Thank you."

"For?" He smiled.

"Everything. Now, c'mon before the food gets cold." I nodded, following him inside and into the house.

"What did you make?" I asked. It smelled amazing.

"Nothing special… just some stir fry." I smiled as he pulled out a chair at the bar-top counter for me before sitting there. Axel turned away, making a plate for me and then himself, setting them at our respective places. It looked like there was steak, chicken, onions, green peppers and tomatoes with rice on the side.

"Looks pretty good, to me." Axel laughed.

"Well I'd hope so… You haven't really eaten all day." My face flushed.

"Sorry," I replied. He smiled in approval as I took a bite. It was amazing. "I don't know what you're talking about; this is delicious." Axel shrugged.

"Well, it's freshly bought food… so it should be."

"Maybe you're just a good cook," I replied, taking another bite. He smirked.

"If it gets you to eat, then good." I blushed, feeling guilty.

"I was worrying you again… wasn't I?" He nodded.

"It's okay, I understand now. I don't think I'd have much of an appetite if I were you either…" I nodded, biting my lower lip and hesitating. "You will eat it all for me though, right?" My eyes widened as I saw the worry reflecting in his.

"Of course I will! Please don't worry…" Axel smiled before leaning over and kissing my cheek.

"Alright."

We ate in relative silence. Finally, halfway through eating, I glanced at him. He was like a dream, he was so perfect. Axel glanced at me, his green eyes studying me for a long moment. "Something on your mind?" I nodded.

"What do you… love the most about me?" Axel blinked.

"What's bringing this on…?"

"N-nothing… I'm just curious…"

"You're very curious today," he commented.

"I'm sorry, never mind," I said, glancing away. Axel grasped my hand.

"Don't be sorry." I looked at him. He was smiling down at me.

"I love who you are, Roxas. I love how you're so strong… and your selflessness and kindness, and most of all, how you will do anything to see someone smile or to make their day better." I smiled. We were silent for a long moment then he smirked. "Anything else you're curious about?" I blushed.

"…no."

"You're sure? You can ask me anything." I went quiet for a long time.

"You… dominate me a lot," I said quietly, "do I ever…" I began, blushing deeply.

"Ever what, Roxas?" He asked innocently.

"Do I… _have _I… ever d-dominated you?" I stuttered.

"Yes," he replied, standing and grabbing his empty plate. He paused beside me to whisper in my ear, _"No, I'm not opposed to it."_ I felt a tremor resonate throughout my entire body at those words.

"Axel…?" the red-head glanced back at me and hummed. "Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Me touching you?" he smiled sadly.

"Sometimes."

"Just sometimes?"

"Well, I do, but I don't want to push you into anything." I nodded, taking a bite of food and smiling. "What're you thinking?" My smile widened.

"Nothing," I murmured, finishing up. Axel leant over the counter and I looked up. Our eyes locked just before he spoke.

"Liar," he whispered. My eyes widened, "You have a lot different ones, but I know _that_ smile _very_ well." I blushed.

"Axel…," I whispered, halfway in disbelief. That was the last thing I'd been expecting. The red-head smiled sweetly.

"You're happy that I want you," he whispered. I leant in, closing the space between us, gently pressing my lips to his.

"Of course I am," I murmured, our proximity still dangerously close. Axel's smile returned. "What do you like, Axel?" He hesitated, staring at my lips for a long moment.

"I don't know entirely…" he admitted. Our eyes locked. "I haven't had many good relationships either." I nodded, understanding.

"What about what you do know?" Axel looked thoughtful then smiled.

"I like your sweet little way of being spontaneous and being surprised and… assertiveness, I suppose."

"Can I help you figure it out more?" Axel's cheeks flushed slightly.

"If you want to."

"Of course I do," I whispered. "How about now?" I asked, no knowing when I'd get the opportunity to again. His eyes widened slightly.

"N-now?" I nodded.

"Why not?" He blinked.

"Alright, sure."

"Come with me." Wordlessly, he did and we went into the living room. "Sit." Axel smiled then did as he was told. "What?"

"This' just familiar so far." I closed my eyes, feeling that urgent need to remember that I'd grown accustomed to. Then, suddenly it came back to me; the place, the occasion, how amazing he felt… I laughed. "Roxas…?" `

"So, you remember," I whispered as I straddled his hips. Axel blushed as I looked down at him.

"How could I forget…?" I kissed him, pressing against him hard and bringing him as close to me as possible. Finally, he broke away, breathing hard, and I promptly kissed him again. He kissed me back but I had the upper hand, not pulling away until I was ready.

"Did you like it, that time?" Axel nodded then smiled dreamily just before I kissed him again and again and again, biting his lower lip as I pulled away again.

"Bite me," he whispered beggingly, looking lost.

"Where?" Axel closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, exposing his pale, flawless neck. I hesitated, my heart pounding as I found myself wondering how I should.

"_Please_…" I pushed my uncertainty aside and bit him hard. Axel moaned and trembled against me. He held me tightly as I ran my tongue along the area before sucking harshly at it, moaning again and again. I broke away when I felt him hardening against me, feeling aroused, myself. I found myself staring at the bright red mark and purple indentions on his neck, but didn't apologize for it.

"Show me."

"Show you what?" He whispered breathlessly.

"How you touch yourself." Axel's eyes widened slightly then he nodded and I got off.

I watched him fixedly as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants just before he closed his eyes. It was completely foreign to me; the expressions on his face, the way his body twitched slightly as he stroked himself before finally wrapping his hand around his erection in an unnatural manner. I watched, fascinatedly for quite a long time, as he began to move his hand, his entire body shaking, before finally grasping his wrist. Emerald green eyes locked with my sapphire as I reached for him before hesitating.

"May I?" He nodded and I touched him intimately, fingering his length and feeling him harden even more. Axel grasped my hand, guiding it and wrapping it around himself.

"Squeeze." I did and he hardened even more.

"What are you thinking about?" Our eyes locked.

"You."

"M-me?" Axel nodded.

"Just thinking about you drives me wild." I blushed and he smiled. "How do you want me to finish, baby?"

"I want to do it," I whispered, holding him the way he'd held himself and rubbing my thumb against the head of his erection. It twitched, conforming to my hand. Axel didn't protest as I moved my hand, even though I was much slower than he had been. Finally, he tossed his head to the side and arched his back, making a strange face as he did, and I heard him moan just before I felt him release into my hand. Curious about the substance coating it, I raised my hand and licked my thumb, tasting him. I smirked as he watched me. "You taste _good_, Axel," I whispered huskily. He blushed then grasped either side of my face, bringing me close.

"_Tease_," he whispered back just before pressing his lips to mine. I let him kiss me, readily opening my mouth to him and eagerly kissing him back. We parted with a wet noise.

"You liked it," I whispered back. Axel smiled that little smile then took off his shirt before wiping off my hand with it. I watched as he tossed it to the side. Then he pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"I did," he murmured into my hair. "I haven't seen you do something like that for quite a while, now." I hummed, smiling tiredly. Before I knew it, I was drifting off.

"Goodnight." The word jolted me back from the near-sleep I was in. I smiled sadly.

"Goodnight…"

"What's the matter?"

"I… What if this doesn't work?" I asked quietly, looking up at him. "What if I never see you again?" Axel shook his head.

"Why would you never see me again…?"

"Because he can keep me there, he can make me sleep, he can-" I started, shaking terribly, getting interrupted when Axel pressed his lips to mine firmly.

"Don't think that. You will see me again, especially if he keeps you from me."

"How do you know that?" I whispered.

"Because, when I die, he'll wish he never ever laid eyes on you." I hugged the red-head. I couldn't help but smile.

"I love you, Axel," I whispered into his hair.

"I love you too," he murmured. "…I hope you come back to me." I nodded, deciding that even if I couldn't at first, I'd do whatever I could to make it back to him.

"Me too," I murmured, letting him hold me for a very long time. I closed my eyes, loving his comforting embrace. "Axel I…" I started, stopping when it faded away. I opened my eyes wide. I felt so alone, being surrounded by that, now familiar, darkness. I backed away, trembling when I realized that I _wasn't_ alone.

"I didn't realize you were so incapable of doing anything right," Vexen commented. I backed away as he approached me. "Do not test me further, or you will never see Axel again." I paused.

"Yes I will." He laughed.

"He's foolish, making promises to you that he doesn't know if he can keep. The realms of this world are quite different than yours."

"You're the foolish one! Axel already wants to kill you for what you've done." Vexen's eyes narrowed dangerously and I narrowed mine as well. "Again, that is." Infuriated, he lunged at me. I braced myself for the blow, amazed instead when what looked like hexagon shaped pieces of glass surrounded me, creating a barrier between us.

Realizing this, Vexen made an incomprehensible noise of pure rage, trying to strike me again and again, that force field stopping him every time. His eyes became fixated on my neck as he pressed against that barrier so hard that his fists turned white, clenching them just as hard. He banged against it. "Take it off!" He screeched over and over and over. Terrified, I scrambled backward, tripping over my feet, and ending up on the ground. Shakily, I gripped the item around my neck, knowing that it was what was saving me right now.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled, closing my eyes, curling up into a ball, and trying to ignore him, even as he refused to relent. When he was finally silent for about ten minutes, I reopened my eyes, jumping back when I saw him watching me, about a foot away, a look of pure rage written all over his face.

"This is far from over," he hissed, vanishing into the darkness. I covered my mouth, beginning to cry, more terrified than I had been.

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: Finally done! Thoughts?


	21. Chapter 21

Rating: M

A/n: Per request, I'm going to add the 'last time' bits that I used to do in Reckoning. IK I said I was going to stick to Stockholm Syndrome till completion… but I needed a change-up after a nitpick-fest. SO, enjoy the chapter (:

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 21

xXx

Last time:

_"Leave me alone!" I yelled, closing my eyes, curling up into a ball, and trying to ignore him, even as he refused to relent. When he was finally silent for about ten minutes, I reopened my eyes, jumping back when I saw him watching me, about a foot away, a look of pure rage written all over his face._

_"This is far from over," he hissed, vanishing into the darkness. I covered my mouth, beginning to cry, more terrified than I had been._

xXx

When I finally woke, I found myself staring blankly at Axel, cold and shaking from the fear that Vexen had instilled in me. I didn't move; I couldn't. I just stared at him for a long, long time. Finally he woke, smiling widely when he saw that I was awake.

"You came back to me," he whispered. My lips trembled and I began to cry. His eyes widened. "Roxas? What's wrong? Oh God, it didn't work?"

"It worked," I whispered, before an unsettling silence enveloped us.

"What happened?" I sobbed.

"He's angry because he can't touch me," I said quietly. Axel brushed my bangs out of my eyes.

"Are you okay..?" I shook my head.

"I'm scared, so, so scared. Scared of Vexen, scared to sleep, scared of what might happen…"

"I understand, sweetheart," he replied before going quiet. "Do you… need any space?" I shook my head violently and cried harder.

"I need you! You're all I need..." Axel pulled me close to himself and kissed my forehead.

"Alright."

xXx

Axel did his best to make me feel safe and wanted, but I was always on edge, afraid to let my guard down and afraid to fall asleep. It got so bad that I went four days without sleeping and I was so tired that my body ached down to my bones. Axel had to take me to the doctor on the fifth day, to get me on a sleep aide. Physically, it helped me sleep, but emotionally, I was a wreck.

A week later Axel approached me. I gave him my attention as he sat beside me. "What is it?" I asked as he grasped my hand and played with it nervously.

"Do you still want to go with me, for my meeting?"

"Yes." I didn't want to be apart from him. Vexen had left me alone for two weeks, but I didn't trust that it would stay that way with Axel gone.

"Alright, we'll have to leave tonight, okay?" I nodded. "Go ahead and pack the things that you need." I nodded, doing as he asked.

xXx

We ate a late lunch and then headed out. The drive wasn't long, but even if it would have been, as long as it was with Axel, I didn't mind. Finally we arrived at what appeared to be a large hotel. It looked familiar to me.

"Try to relax a little and enjoy yourself. I know it's hard." I nodded. "If this doesn't help, I'll take you somewhere, okay?"

"Alright. Thank you."

Axel parked and then we went inside arranging for a room. The man at the counter said that the 'green' room was open and, after confirming it with me, Axel took it. Someone took our bags to deliver them to the room and Axel took the keys, abruptly halting when someone called out to him.

"Axel! It's been a long time, sweetheart."

Axel froze. He seemed to cringe at that voice, making a face before turning around. I turned with him, curious to see the owner of that voice. The red-head crossed his arms at the woman. She was standing just a few feet from us. She was beautiful; her blonde hair was sleeked back, her low cut black dress, which went halfway to her knees, accented her form beautifully, and her poisonous green eyes glistened under the chandelier. Open-toed black shiny pumps revealed perfectly painted red toe nails and they clicked on the wooden floor as she approached us.

"I see that your old man finally croaked." The woman smirked.

"Indeed… left me in a situation similar to yours."

"I see." She smiled almost dangerously as she looked me over, her gaze quickly travelling back to Axel.

"Who's the half pint, honey? I didn't realize somebody would be tagging along with you." Axel frowned deeply.

"Larxene, this' my better half, Roxas." The woman laughed, and something about her cackle made my stomach churn with unease. I shuddered under her scrutinizing gaze.

"Oh Axel… you've got to be kidding me. _This_ is what replaced me?" Axel's gaze hardened.

"Watch the disrespectfulness or you can forget the meeting." She smirked then reached out, patting the red-head's face delicately. I couldn't help but notice her perfectly painted matching red nails and that their eyes never wavered from one another's.

"Calm yourself tough guy, I'm just teasing." Then, her gaze traveled to me one more time, her smirk widening ever-so-slightly. "Roxas, it was a pleasure. See you soon."

She left us standing at the counter. I frowned. "You didn't tell me that you were meeting up with your ex-fiancé." Axel sighed.

"I hate the woman. I don't see why it matters."

"She obviously doesn't feel the same way." Axel led me away from the counter.

"All this is, is business, Roxas. I promise you that. I can't just ignore competition. I can't control how she feels about me, but I have to maintain a relationship with her, otherwise things can go very badly. I doubt you want a war amongst our gangs. Please trust me and have faith in me just like how I trust in you and have faith in you."

"I just wish you would have told me," I said. Axel pushed a button and we waited for the elevator.

"I'm sorry… I thought you had enough to deal with." I blushed; I hadn't even realized that he might've just been thinking about me. It arrived and we got inside, not speaking again, even as we got to our room. When we did, the first thing that Axel did was take down the mirrors, lock them away, and cover up the ones that he couldn't remove.

"Axel… I'm sorry for being upset with you, but-"

"Don't apologize, Roxas. I understand how it must make you feel. You have no reason to be sorry." I smiled. He was so wonderful.

"I love you, Axel," I whispered. He smiled at me.

"I love you too, sweetheart." I smiled back at him.

"Always?" He shook his head.

"No. Much, much longer."

My smile widened and I kissed him before going into the bathroom, wanting to explore our room. I closed the door behind myself, freezing when the sheet fell a little, exposing some of the mirror. Hesitantly, I went to it, intending to put it back up, but something made me stop.

I saw a glimpse of long blonde, wavy, hair and pulled the sheet to the side. I'd recognized it immediately. I froze as I found myself staring at my mother. My hands trembled as I touched the mirror, wishing that I could touch her more than anything. She flinched away, receding into the shadows. "W-wait! What's wrong?" She stared at the rosary fixedly. "This?" I questioned, fingering it. She nodded. "But why…?" My mother hadn't been a bad person but… "If I take it off, will you stay?" Once again, she nodded.

I hesitated. I knew that I wasn't supposed to take it off, but this was the only way I'd ever get to see the mother I'd barely known. My fingers curled around it and I began to lift it over my head, to take it off, one hand still on the mirror as I stared into it, when suddenly the door opened. "Hey I was wondering if you were," Axel started, pausing mid-sentence and staring at me for a long moment. I stared back him, disliking the unpleasant expression on his face. "What the hell are you doing!"

"Axel wait, please, it's not what it looks like!" The red-head's mouth became a thin line and his nostrils flared. He stormed up to me, forcing me back, behind him and holding me there. I stared, horrified as he pulled out a gun and pointed it at my mother's reflection, "No, please don't do it, please!" He shot three times, shattering the mirror. I stared in shock and tears slid down my cheeks. "How could you!" Axel literally shook from anger.

"How could _you!" _I said nothing continuing to cry, "How could you, Roxas? You are deliberately putting yourself in danger! Do you not care about my feelings at all?" I stared up at him, eyes widening. I hadn't even thought of that.

"It's not that, Axel, I didn't even think-"

"No you did not! You need to _think_, Roxas! Not just about what can hurt you, but what can hurt me! I can't protect you if you put yourself into danger! You have to remember, even if things get better that you are being haunted!"

"I'm so sorry, Axel, I," He shook his head, walking away. "Please understand! I saw my mother!" I sobbed, "I still see her in the broken glass… and she won't come near me because of this!" I yelled, grasping the rosary with a shaking hand.

Axel paused. "Your mother?"

"Yes!"

"Why would she appear now, Roxas?"

"I don't know, maybe she wants to help me, maybe she wants to see me…" He looked back at me, eyes wide.

"Come here." I hesitated. "Please, Roxas," he begged. I paused a moment longer then did as he asked. Once I had, he went to his bag, taking out a small bottle of something. I watched as he opened it.

"What's that?"

"Holy water…" he murmured, dumping it on the broken glass. I heard a blood curdling scream and closed my eyes, covering my ears. "Roxas? What's wrong?"

"You're hurting her!" I opened my eyes, jumping back and crying out in alarm as I saw her morph into Vexen. All I could do was stare at that enraged face, feeling sick. He could change his appearance to someone I'd loved, who had died? I fell to my knees, retching.

"Roxas? Oh God, what's wrong!"

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: I hope that the update was okay. Sorry to anyone who's been waiting for this to get updated.


	22. Chapter 22

Rating **M**

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 22

xXx

_Last time:_

_"Come here." I hesitated. "Please, Roxas," he begged. I paused a moment longer then did as he asked. Once I had, he went to his bag, taking out a small bottle of something. I watched as he opened it._

_"What's that?"_

_"Holy water…" he murmured, dumping it on the broken glass. I heard a blood curdling scream and closed my eyes, covering my ears. "Roxas? What's wrong?"_

_"You're hurting her!" I opened my eyes, jumping back and crying out in alarm as I saw her morph into Vexen. All I could do was stare at that enraged face, feeling sick. He could change his appearance to someone I'd loved, who had died? I fell to my knees, retching._

_"Roxas? Oh God, what's wrong!"_

xXx

When I had finally calmed down, Axel had called the front desk, arranging for someone from housekeeping to come to our room and clean up the glass. He'd also promised to pay for the damages he'd done to the mirror. Once they'd come and then gone, he'd held me and I'd let him, relaxing as his fingers gently ran along my back.

"Roxas… What did you see?" Axel asked for the fifteenth time. I gripped him more tightly and he sighed softly. "Sometimes I wish you weren't so stubborn…"

"Do you still love me?" The red-head looked puzzled for a long moment.

"Of course I do. Why?"

"Because… I'm selfish and I don't think about you and…" I paused when fingers pressed to my lips.

"You shouldn't think that about yourself." I glanced away.

"But it's true…"

"I probably would have done the same…" I stared up at him questioningly. "I don't know if you remember or not, but I got taken from my mother when I was younger, so I know your pain. I was only recently reunited with her."

"No… I didn't remember…" I blinked, curious, "How did you find her?"

"You."

"Me?" Axel laughed.

"Yeah, all because of you." I blushed as he told me the story.

xXx

That evening we had dinner together in the hotel's restaurant. Axel explained that we would be meeting with Larxene here in the morning, if I wanted to come. I nodded and assured him that I did. Shortly after, he grasped my hand.

"Roxas?"

"Yes, Axel?" I asked, surprised.

"Will you please tell me what happened, sweetheart?" I blushed darkly, opening my mouth and then closing it.

"I… You were right." Axel blinked.

"What?" I shook a little.

"It wasn't my mother it was… Vexen. He can change his appearance," I said quietly, beginning to cry. I was surprised when strong arms embraced me as he hugged me rather than rubbing it in my face and saying that I should have known better.

"That's… cruel, giving you false hope like that." I hugged Axel back.

"But… now I know better," I whispered. "I'm so glad… that you were there… I am so stupid… I-I…"

"No you are not. You are brilliant. Don't let anybody make you feel like you aren't." I nodded and looked up at him. He smiled down at me affectionately. "Try to cheer up, it'll be alright. I'm here for you." I smiled back.

"Okay."

Our meal arrived and we talked about anything… about everything… about nothing at all. I smiled at Axel, feeling more and more relaxed around him. He made me feel so much better… Made me feel like everything was right, no matter how much was going wrong. I grasped his hand at random and he smiled, grasping mine as well and entwining his fingers with mine and it felt absolutely perfect.

"I love you, Axel." His smile widened.

"I love you too, Roxas." I squeezed his hand gently.

"And I'm so glad that you're in my life." Axel smirked a little.

"You'd better be," he joked. I laughed and it felt so good to, almost like I'd forgotten how to; but then, I was sure that I hadn't laughed like I'd used to in a long time, because I _had _forgotten. His smirk became gentler, changing to a smile. "It's nice to see you smiling." My smile widened.

"You too."

"Are you ready to go?" I nodded.

"Yeah." I watched him go to the counter to pay and absentmindedly ran my finger around the rim of my glass as I waited.

"What are you doing?"

"Hm? Oh nothing," I replied, looking up. Axel was looking at me curiously. I blinked, perplexedly. "What?" He smiled.

"You're cute." I blinked, taken aback and he laughed. I blushed, tugging at my sleeve nervously I stood. By the look he gave me, I was guessing it was a habit of mine. We didn't speak as we walked to the elevator… and as we waited for it, Axel's hand slipped into mine. The doors opened and as I smiled, we went inside, pressing the button to go up to our floor. "I can't wait to be alone with you," he said, breaking the silence.

"We are alone, Axel."

"No, silly, there's a camera," he replied without moving. "And you're shy," he whispered in my ear. I blushed. After a few moments, the elevator stopped on our floor. Axel's smile widened and he tugged me along to our room.

"Now what," I murmured once he'd locked the door, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Now I'm going to kiss you." I smiled and then stood on my toes. He returned the smile just before closing the space between us. I gasped when he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He easily carried me to our bed and set me down. A cold chill ran up my spine and I stopped him from kissing me again.

"Axel, I don't know if I want to do this… I… feel so violated… being watched… I don't even like being naked anymore." Axel's chin rested on top of my head.

"That's fine." He pulled away and then turned away, sighing softly before taking his shirt off.

"I'm sorry…" He turned back to me.

"Why?" I stared at him for a moment, unable to stop myself.

"I feel like I'm disappointing you." Axel smiled gently.

"Why? I don't just want you for sex, Roxas," he murmured softly before sitting beside me, "got it memorized?" I nodded, watching as he pulled the covers aside and then lay down. He opened his arms to me and I crawled into them, letting him cover us up. "I love you for you; I love everything about you. Do you understand?" I smiled, nodding and he held me closely to himself before kissing the top of my head. "Sleep well and be safe."

"Okay… you too," I whispered back.

xXx

I knew I'd fallen asleep when I was surrounded by darkness. I went to walk forward but stopped when I saw that there was broken glass everywhere. I closed my eyes, covering my ears when I heard the shriek from before. It was everywhere at once, taunting me, letting me know that he was there.

"Stop it!" I yelled, crying as it continued relentlessly for the longest time. When it finally stopped, I lowered my shaking hands, trembling as my name was whispered over and over in the darkness. I refused to open my eyes.

"Look at me."

"No."

"I said look at me!" I shook my head, covering my ears again.

"No!" But… despite how I'd covered my ears, I still heard what he said next.

"No matter what you do, you are mine, and I will never let you go! You will never escape me! Do you hear me? Never!" I bit my lower lip trying to keep from crying but failed miserably. All I could wonder for the rest of the night was what I had done to deserve this…

xXx

The next morning I put on a brave face to hide what had happened and soon, we were sitting at a table downstairs in the dining area, waiting for Larxene. She and Axel were supposed to have a 'friendly chat'. No weapons and no bodyguards allowed. Nonetheless, I think that Axel had something concealed on him.

"Are we early?" I asked. We'd been waiting for half an hour.

"No. This' typical for Larxene." He crossed his arms. "Most women take forever, actually." He smiled at me a little.

"What?" I asked, smiling back.

"I'm glad you aren't a woman." I laughed a little, stopping when I saw Larxene enter the room in my peripheral vision. I turned to look at her. She had on a black corset looking top that accentuated her cleavage and ended just above her belly button, a short jean skirt with a black studded belt and this time, her heels were red. My mouth fell open a little. She dressed so provocatively… and I'd never seen someone dress that way before. My eyes widened as her gaze fell on us and she strode toward us ever-so-casually, her hips swaying purposefully. Then when she was about two feet away, she stopped taking a stance in front of me, reaching behind her. I paled, pressing back against my chair as she pulled out a gun, holding it inches from my face.

"What the hell are you doing? This is supposed to be a 'friendly chat'!" Axel asked, horrified as she spun the barrel. "Larxene!" Her lips curled upward as she smirked wickedly. I closed my eyes, turning my head away as she pulled the trigger…

"Bang," She whispered when nothing happened. I hesitantly opened my eyes, trying to get my heart to stop beating so fast and she smiled just as wickedly but didn't lower the gun as Axel spoke.

"Don't you ever do that again! Do you understand me! Put that away, there are families here!"

"What's the matter Axel? Don't you like playing games anymore? I'm just having fun with the kid," she replied, re-concealing it.

"I'm not a kid." Her gaze landed on me and she smiled wryly.

"Oh good. I was beginning to wonder if Axel was a pedophile," she replied, sitting next to me.

"Larxene, would you please stop _insulting_ Roxas?" She smiled and turned toward him. I stared when she did. The back of her top was opened, held together by a red ribbon in a corset like manner and all the way down her spine and across her back was a lightning bolt with clouds across her shoulder blades. It was one of the most intriguing things I had ever seen.

"Whatever are you talking about darling?" Axel rubbed at his forehead. I'd never seen him look so irritated before.

"And _stop_ using terms of endearment when speaking to me."

"Why sweetheart? Does it bother you?" The red-head exhaled heavily and she smiled sweetly, folding her hands in her lap as she leant back. "Now, now… calm down. We aren't here to fight, after all." Axel frowned deeply. He watched her like a hawk for a long moment, before smiling a smile that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was the smile he'd given me when he'd shown up to kill Vexen…

"Yes, of course… Why don't you two get something to eat then?" I glanced away, swallowing.

"I'm not hungry," I murmured. I'd lost my appetite when Larxene had made her entrance. The blonde smiled.

"I still don't eat breakfast, so I guess that leaves us to our chat, if you aren't hungry." Her smile turned to a smirk. "Why don't you go first, doll." Axel didn't move, but I could see irritation flickering in his eyes.

"All I want to know is if we can coexist… if we can be civil." Her smirk widened dangerously.

"Don't do anything regrettable and I'll do the same," she replied, reaching out, her fingers ruffling my hair. I paled. She made my stomach coil uncomfortably. Axel's eyes narrowed.

"If you _ever_ even _think_ about hurting Roxas-"

"My… you _must_ love him." She paused to tsk. "It's not good to have a weakness, Axel." I swallowed, fear gnawing at the pit of my stomach. I was a 'weakness' for Axel… and I was certain that Larxene would use that to her full advantage. "Anyway… if that's it then I really must be going. Thanks for the chat… We'll have to do it again sometime." She smiled at me and while the smile exuded sweetness, something about it burned like acid. "Bye Roxas, this was nice." I watched her as she walked away, her heels clicking as she left. Then I shuddered.

"I don't like her. What kind of sick humor was that when she came in?" Axel let out a shaky breath.

"I don't think that was a joke, Roxas… I think that gun was loaded."

"But the gun didn't fire…"

"I've heard that she… likes to play Russian Roulette with people she doesn't like." I paled.

"She doesn't like me? Why!"

"My guess would be that you married me."

"Oh God…"

"We shouldn't have come… I'm sorry."

"It's alright… you need to coexist…"Axel sighed and then closed his eyes.

"Yeah…" he said quietly.

"Besides…" I said, smiling a little, "I had fun, spending time with you away from home." Axel smiled back, reaching out and grasping my hand, entwining his fingers with mine.

"Me too."

xXx

A few days passed and we found ourselves going out again. I played with the hem of my shirt and chewed on my lower lip nervously as we left the house, walking through the garage door, on our way to the twins' party.

"What's the matter?"

"What if everybody hates me?"Axel stopped.

"Why would they hate you?"

"I don't know… I'm just… scared." Axel smiled a little.

"Don't be. They all love you." I nodded uncertainly and he raised my chin. "Trust me, please."

"Okay." I watched him as he got on his motorcycle.

"Get on." I blinked.

"What?" He smiled a little.

"Get on or we'll be late."

"W-we're not taking the car?" He shook his head.

"Nope." I hesitated, approaching before stopping. "Trust me." I bit my lower lip then nodded, getting on behind him. Axel put a helmet on my head, pulled his hair into a low ponytail and then put one on as well. "Hold on." I gripped his thin frame tightly, clinging to him just before we took off.

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: Hey everyone, I hope the chapter's okay… I think it's okay anyway, but if I keep reproofing it I'm just going to keep getting interrupted by the baby xD; he's teething and well, wants momma.

Let me know your thoughts? And of course, please be kind and considerate if you choose to criticize. I don't really want another spiral of writer's block. Thanks (:

Oh and I apologize if I remention something; just point it out nicely. It's hard for me to remember exactly because I had more of this written for about idunno five chapters in the future but had to write the in-between still when, as I mentioned, my operating system crashed and, stupid me, I didn't save in time. There are a lot of chapters already and I apologize but, I don't really feel like rereading them just to make sure.


	23. Chapter 23

Rating **M**

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 23

xXx

_Last time:_

_I watched him as he got on his motorcycle._

_"Get on." I blinked._

_"What?" He smiled a little._

_"Get on or we'll be late."_

_"W-we're not taking the car?" He shook his head._

_"Nope." I hesitated, approaching before stopping. "Trust me." I bit my lower lip then nodded, getting on behind him. Axel put a helmet on my head, pulled his hair into a low ponytail and then put one on as well. "Hold on." I gripped his thin frame tightly, clinging to him just before we took off._

xXx

I gripped Axel as we sped across town, completely terrified and resisting the urge to scream at first; but as I trusted him, I became less and less afraid, letting go of my fears. I closed my eyes and suddenly… I felt so free. And then it was over. I opened my eyes, blinking at the white ranch styled house that was before us. There was what looked like a greenhouse attached to the side and I read the sign as I took off my helmet.

"Marly's Floral Shop…"

"What?"

"The sign."

"Oh, right. You used to work there, you know."

"No… I didn't know." Axel nodded and took off his helmet as well.

"You still helped out, up until the accident."

"Oh…" The door opened, startling me and a woman stood in the doorway. She had on a pink sundress and had long curly brown hair and striking green eyes. Before we could even get off the motorcycle, she was rushing toward us.

"Roxas! Oh how I missed you!" I gasped as the woman with pretty green eyes hugged me tightly.

"Gee, thanks for leaving me behind, mom." Axel joked, pretending to sound hurt.

"Shush, Axel! Why have you been hiding him from me? I haven't seen him in months!" She cradled my face in her hands and I stared up into her worried face. By her expression alone I knew that, even if Axel hadn't said anything, she was his mother. "How are you feeling, baby? Are you well?" I nodded slowly and smiled, unable to help myself and her eyes lit up as she hugged me again. "Let's go inside, we've all missed you so." Hesitantly, I nodded.

"Okay."

We walked through the door and into the living room. The birthday girls immediately ran to us, hugging us, while I noticed that others looked shocked to see us. It made me feel uneasy… and even as we mingled, it didn't cease… just steadily grew, and so after about an hour, I sought out Axel, privately asking if he'd show me the greenhouse, alone.

xXx

"Are you having fun?" I smiled, putting on a façade to mask how I felt as he walked with me around the greenhouse.

"I am. Thank you." He stopped and my smile widened as I realized that we were right next to my favorite flowers. I paused to smell them, loving the minty smell. "Which is your favorite?" I asked, gasping when hands found my hips, drawing me to their owner. I gasped again when he kissed my neck.

"There's no contest there," he whispered in my ear.

"W-why?"

"You're lovlier than all of the flowers here."

"Axel… I whispered back, blushing.

"Yes, Roxas?" he asked innocently. I turned around in his arms.

"It's nothing... You're just... You're so good to me…" He smiled.

"You make me feel like I'm the luckiest man alive."

"Why?"

"You're so good and giving… but equally beautiful and sexy." I blushed darkly and I could tell that he was pleased because of it.

"Sexy? Me?" I started to shake my head and he grasped my hair, pulling as he angled my head.

_"Ahhha!"_ I mewled before he silenced me with a kiss and, wasting no time, he pulled harder, delving in deeply as I moaned into his mouth. He didn't relent until I couldn't breathe, only pulling away when I pressed against him. "_Axel_," I whispered, staring at him heatedly.

"Yes, _you_." He whispered back before letting go and gently grasping either side of my face. I pulled him close and kissed him back without a second thought. "I'm so grateful that you're mine."

"Me too," I whispered back just before he kissed me again, our tongues clashing and teasing as we explored each other's mouths. The door to the greenhouse opened and I pulled away with a gasp. Axel took my hand and led me down another path where we wouldn't be seen.

"They're not here either, Leon." I stared up at Axel. Demyx, Leon and Cloud had entered the greenhouse.

"I'm worried, I heard that they'd been fighting…" I heard Demyx say.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked.

"Well… They met with Larxene a few days ago. I'm sure that didn't sit well with Roxas… and for whatever reason, Axel shot the bathroom mirror in their room and shattered it." My face flushed. Leon crossed his arms.

"Maybe Axel's sick of having his emotions played with."

"What? Roxas wouldn't do that!" Demyx replied.

"Maybe not but, he's so hopeful that his Roxas will come back that it's all he can focus on. He lets this Roxas pull him back and forth and mess with his emotions; he does whatever he says. He's even got our boss convinced that his house is haunted!" He paused to shake his head. "Axel's changing. All he focuses on anymore is someone who won't ever love him back properly. Roxas doesn't even respect him like he used to." I closed my eyes as tears slipped out of my them and slid down my face. I wasn't that horrible to Axel… was I?

"Well, I'm proud of Axel," Demyx replied as they began to leave. "At least he isn't giving up on the person he loves…" The door shut and I looked back at Axel. He was quiet and his eyes were distant. I cried harder, suddenly afraid.

"You don't believe that do you? Tell me you don't," I begged, afraid to come any closer.

"I… didn't know they felt that way…" he said numbly.

"Axel?" Our eyes locked briefly before he glanced away. He was scaring me… he didn't even care that I was upset…

"Excuse me."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm going to make them wish I changed." I grasped his wrist.

"No, please, they're right to think that! We probably look-" Axel jerked his arm away.

"_Don't_ tell me how to run _my_ gang." My eyes widened and I was filled with hurt and pain as he stormed out of the greenhouse. Shaking, I covered my mouth, crying harder until my vision was so blurred that I couldn't see and I was gasping for air. I slumped down to the floor just before the door opened and I trembled but didn't stop. I didn't want Axel to see me like this but I couldn't stop. Even so... somehow… the thought of him coming back made me feel so much better.

"Roxas?" I closed my eyes, feeling cold as I realized it wasn't Axel. All of my hopes died and I turned away, ashamed that Demyx had found me like this. "I saw Axel leave and… God I didn't think you'd hear us." Arms wrapped around me as he sat beside me. "I'm so sorry…" He pulled me against him, rubbing my back as we sat on the floor, cradling me in his arms, and I let him, closing my eyes as he said soothing things to me.

xXx

"So much for your prince charming, huh?" I sighed.

"Go away."

"You always were a stupid boy." My eyes opened wide and I turned back, staring back to where the voice came from, horrified. Vexen smirked, his arms draped around two figures.

"Now, now, I always thought he was witty."

"What did you do!" I asked, horrified.

"Nothing," he replied, seemingly offended, "I just found some old friends, that's all." I saw their faces; my father was to the right, Luxord was to the left. Tears slipped down my face and I finally asked him something I'd always wanted to… I needed to know why…

"What the hell did I ever do to you to deserve this?" Vexen smirked.

"You showed me how fuckable you are," he replied, licking his lips, "and I won't stop till I have you again, my dear."

"I hate you!" Vexen laughed and it chilled me, down to the core.

"When have I _ever_ cared about your feelings?" My father smirked.

"Don't be so stupid, boy, you always liked it." Luxord smirked as well.

"I bet those screams were fake, weren't they, Roxas? I bet you were putting on a show for Axel."

"Liars! Be _gone!"_ I screamed. For a flickering moment, they turned dark and shadowy and my eyes widened. "This is… a trick…" Vexen frowned and I closed my eyes. "You are so despicable," I hissed, reopening them. I gasped when I did. The two figures had turned into the black monsters with yellow glowing eyes that I had seen the day I'd died. "What the hell are those!"

"I wasn't lying. This is your father and this is Luxord; they've become shadows." He was smirking again. "Do you know what shadows like to do to pretty little things like you?" I gasped as their claws scratched along the force field between us but otherwise didn't move. "This one," he said, referring to my father, "likes to slaughter, and this one," he said, replying to the other, "likes to devour. There will be nothing left of your soul."

"What does that mean?" I whispered, my lips trembling.

"You'll never see Axel or anyone else you love again." He leant closer. "It will be like you never existed."

"N-no…"

"But… if you surrender yourself to me by tomorrow, I'll protect you."

"A-and if I don't?"

"I _will_ find a way to get to you, I promise you that," He smirked, "and when I do, you're mine until I'm tired of you. Then," he continued, glancing at both of them, "you're theirs." He smiled wickedly. "Bye, Roxas. Enjoy the rest of the time you have with your beloved red-head."

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: Thoughts? Thanks (:


	24. Chapter 24

Rating **M**

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 24

xXx

_Last time:_

_"But… if you surrender yourself to me by tomorrow, I'll protect you."_

_"A-and if I don't?"_

_"I will find a way to get to you, I promise you that," He smirked, "and when I do, you're mine until I'm tired of you. Then," he continued, glancing at both of them, "you're theirs." He smiled wickedly. "Bye, Roxas. Enjoy the rest of the time you have with your beloved red-head."_

xXx

I woke up on an unfamiliar bed, drenched in a cold sweat, somewhat confused as I sat up, my eyes darting around the unfamiliar room I was in. I stopped, startled when I saw myself in a mirror; it had been so long… too long since I'd last seen my reflection. I frowned as I stared at myself. I didn't really see why I was so special to Vexen, and getting up I examined myself more closely. I cried out in shocked surprise as one of the shadows appeared in my reflection's place and it seemed like it was laughing at my fear of it. I held up my arms defensively as it watched me, backing away and tripping backward onto the bed. I quickly got up and hid on the other side of the room, realizing my mistake too late as I came face to face with another mirror and this time, it was Vexen staring at me. I screamed and he smirked as I curled up defensively, just before the door opened.

"Roxas?" I heard Axel's voice and stared up at him, flinching as he held out his hand. "Demyx just told me that you passed out and wouldn't wake up and then I heard you screaming... I'm sorry, I would have never put you in here…" I stared at him. He had a red mark on his cheek and his usually pale knuckles were red. I glanced away.

"I don't need help," I murmured, standing on my own.

"What's wrong? Why are you upset?" I shook my head, glaring at Vexen as I moved past him. Axel followed my gaze but saw nothing in the mirror. "What are you looking at?" Our eyes locked.

"You should know that by now, unless you think I'm lying to you." Axel's eyes widened.

"You're angry with me? For _that?" _I didn't answer him, walking out of the room instead. "Roxas!" I gasped as he grasped my wrist, on edge as he pulled me back into the room and my eyes darted from mirror to mirror.

"Let me go!" He released me and I stared at him as he sighed.

"Come with me, please. I need to talk to you." I blinked as he left the room, hesitantly following him to the kitchen. He hesitated before looking back at me, grasping his arms to steady himself. He sighed softly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been harsh toward you… but I was angry and I… I have to kill any doubts that my gang has about me right away, before they fester and spread."

"Why were you angry?"

"They made you cry and-"

"I was crying mostly because I thought that you didn't believe me…" Axel banged his head against the cabinets.

"God I'm stupid." He closed his eyes, rubbing at his forehead. "I should have made sure you were okay first… I just… I wasn't thinking." I grasped his hand and squeezed. Axel's green eyes met mine. "I'm… I can't stand to see you upset or hurting. I'm so sorry if I hurt you."

"It's okay."Axel shook his head.

"It isn't." He sighed. "I don't think you realize… I get so _angry_ if you're hurting… I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." He came to me and I let him hug me. "You're everything to me. Not the person you were before or anything else anyone says. I love the person in my arms." I hugged him back, smiling as I buried my head into his chest. He'd made my decision so much easier.

"Good." Axel laughed a little.

"Why?" I looked up at him, my smile widening.

"Because I love you too." He smiled back and I tugged at his wrist. "C'mon, let's go celebrate with your sisters."

"Wait."

"Axel?" I whispered, gasping as he pulled me into a kiss.

"Do you forgive me?" I smiled up at him.

"Of course I do. Now come on," I whispered. The red-head smiled.

"Alright."

xXx

Axel led me outside to the back yard and we watched as the birthday girls opened their gifts, then we had cake and ate grilled sweet corn and hamburgers that Marluxia barbequed. It was fun, until Leon found me and pulled me aside. I stared up at him, somewhat intimidated. But… I also felt bad for him. When he moved, I could tell that Axel had done much more damage to him than he had to Axel. He appeared to be in a lot of pain.

"Roxas… Can I talk to you?" I nodded, walking with him, away from everybody else.

"Sure."

"I just wanted to say sorry." I smiled.

"Don't worry about it." I replied, turning to leave.

"Wait!" I hesitated. "Please…" I faced him again.

"What is it?"

"I know that it's been hard for you, since you lost your memory, but try to remember that that man loves you," he said, gesturing to Axel. I looked over at him and smiled as he played with his sisters, all three of them laughing madly. "So don't hurt him."

"Hurt him?" I turned back to Leon. "I love him. Why would I do that?"

"You're fighting and you pull all of the strings in your relationship and-" I took a step back and he hesitated.

"I know what you think. I've heard it already, and you're wrong! We haven't fought in a long time, and we only did today because I tried to stop Axel from going after you; and as far as me pulling the strings? No, I'm just lucky that Axel's being patient with me." I closed my eyes sighing heavily as I hesitated for a long time. "And… it isn't Axel's house that's being haunted." I looked up at him sadly before turning away. "It's me."

"Roxas… That makes you sound crazy-" I shook my head.

"I don't even care of you believe or respect me… but please respect Axel and please trust in him. He isn't the kind of person that would lie to you." I hesitated again. "Excuse me please, I want to spend some time with my husband," I said before walking away. When I made my way over to Axel, the red-head smiled at me.

"Hey."

"Hello."

"Did Leon apologize to you?"

"Yeah." His hand found mine.

"Good." I stared up at him and his green eyes sparkled as he smiled down at me.

"Axel…?"

"Yeah?"

"Would it be okay to go home?"

"Yeah, of course. Just let me say goodbye." I walked with him toward his family. "Hey, mom, we're going to head out, alright?" She came up to us and crossed her arms.

"You'd better not wait so long before you come and see me again, mister!" Axel's mother scolded. Axel smiled at her fondly.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He pulled her into a hug. "I'll miss you too much to want to be gone long." he said, sounding sad. It made me feel bad for wanting to leave. She smiled before kissing his cheek as he let go. Then he knelt down hugging his sisters. "You two, be good until we come back okay?" They giggled then pinky promised. When he pulled away he grasped my hand, leading me toward where we'd parked but I stopped, gasping when arms circled my waist.

"Bye Roxy," the little red-head whispered.

"Thanks for coming," the other finished. I let go of Axel's hand and hugged them back.

"Any time." They brightened.

"Really?" They asked in unison. I smiled.

"Really," I whispered back, laughing as they held their pinkies out and we pinky promised.

"Namine, Kairi, Roxas and Axel need to get going."

"Sorry momma!" the blonde yelled before hugging me again. "Come back soon." I smiled.

"I will." When I looked at Axel I saw that he was smiling. He didn't stop the entire way to the motorcycle. "Why are you smiling?" I asked when we stopped walking.

"You're starting to like my family again… and it makes me happy." I smiled back.

"What's not to like?" Axel hugged me, kissing the top of my head before putting my helmet on my head. Then he put on his own and mounted the motorcycle. I got on behind him, clinging to him, just before he took off.

This time I felt so free as I saw the world fly by in the form of blurred shapes and colors. It was beautiful.

I smiled, unable to stop, even when we were no longer driving. I took off my helmet and he took it before taking off his own, but before he could do anything else, I was hugging him again.

"Thank you." The red-head smiled warmly.

"You always enjoyed going for a ride… I thought you might like it again." My smile widened.

"I did."

"Are you ready to go inside?"

"Yeah." Axel dismounted and then helped me get off. I followed him into the house and he locked the door behind us.

"What do you want to do?"

"Me? I don't know… What's something we haven't done in a long time?"

"We don't watch movies anymore."

"Okay, let's do that."Axel smiled but the look he gave me was puzzling.

"You're very agreeable today. Is something on your mind?" I shook my head.

"I just want to spend time with you, that's all." His smile widened a little.

"Alright."

xXx

We ended up watching two movies; I'd settled in between Axel's legs, resting on his chest, and it was so comfortable that, by the end of the second movie I was dozing off. Axel shook me awake when it was over. I rubbed at my eyes as I sat up.

"It's getting late… Do you want to go to bed?" I shook my head as we stood.

"Will you stay up with me?" I didn't want the day to be over yet. Axel blinked surprisedly.

"Why?"

"I want to look at the stars with you."

"Okay." I gasped as he swept me off my feet and carried me in his arms, shutting off lights as he went, finally going through the sliding door but not stopping until we'd reached the grass. I stared up at the stars in awe as he sat me down. I lay down and he did the same, smiling at me when I grasped his hand before pointing out the constellations to me.

"Thank you." Axel laughed.

"No, thank _you_."

"Why?"

"Today's been fun and, we haven't looked at the stars together for a long time. Not since our honeymoon. It's nice." I blushed, really wishing that I could remember it. "What's the matter?"

"N-nothing." Axel propped himself up on his elbow, leaning over me.

"You're a bad liar," he whispered. I smiled a little.

"I was just wishing I could remember…"

"Remember what?"

"That night, under the stars." He smiled a little.

"It was a good night." I stared up into his eyes. My gaze travelled to his lips.

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes." I didn't stop him as he leant closer, kissing me and leaving my body burning from it. I gasped as he pulled away, his hand trailing down my chest. "That day we went scuba diving," he whispered, kissing me again until I was moaning into his mouth, "and then on our way back to the hotel, we watched the sun set," he continued, his hands trailing along my body, "but instead of going back to our room, we made love under the stars and slept on the beach." My entire body began to tingle as I remembered how he'd pressed me into the sand as the waves had crashed beside us. I moaned his name, lost in the memory. "Do you remember?"

I gasped, my eyes opening wide as he began to work his way down my neck, his hand firmly cupping my growing erection. "Yes!"

"How many times did I make love to you?" he whispered, his hand working the button to my jeans.

"Three times," I whispered back. Axel smiled, his eyes alight.

"You _do_ remember," he purred, bracing himself over me just before he kissed me again. I gasped as his hand slipped into my pants and he began to stroke me, writhing from the pleasurable feelings. When he broke the kiss, he hesitated. "Is this okay? Or do you feel violated?" I shook my head, wrapping my arms around him.

"Touch me, _please_," I begged, my voice a little desperate. I didn't know what would happen when I fell asleep, so I didn't want the opportunity to pass by. Axel smiled gently then took off my shirt before taking off his own, pressing his chest against mine. It felt so wonderful, having his skin pressed against mine, and soon he was laying claim to my mouth again. His tongue slid into my unresisting mouth and I readily kissed him back, letting his hands explore my body, each of us teasing the other. He pulled his mouth away from mine, panting as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"I shouldn't," he whimpered, "I'm so close to fucking you," he whispered.

"You don't want to?"

"I don't want you to regret it in the morning." I held him to myself.

"I won't." Axel shook his head.

"You don't have to try not to hurt my feelings, Rox."

"I'm not," I whispered back, holding out my pinky, "I promise." Axel smiled and we pinky promised.

"You're so cute sometimes," he murmured. Before I could respond, his lips met mine. I closed my eyes as he kissed me deeply and I let him have me.

xXx

I rested on Axel's chest, smiling as we talked till dawn. I felt at peace. For the first time, I finally felt close to him. As the sun rose, Axel smiled at me. "Good morning, sunshine." I smiled back and he pressed me into the grass, kissing me deeply. "Ready to go to bed?" I hesitated.

"Will you hold me as I fall asleep?"

"Of course I will."

"Okay." We sat up, getting dressed and then he helped me up, leading me to our bedroom. Hands rested on my hips and I smiled as he leant down, kissing me sweetly.

"I'll make you breakfast when you wake up." I laughed.

"Sounds good." He smiled, taking off his shoes before laying down. I did the same, crawling into his arms and linking my legs with his.

"Sleep well." I hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go. "I love you." I smiled.

"I love you too."

xXx

"Hello, Roxas." Vexen said, smiling smugly, "Did you decide?" My eyes narrowed at him.

"Yes, I did." His smile widened.

"And?"

"Go to hell!" His smile vanished then he sighed and shook his head.

"I was really hoping you'd have a change of heart…" I crossed my arms, turning away. "Especially because I found this little stray, wandering around lost." I turned around quickly as a struggling red-head was brought to him.

"Reno, no!"

"And I'm going to teach it that it shouldn't go around, trying to play 'hero'!" He hissed, sending the red to the ground. He spat on him then knelt down. "He should've remembered from last time_; I don't like heroes."_

"What are you going to do to him?" Vexen smiled wickedly.

"That's entirely up to you."

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: For some reason, I'm having difficulty writing this part. It's in my head but just the /writing/ part took me four days /: apologies if I'm slow; Idk why but I'm having issues.

Was it alright? Please let me know your thoughts (:


	25. Chapter 25

Rating:** M**

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 25

A/n: Sorry to anyone who's been patiently waiting… oh and if anyone's interested in seeing what my little sweetheart looks like, my picture is –currently- of Avery (:

Warning: Rokuaku cos I love it.

_Last time:_

_"Reno, no!"_

_"And I'm going to teach it that it shouldn't go around, trying to play 'hero'!" He hissed, sending the red to the ground. He spat on him then knelt down. "He should've remembered from last time; I don't like heroes."_

_"What are you going to do to him?" Vexen smiled wickedly. _

_"That's entirely up to you."_

xXx

I woke up alone, but it wasn't long before Axel came into the room, humming to himself. I blinked at him. He seemed very happy. He glanced over at me and smiled a smile so beautiful that it took my breath away.

"Oh good, you're awake!" I blinked dumbly as he turned to leave, "Stay there!" I smiled as he left. When he returned, my eyes widened in surprise. Axel had, indeed, made me breakfast. He brought me a tray and there was bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, toast, waffles, pancakes, an orange, apple juice, coffee—"I didn't know what you wanted." My mouth fell open.

"So you made it all?" I asked, laughing. He shook his head.

"No, not everything," he said, laughing too, "but close enough."

"Thank you." He smiled, drinking the coffee as I ate some toast.

"Did you have fun last night?" I smiled back.

"I did." He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I've never slept out in my back yard before."

"I don't think I have either." Axel smiled and then leant closer, kissing me softly. He tasted like his coffee and I liked it. I kissed him back. "You taste like coffee," I whispered.

"You taste sweet, like strawberry jam," he whispered back. I laughed and so did he.

"What do you want to do today?"

"I don't know. But for now, I'm happy to eat breakfast with you."

"Good." Axel smiled, then suddenly, his eyes lit up. "What's up?" I asked, confusedly.

"I know what I want to do now." I laughed.

"What do you want to do?" He smiled widely. "You have to tell me," I said, suspiciously.

"No I don't."

"Axel!" I said, pouting. He laughed.

"Breakfast first." My pout deepened and he smiled. "Because whether you like it or not, I have a surprise for you."

"Why do you always try to surprise me?" I asked, smiling despite myself.

"Because it's fun." I laughed a little, shaking my head.

xXx

We didn't go anywhere until about four in the afternoon—an hour after we'd woken up. Even then, I wasn't allowed to see where we were going.

I laughed a little as he blindfolded me, smiling as he scooped me up into his arms, not having a care in the world as he carried me, setting out for our destination on foot.

Finally, after quite a while, he sat me down and covered my ears for a few minutes then gently pushed me forward.

I allowed myself to be led. "And… Stop," I was instructed. I stopped and the blindfold was removed, gasping as I covered my mouth. There were butterflies everywhere.

"Where are we?"

"Hollow Bastion's Butterfly Gardens." My eyes welled up with tears; it was so beautiful; there were flowers and butterflies everywhere. Arms wrapped around me from behind. "Do you like it?" I gasped as butterflies of all shades and sizes flew around us.

"I love it… It's beautiful…" Axel smiled as we walked in further, ignoring the other couples that were inside the domed building. I turned back to look at him and smiled. A bright green butterfly had landed on top of his head. None the wiser, he grasped my hand and we explored. I couldn't help but smile; it was so magical.

xXx

When we got home again Axel led me to the back yard. It was dark out, so I was curious as to what he was doing. Then, he plugged a cord into the side of the house and I gasped as the trees all along the fence lit up. He smiled then grasped my hand, leading me into the yard.

"You really planned out today, didn't you?" I asked as he led me to a black and white checkered blanket with a basket on it. Axel's smile widened as we sat.

"Maybe." I laughed.

"I love you." The red-head smiled, more to himself than to me, and opened up the basket.

"I love you too, Rox," he whispered, pulling out a chilled container of what appeared to be fruit. He opened it and ate a strawberry then glanced at me. "Don't eat this unless you want to get drunk." I stared at the fruit, remembering… We'd had a party once, here. We'd served fruit that'd soaked in alcohol overnight because Axel preferred it to drinking…

"Why do you want to get drunk?" Axel shrugged.

"I miss it now and then." I reached into the bowl, taking a piece of pineapple and eating it. Axel smiled at me before doing the same and the way he did made me glance away and bite my lower lip. He reminded me of Reno so much… I was certain that it didn't help that they'd been twins… and I really wished that I knew what to do... how to save him. I frowned, hating that I was remembering Reno _now_. We'd been having such a good time…

"Hey, what's the matter?" I shook my head.

"It's nothing."

"Don't you remember what I told you last night?" I shook my head again. "You," he said, brushing my hair out of my eyes, "are a bad liar." I closed my eyes.

"I don't want to worry you…"

"Nothing worries me more when I catch you lying to me." I sighed softly.

"Well then…" I said, staring up into his eyes, "Can I ask you for some advice?" The red-head looked surprised.

"Of course you can."

"If you… were terrified of something, would you still face it to help someone you cared about?"

"Well, of course I would… it's okay to be scared; it isn't okay to give up. You should always fight for what you feel is right." Axel smiled down at me. "I tell myself that all the time."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Hard to believe, right?" I nodded.

"You seem so tough…" Axel laughed.

"I _am_ tough," he replied, "but I still get scared. If that makes sense."

"Yeah." He scratched the back of his head, looking like he didn't know what to say.

"Was that helpful?"

"Yes, very much." He smiled then ate another piece of fruit.

"So tell me, who do you want to protect?" I blushed.

"Uhm… A friend…" He looked a little worried.

"Be careful, okay?"

"You aren't going to stop me?" Axel sighed then ate another, chewing slowly.

"I can tell you 'no' till I'm blue in the face, but you'll do it anyway." My face heated up and I looked away, biting my lower lip. Axel's fingers curled under my chin, raising it and our eyes met. "But… I know that you'll only do it because it's important to you. I can't run your life for you, Rox, no matter how much I want to protect you from every bad thing out there." I blinked back tears. He was so understanding… even though he only wanted the best for me… I hugged him.

"Thank you," I whispered. He hugged me back but said nothing for a long time.

xXx

Axel ate more fruit than I did, by far. He looked both lost in thought and unsettled.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, feeling tingly. He looked at me, grinning suddenly.

"Amazing." I smiled back. By his expression, I didn't doubt it.

"Hey, have you ever made a fort before, Roxy?" I blinked, a little surprised. Axel never called me 'Roxy'.

"A fort?" The red-head pouted a little.

"Yes, yes; it's like a tent." I smiled amusedly.

"…no."

"I haven't either. Let's do it!" I blinked.

"What?"

"C'mon it'll be fun!" He smiled goofily, pulling me along until we got to our bedroom. I laughed as he began to pull the blankets off of the bed, helping him make a 'fort' as he showed me how he thought we should. Then he grabbed our pillows and an extra blanket and clumsily crawled inside. "Well come in here!" I smiled and crawled inside.

As I came up to him, he hit me with a pillow, snickering as I pouted at him. My pout deepened and I grabbed my own, hitting him back. Laughing, he hit me again and tackled me to the floor. I smiled up at him as he held my hands above my head. I stared up at him, unable to stop myself as he loomed over me, his hair was pulled back, revealing his high, flushed, cheekbones. His thin, masculine, lips opened and he smiled at me broadly, revealing perfect white teeth as those beautiful green eyes stared into mine.

"You're so beautiful, Axel," I whispered. He blinked in surprise then smiled a little furtively.

"Good; that means you won't stop me."

"Stop you?" His body pressed flush against mine and I blushed deeply. His small smile widened.

"You're too cute, my darling," he whispered, pressing his lips to mine. My body heated up as he kissed me more deeply, more confidently. I smiled, liking this. He was being so open; showing me a side of him that I hadn't seen.

"I like it when you get drunk," I whispered against his lips. "I wish you could always be drunk." Axel smiled, looking like a satisfied cat.

"_I_ like it when you're screaming in pleasure under me," he whispered back, his smirk widening as I blushed deeply, "but I can't always have that either, so I guess we're even." My mouth fell open and I stared up at him, trying to say _something._ My blush just deepened instead. Axel laughed a little. "_Mmm_ I'm turning you on with such naughty words, Roxy." I moaned, unable to help myself as he rolled his hips into mine. I stared up at him, trying to catch my breath.

"You'd _ah_ better not just leave me like this," I whispered. Axel smiled again before grinning widely.

"When have I _ever_ not taken care of you," he whispered, pausing to bite my ear teasingly, _"Roxy?"_ I gasped, moaning. His little pet name for me made my heart flutter. I bit my lower lip as he proceeded to explore my ear thoroughly.

He worked his way down my body and I covered my mouth with my hands in an attempt to be quiet, squeezing my eyes shut. Axel stopped and I peeked at him, gasping when he pulled my hands away from my mouth.

I swallowed as those burning eyes watched me, never wavering from my eyes, even as he went down and… I moaned as his hot mouth engulfed my bare erection, going insane when he sucked relentlessly. I moaned his name over and over and over, barely realizing that I was arching my back off the ground.

He held me down, coating my arousal with something as he pulled away. "What are you doing?" I asked, bewildered as he got on his knees. He stared at me levelly for a long moment.

"Do you want to see another way I masturbate?" I blushed darkly.

"Y-yes…" I watched him as he took off his clothes sensually, fascinated as he touched himself, his fingers entering his own body, plunging deeper and deeper, stretching himself out and…

"Do you know what I fanaticize about when I do this?" He whispered, his voice so hot that it made me melt.

"N-no…" I said weakly. He closed his eyes, moaning softly.

"That time that you were inside of me, fucking me from behind as I was gripping our couch, losing my mind." I turned crimson, envisioning the room next door, where we'd been. He frowned a little. "You never wanted to after that." My heart pounded as my face flushed even more deeply.

"Yes I did." I whispered without thinking. I swallowed when he gave me a heated gaze. Then he crawled over to me and straddled my hips, pressing his much larger erection against mine and grinding his hips into mine. I moaned and he leant down.

"Do you still?" He whispered into my ear. I nodded timidly.

"But I still don't know what I'm doing… You're the only one I've ever-" I started, getting cut off when his lips pressed flush against mine and he took my breath away. I closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around him, only opening them when he grasped my erection. I gasped into his mouth when he shifted and suddenly I was surrounded by the most amazing heat and tightness… I didn't even realize I was moaning until we were connected as completely as possible.

"God, Axel!" He shifted in a way that made him feel good and he moaned languidly. He looked so beautiful… so amazing… that I couldn't think. He smiled a sultry little smile that made my entire body burn and ache for him.

"Do you like being inside of me, my love?"

"No," I whispered back, my body trembling, "I love being inside of you." He leant down, kissing my lips.

"Then let me show you a good time," he whispered against them. My mouth opened but before I could say anything, he was moving up and down faster and faster and _faster_ while all I could do was moan continuously and try to hold on to something. He felt so amazing… His eyes widened in surprise when I pulled him down hard, making our chests collide.

"Do you know how perfect you are?" I whispered into his ear. He gasped, moaning loudly as I thrust into him hard.

"Do that again… _Please_…" I gripped him tightly and then did as he asked, intoxicated by the delicious friction and by the sounds he was making. I gasped, moaning when he began to move with me, making our connection deeper and deeper with each thrust. I moaned his name and he kissed me deeply in response. "You're doing perfectly," he encouraged, moving faster as I moved faster.

"C-can I be on top?" I murmured against his lips. He stopped and blinked down at me in surprise.

"Okay." I gasped as he pulled away, watching as he lay down. I crawled over to him and he grasped his legs, pulling them up and apart for me, ready for us to become one once more. "Hurry," he whispered, his voice exuding urgency and I didn't hesitate. I closed my eyes, shuddering as that amazing heat and tightness surrounded me once again. It felt perfect. I thrust into him, hard.

_"Ah!"_ I stared at his face, shuddering as he moaned. He was so entrancingly beautiful, so enticing as he came undone. It made me want to see what other expressions and sounds I could get him to make. I grasped his legs, throwing them over my shoulders and did it again and again, drinking in every response that I received. I moaned; I couldn't believe I'd been missing out on this. His mouth found mine as we moved together, each of getting lost in a kiss that continued on, even after we'd climaxed.

"Why do you like me better when I've had alcohol?" Axel asked, resting his head against my chest as we held each other after that.

"I just like it when you're more open and at ease." Axel's fingers ran along my stomach absentmindedly.

"Sorry… I still get nervous 'round you, y'know?" I stared down at his red spikes.

"Why?"

"I just… do. I don't want you do change your mind about me and leave. I've always done it." I ran my fingers through is hair as he bit his lower lip.

"I'm never going to stop loving you." Axel stared up at me, eyes wide. "Get it memorized." The red-head laughed then hugged me.

"You'd better not," he murmured.

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: Thanks for reading! Thoughs? Hope it's alright; insomnia's getting to me.


	26. Chapter 26

Rating: **M**

**How Long is Forever?**

Chapter 26

A/n: Hey everybody- this' the last chapter, just to forewarn you. Thanks for reviewing last time!

xXx

_Last time:_

_"Why do you like me better when I've had alcohol?" Axel asked, resting his head against my chest as we held each other after that._

_"I just like it when you're more open and at ease." Axel's fingers ran along my stomach absentmindedly._

_"Sorry… I still get nervous 'round you, y'know?" I stared down at his red spikes._

_"Why?"_

_"I just… do. I don't want you do change your mind about me and leave. I've always done it." I ran my fingers through is hair as he bit his lower lip._

_"I'm never going to stop loving you." Axel stared up at me, eyes wide. "Get it memorized." The red-head laughed then hugged me._

_"You'd better not," he murmured._

xXx

_I woke, confused when I couldn't find Axel anywhere and slowly emerged from our fort. My eyes scanned the room for him… but he was nowhere to be found, before I found myself finally going outside. I blinked confusedly. There was a large crowd near the gate to our house. Unable to help myself, I ran toward them and then opened the gate, working my way to the center. I stopped, horrified when I got there. Axel was on the ground, blood pouring from a fresh bullet wound in his right temple. I fell to my knees and screamed…_

I woke up, startled, and looked around. Axel wasn't beside me. Having a horrible, sinking feeling, I scrambled out of our fort and I ran to every room, screaming for him. He was nowhere. My knees trembled before buckling and I slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor as I cried uncontrollably for the next half hour, terrified of going outside.

The front door opened and my eyes locked with Axel's. He dropped the bag of groceries he'd gotten and ran to me. "Roxas!"

"A-axe? Is it really…?" I tried to ask, crying hard as he knelt in front of me.

"I'm so sorry! We were out of eggs and milk and-" I hugged him, refusing to let go. "What happened?" He asked, helping me up and leading me to the couch.

"I-I dreamed that you d-died a-and-"

"Shhh," he whispered, holding me, "I'm here now, it'll be okay."

xXx

"Did you like your dream?"

"_You_ did that?"

"Of course I did." I shook out of anger.

"You despicable son-of-a-" Vexen smirked and I glowered at him.

"Because I was thinking of making it a reality." I paled.

"Don't you dare!"The blond laughed.

"But first, I need to feed the shadows… they're hungry," he said glancing at Reno.

"No! This has to stop!" Vexen laughed.

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"We will fight. If I win, you _will_ move on and never _ever_ bother me or Reno or Axel again."

"What do I get out of it?"

"If you win… I will take off the rosary and do whatever you want."

"Roxas, no!" Vexen kicked the red-head and smirked.

"Somehow, I don't believe you."

"I swear on Axel's life that I am not lying to you!" He came closer to me.

"You should be careful with that in the future, because I accept," he hissed, "and if you go back on your word, Axel _will_ die." I nodded, swallowing.

"First, let Reno go." Vexen kicked the wounded red-head toward me and I crawled over to him, removing the object from my neck and placing it around Reno's. As soon as I did, Vexen grasped my hair and pulled me up. "Ow! Let go!"

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"O-our deal-"

"Is meaningless." I glared at him icily.

"I should have known you'd always be a liar!" I spat at him. "What now? Are you finally going to get your way and rape me?"I stiffened when the darkness below my feet swirled away and I saw myself sleeping on the couch, resting against Axel who was reading a book.

"Oh no, before we do anything, you get to watch yourself die." I gasped, clawing at his hands as he immediately gripped my neck. I thrashed, my body moving a little, and he laughed. "Even better, we have an audience." I shook my head and he tightened his grip.

"A-axxe-" The red-head turned, as if he'd heard my voice.

"Roxas?" He gasped as he saw my face turning red, staring as I fought something unseen. He dropped his book and checked my neck frantically, "No! Where is it?" He asked, panicking as I gasped, trying to breathe in vain, when he realized that I wasn't wearing the rosary, "Roxas? Roxas! Fight, please!"

I clenched my fists as I heard his voice begging me not to give up. Tears slid down my cheeks as spots appeared in my vision and then my eyes widened. The two white butterflies that led me to Reno before were fluttering toward me. Gently, they landed on either of my hands, disappearing when two key-like weapons appeared in their place. I hit Vexen with them as hard as I could, coughing and gasping for air as he staggered away from me. I saw my body fall limply onto Axel before darkness swirled over the scene.

"Brat! I'll kill you!" He yelled as I distanced myself. I ran forward, blades dragging behind me to make an attack, forced to stop when the shadows attacked me. I took them out with two swift blows; one and then the other, amazed at myself. They screeched as they were incinerated by a bright light and I gasped. It was as if these blades were made for me. Then in on fluid motion, I kicked Vexen to the ground as he ran at me and sank the blades into the ground, crisscrossing them at his neck so that he couldn't move. The blond smirked at me.

"What do you intend to do to me, _kill_ me?" Vexen laughed. "I'm already dead. You can't defeat me." I knelt down.

"No, but, they can," I whispered staring off into the distance at the yellow glowing eyes that had been observing us the entire time, "and I'm betting that they're hungry, not picky," I said, patting his head before beginning to walk toward where Reno had been left.

"No, wait!" He yelled I paused turning back. They were already closing in.

"You do realize that I'd love nothing more than to hear you scream as they devour you, right?"

"Please…" I frowned.

"Will you uphold your end of our bargain and never so much as look at me again?" He muttered something under his breath. "What was that?" he glared at me.

"_Yes_." I turned away and began to walk away, willing the keyblades to vanish, hearing him coming after me immediately after, I summoned the black keyblade, running it through him and pinning him to the ground as he screamed. I stared down at him.

"Goodbye Vexen." He screamed my name but it fell upon deaf ears as I left him for oblivion. I smiled. It would be a fitting name for the blade once the shadows were done with him.

I went to where Reno had been left, hearing screams in the distance but he was nowhere to be found. I panicked a little. I'd given him the rosary for protection so… "Roxas…"

I turned, gasping. He stood before me, looking confused as his wounds healed. My eyes widened as he was enveloped in a brilliant light and he began to float upward, a beautiful smile coming across his face when the darkness opened up and he realized what was happening. I ran toward him. "I'm free!" He exclaimed, looking ecstatic. "All because of you." I smiled happily.

"I'll miss you!" Reno laughed happily reaching out, our fingertips just brushing. I gasped again, seeing the outline of shimmering wings.

"Don't worry, we'll meet again, I promise. Till then, take care of my brother." I promised and then his hand slipped out of mine and he was gone.

"Goodbye… Reno," I whispered, saddened but also happy. I turned, wanting to find the mansion, to be safe, gasping instead when I heard the red-head's voice saying 'thank you' and my vision was filled with a blinding white light. Overcome, I collapsed.

xXx

I woke to a gentle breeze, raising my hand and rubbing my eyes before sitting up. I blinked I was in St. Joe's Hospital. I looked around the room and quickly realized that I was the only one in it. I was a little disappointed, wondering where Axel was. I shrugged, supposing that it didn't matter all that much. I was probably only in here because Vexen had almost killed me; I frowned, realizing that there was an IV in my arm and a catheter in place and I hit my call light. The nurse came bustling in, her eyes wide with shock when she saw me.

"Yuffie?" I asked, remembering the woman.

"Roxas! You're awake! Thank goodness!" I had a bad feeling.

"What's happening? Where is my husband?" The woman smiled kindly.

"We keep urging him to go home but he's refused to leave you this whole time… He just went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee, sweetheart." I relaxed a little before she continued. "You wouldn't wake up, Roxas… You've been asleep for three weeks and five days." I paled.

"Oh God…"

"Let me get the Doctor and then he can reassess you, okay?" I nodded, tears sliding down my face. What had I done to Axel? I was betting he was a wreck. I watched her leave then stared out the window for the longest time. I assumed that they were returning when I heard the door open, but froze when I heard the tired sounding voice of the person who had entered.

"No, Demyx, I'm not going to come home. No. I said no! I refuse to leave Roxas all alone…" I turned to look at him. His eyes widened in shock and he dropped his coffee and barely caught his phone, quickly hanging up and setting it down before rushing over to me. I stared at him and opened my mouth, not knowing what to say. "Roxas? Do you remember me?" he whispered as his eyes welled up, just before he began to cry.

"Of course I do, Axel…" The red-head cried harder and hugged me tightly. I weakly hugged him back. "Why wouldn't I?"

"T-the MRI results were strange, the Doctors thought that you'd had a relapse and would remember even less."

"What happened to me..?"

"Y-you looked like you were being s-strangled and then you wouldn't w-wake up again… I thought that you were g-gone…"

"Axel…" I whispered, guiltily; he was hysterical, "I will never go anywhere again. Please don't cry…" He cried harder, saying nothing until the Doctor arrived. Axel let them examine me and by the time they'd left, the red-head had fallen asleep in a very uncomfortable looking chair. I didn't wake him up. He looked absolutely exhausted; there were even dark circles under his eyes. I hated seeing him that way.

xXx

I went through days of rigorous physical therapy, determined to make it to the bathroom on my own at least and as soon as I could walk that far without help, I requested getting rid of the catheter for good, happy to have it fulfilled. During that time, Axel was close physically but he looked so distant inside. I was sure that his fears of me relapsing again were consuming him, despite my continued improvement.

One day, I gripped his hand and he squeezed back as he stared out the window.

"Axel, Reno went to heaven," I whispered. He stared at me.

"What?"

"Vexen… captured him to try to get to me… and… he was hurting him and was going to hurt you, so I fought him for his, my and your freedom. I won." Axel's mouth fell open. "And then Reno was surrounded by a beautiful light. He was perfect and happy, and just before he vanished, I saw his feathered wings… and then I turned around, saw a blinding light and… woke up here." I smiled. "And I know you now."

"What do you mean…" Axel whispered uncertainly. I grasped the back of his neck and pulled him close. Our eyes locked and he gasped softly as our noses brushed. "Roxas?" he asked. I felt him melt as I gently kissed him.

"I remember everything about you, Axel," I whispered. His lips trembled and he started to cry again just before I kissed him again. When he calmed, he kissed me back. I smiled. "Thanks for putting up with me when I was lost." He smiled back at me.

"I'm sure you would've done the same." I beamed up at him.

"Of course."

xXx

When I fell asleep again, I was uncertain of what to expect, but happy at the same time because I knew that I wouldn't have to deal with the nightmare known as 'Vexen' ever again and tomorrow, if I was still doing well, I could go home. So far I'd been okay and hadn't had dreams… but I didn't trust myself not to see ghosts ever again.

I trembled, frightened when I was surrounded by darkness but gasped when two white butterflies flew around me. "You!" I exclaimed. I'd thought that they had been Reno's doing… Could he still be helping me? I wondered. I chased them and as I ran, the darkness morphed into the most beautiful garden I had ever seen. I stopped as they landed on the ground, surrounded by bushes of white peonies. I gasped as they morphed into something else… A woman. Tears fell down my face and I ran into her arms.

"Momma!" She _had_ always been there for me… watching out for me…

"Oh, my baby… Look how you've grown," she whispered, a prideful glimmer in her eyes. "I just had to see you, to let you know that I'm so proud of you, Roxas." I cried harder and soft lips pressed to my forehead. I wished that I knew what to say. I wished that I could say anything! I wanted to know her so badly. "Now, sweetheart, it's time for you to go back to living your life and being happy."

"But I want to know you!" She smiled sweetly.

"You do know me, baby… and we will meet again when it's your time."

"I don't understand…"

She smiled down at me happily, "My darling, the storm has passed." I searched her beautiful blue eyes. My nightmares… were over?

"For how long?" That gleeful smile widened.

"Always."

xXx

-The End-

A/n: I fully intend to continue this in another story (because I could write about these two forever if I wanted to). This seems to be a good end for this and the supernatural parts, however.

I hope that you enjoyed the story. Tell me your thoughts one more time? Thanks :]


	27. Chapter 27

A/n: Hey everybody! Thank you so much for reading this and for giving me such awesome feedback. I can't thank you enough for being so wonderful! You truly brighten my day with your amazing comments.

I wanted to let you know (since I've gotten asked a lot if/ when I'm starting another story after this one... and I've posted two chapters for it, so far) that I have already begun the continuation. Here're the specs. for the next story:

Genres: Romance/friendship

Characters: Axel/ Roxas

Rating:** M**

**Always**

Summary: Continuation of Reckoning and How Long is Forever?  
Axel had always done so much for me… was always there for me… and I found myself wanting to return the favor. After all… he deserved all the happiness in the world, for giving me mine. Akuroku. Roxas' POV.

Here's an excerpt from chapter one:

_I smiled at Axel, completely at peace, as he held me close. We danced, moving together as if we were one, and it was truly magical. I smiled up at him and then grinned widely, barely believing that June had come already and that we were at one of the most perfect weddings I'd ever been to in my entire life. It had been a beautiful, perfect, afternoon creating the foundation for a stunning wedding. Sora and Riku had married on the beach at Destiny Islands at sunset and the reception was now commencing as the last traces of twilight fell over us._

_My smile widened as I got lost in his eyes, staring up at the stunning man who was holding me in his arms. Axel had always done so much for me… was always there for me… and I found myself wanting to return the favor. After all… he deserved all the happiness in the world, for giving me mine. My smile widened when he smiled back at me._

_"Hey! Smile!" Demyx yelled, sneaking a picture. He laughed, smiling at the image on his digital camera. "You two are a vision of happiness again," he said, smiling. "It makes me so happy!" I smiled up at Axel and the red-head smiled back, each of us thinking the same thing. I stood on my toes, kissing him as he leant down, kissing me back. Demyx tried to take another picture of us and Axel snatched away his camera. The red-head tsked._

_"Oh Demy, I've always been happy with my sweetheart." I smiled, hugging him._

_"Me too."_

-I hope you'll enjoy it (: and I'll do my best not to disappoint you.

-Azurela


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